The Hockey Junkies

2012 NHL All Star Draft

2012-01-26T22:51:00.011-05:00

So, the draft is officially over. Teams have been picked, alliances have been made. We were disappointed that no trade was made.

And you know you want it...here are our thoughts on the draft.
(pictures taken from Google, Twitter, Tumblr and our television set)

- We need to get this out of the way: James Duthie, extreme DILF.

Such a beautiful human being.

- AND THE ROOKIES!!! You should know how we feel about the youngings. Especially everything about Landeskog's face.

Roooooooooooookies.

- In almost predictable fashion, there were cheers for Alfredsson and boos for Chara. We would have booed both of them because of reasons. Neither have a real good sense of humor and it was kind of boring to hear them talk. But that's nothing new.

We did like the assistants.

- Our favorite part of every All Star weekend is the chatting between players and the general schmoozing that goes on around the room. This time was no exception.
Carey Price was playing musical chairs and talking to everyone. Every commercial break he was in a different part of the greenroom.
Dennis Wideman.

Wait, what? We kid, we kid.
Evgeni Malkin was chatting with Jordan Eberle.
Jamie Benn was sitting awkwardly by himself.

- Carey Price stole the show though. He didn't know whether to spit or swallow when he was shockingly drafted by Team Chara.

And he was his usual goofball self when drafted.
"Think Z's going for offense or defense? And remember there's no defense in this."
You know how much we love PriceFaces

- They showed a clip of Matt Duchene mic'ed up and it made us miss him all over again. He's such a dork and we love him for it.

- We were very surprised that Pavel Datsyuk was taken first in the ASG Draft. He's an excellent player but he's not Swedish, not a Senator, not a Bruin and he's not Slovakian.

But we like the choice.

- Alfredsson picked Erik Karlsson.

"Spezza's pissed there. His black eye is getting even blacker."
Who knew the kid has a sense of humor? Makes us like him a little more now.

- Joffrey Lupul being sassy? More please.

"You guys don't like the Leafs, eh?"

- Best Dressed: the Marians.

STUDS.

- Quite possibly the worst dressed and/or thought that this was Halloween and dressed up as his alter ego Gator who is a pimp:

Dion Phaneuf.

- Also Marian Gaborik had the flub of the night.

He saw Henrik and Girardi and went senile for a moment.

- We want to apologize to the Letang fangirls in the world but the kid needs a haircut...NOW. He looks like a brunette Fabio.

Do not want.

- Phil Kessel.

Taking it like a champ.

- They should mic Jason Spezza up for everything.

He had some of the best lines:
"I bet Malkin $20 he would go before me."
"Goalie fraternity taking care of each other." about Lundqvist drafting Quick

"165lbs and he can fly, no one can catch him." about Karlsson

And this gem with Karlsson about the Sedins
[JS]"I wonder if him and his brother will have any chemistry in the game?"
[EK]"Doubtful."
[JS]"Doubtful."
[EK]"Aliens."
[JS]"They don't even have to talk and they know where to pass the puck to each other."
[EK]"They have a secret language inside their head."
[JS]"It's unfair." cue Spezza laugh.

- For some reason watching John Tavares and Jordan Eberle, two of Canada's heroes, bro it up brought tears to our eyes.

So perfect.

- Shea Weber and Ryan Suter. Broken up.

WE CAN'T STOP THE TEARS.

THE TEARS!

- The hug between Zdeno Chara and Tyler Seguin.....

We can't.

- Jimmy Howard's black sweater under his blazer? Is he taking fashion tips from the Swedes?

We aren't complaining, he looked sharp.

- The hug between Henrik Lundqvist and Dan Girardi was adorable.

We love how Henrik loves his teammates.

- Sorry but we're not sorry that John Tavares is a good-looking dude.

He has really grown into that face.

- We were disappointed that Jamie Benn was in the final four.

No, that is not okay. Not okay.

- Logan Couture was the last man standing. It's the teeth.

But at least he got the car. Even if it is a Honda.

We liked how Henrik and Alfredsson both hugged him when he sat down. It was a nice thing to do for a young kid. "I want two now."

- The End.

So, what team do you like the best? If you're like us then you're just cheering for individuals because both teams have good players and evil players.

We just want John Tavares to score five goals. And then James Neal to score five. And Jordan Eberle to come out of nowhere and score ten right on the doorstep when his team is down.

Ryan Suter and Shea Weber will just stare longingly at each other from across the ice surface because it's too much seeing the other on another side.

But Carey Price will steal the show by not giving a shit and pretending to make saves when he's really just drunk in the net.

Uh, well, what do you think will happen? Did you like the picks? Let us know!

More All Star Game News

2012-01-25T23:28:00.002-05:00

[excuse us for the sassy post today...]

- James Neal has been named the replacement for Alex Ovechkin. Yay. Finally, Pens fans can stop bitching about him not going. We're sorry we're not sorry. He deserved it but shut the hell up already.

- Adam Larsson and Adam Henrique are not going to represent the Devils at the All Star Game for the rookies so Raphael Diaz from the Canadiens and Carl Hagelin from the Rangers have been named their replacements.

Does anyone else think this is a calculated move by Lou Lamoriello as a way to protest the ASG and everything it represents? Yes we know that both kids are injured but this seems like a Sweet Lou thing to do. He doesn't let his players Twitter. He doesn't let them have personalities. We're only half-joking on that. Just something to ponder.

- TSN wants to know who you think will go last in the ASG Draft tomorrow night? So we're going to ask the same question. Who do you think will go last? We're betting it's Brian Campbell because he's a ginger and plays for the Panthers.

- Lots of new guys going to the All Star Game. TSN has an article about some of these guys and how they handled this news. And how they're going to handle the festivities.

The one player they don't mention is John Tavares. You know how we feel about his face. And you should know how excited we are to see him at the ASG. The kid definitely deserves the recognition.

- Jamie Benn was activated off IR just in time for the All Star Game. We couldn't be happier for him. Like Tavares, we think he is another young player who deserves teh recognition and we can't wait to see how he does.

Other News:

- The Sharks put Antero Niittymaki on waivers.

- The Leafs re-signed John-Michael Liles to a four-year contract extension.

- This video is from Tuorto and we couldn't stop watching it. Someone stop the pain but we have to watch it.

A New Generation of Keslurking

2012-01-24T19:39:00.003-05:00

It seems that Ryan Kesler is not above using his own children as props when photobombing his teammates' interviews.

Now, that's a man after our own hearts. Here is video evidence of the proud papa and chubby baby face interrupting Manny Malholtra's interview.

The way that baby stares at Malholtra, it's like he knows what he's doing and loves it. Definitely the spawn of Ryan Kesler.

(Thanks to Tuorto for the link)

Other stuff we wanna link to:

- Daniel Briere is out with a concussion after Saturday's game against the Devils and Anton Volchenkov's body checks.

- Bruins defenseman Andrew Ference was suspended three games for his hit from behind on Ryan McDonough in Saturday's game against the New York Rangers.

- The Dallas Stars re-signed Alex Goligoski to a four-year contract extension reportedly worth a little more than $18 million. You go, Goose.

- Jonathan Toews is out with an upper body injury and will be missing the All Star Game.

We are not talking about this until we're ready to be rational about another favorite player getting hurt.

- Per tradition, the Bruins visited the White House and were celebrated for their win last season.

- Tim Thomas declined the invitation and released an official statement why. People were making a big deal but we couldn't care less. TimTom does what he wants, he's American.

- Alex Ovechkin was suspended three games for his charging hit on Zbynek Michalek that occured in Sunday's game between the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins. He will also be out for the ASG.

- There was no suspension for Ales Hemsky today. He was given a major penalty for kneeing in a hit that injured Brent Burns.

- Apparently the Pittsburgh Penguins are unveiling a Mario Lemieux statue in March. That will be some majestic statue.

- Patrick Sharp visitied the Chicago Public Library to read to kids.

Thanks to Jennifer and we think everyone should heed her advice...This one should come with an ovary explosion alert....yes, yes it should)

All Star News:

- Jordan Eberle, Nick Johnson and Kris Letang have been added to replace injured players Mikko Koivu (still depressing), Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Dustin Byfuglien respectively.

- Scott Hartnell has been added to the ASG roster to replace Jonathan Toews. We do not want to discuss this...at all.

- The musical performers have been named for the ASG and we are admittedly excited about seeing Drake perform. We love Jimmy in a wheelchair (Degrassi reference there, kids).

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Sixteen

2012-01-23T19:43:00.004-05:00

Hello everyone!

How are you teams doing? Crappy, okay or totally awesome thanks for asking? Our teams are doing okay, but that's what trades are for.

Anyway, official trade day is going to be on January 31st. We would like your maximum of two trades in by that date. Early is fine as well. If we don't email you back by the 2nd then we never got the email.

So, get those trades in as soon as possible!

Here are the standings for this week:

Top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Evgenia
3. The Bert and Ernies
4. Socially Awkward
5. Newark Wraparounds

Good luck to everyone and get those trades in!

Awards Monday: Week Sixteen

2012-01-23T19:29:00.005-05:00

Hottie of the Week

Andrew Shaw

He's been a sensation since arriving in Chicago after the injury bug hit the Blackhawks. And a sensation on Twitter with #ShawFacts. But we're more impressed with his five goals in ten games.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

Head 'n Shoulders

Tuomo Ruutu, a Finnish commercial actor. Who knew?

(thanks to Esbee for the link)

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

John freakin' Tavares

Seriously, this kid is on fire and we're loving it. He is on a twelve-game point streak and is scoring at will. Remind you of anyone?

Random Rangers Videos For The Evening

2012-01-22T23:53:00.001-05:00

Henrik Lundqvist Fun Facts

And the very same Swedish wonder on Martha Stewart. We had to contain our Henrik's excitement because her two favorite people were in one room.

(huge thanks to Shanny for the links)

But you know what we say about YouTube being a rabbithole of awesome videos...well, these are ones that we found because of these links.

Like Marc Staal Fun Facts...lol

And Dubinsky's suit from a few years back

stylish, sir

But we'd like to close out these proceedings with a little bit of Mr. Lundqvist dancing in Sweden after they won Gold in 2006.

Saturday's Link Day!

2012-01-21T21:13:00.002-05:00

- You have to watch the latest Cabbie Presents on TSN. He asks the Florida Panthers about nicknames.

Video.

We were almost in tears watching this. It's pretty hilarious.

- Brian Elliott signed a two-year contract extension with the St. Louis Blues and it is well deserved with how he and the team are playing this season.

- The Panthers and Hurricanes made a trade with Evgeni Dadonov and Al Jenks going to the Canes and the Panthers receiving Jonathan Matsumoto and Mattias Lindstrom.

- It seems that the Hurricanes are sellers this trading season. They traded Alexei Ponikarovsky to the New Jersey Devils for Joseph Sova and a fourth-round pick in 2012.

- Former Colorado Avalanche Brandon Yip was claimed off of waivers by the Predators.

- New Jersey Devils will be without Henrik Tallinder for six to eight weeks after suffering a blood clot in his leg.

- Francois Beauchemin signed a three-year contract extension with the Anaheim Ducks.

- You know how we feel about Dad's Trips...here is the Wild's Dad's trip.

- We found this interesting article about Joffrey Lupul's journey back to the NHL on Yahoo!Sports and thought it was a good read for everyone. We didn't even know half of the stuff that he went through and it's amazing that he's playing.

- Last night, Kris Versteeg played his first game at the United Center as a member of the Florida Panthers since being traded after they won the Stanley Cup. This is also an interesting article about his return.

- Winnipeg Jets forward Nik Antropov was fined the standard $2,500 for boarding Buffalo Sabres defenseman TJ Brennan.

- Montreal Canadiens defenseman PK Subban was also fined $2,500 for a 'dangerous trip' on Chris Kunitz in last night's game between the Penguins and the Canadiens.

- Marc Savard made an appearance in front of the media today to discuss how he is feeling and his hope to return to the Bruins soon.

- There was both good news and bad news for the Winnipeg Jets today. They got back Zach Bogosian on the blueline but then found out that Evander Kane will be out indefinitely with a concussion. It never ends.

- Grace sent us a link to vote for the Hobey Baker Award and a video of the player that she would vote for because: Justin Schultz (drafted by the Ducks), because I went to Wisconsin. But this goal is a beauty. He was a finalist last year, and should repeat at least as a finalist.

- Some news on the Crosby Concussion front: He traveled to California to see a neurological spine specialist. We can only keep our fingers crossed.

- We found this article from Chicago Now titled 'When Puck Bunny Turns Stalker' and we liked some of the points it made. Where is the line between being a fan and being a stalker? We don't think everyone is a stalker, but we've seen our fair share.

- Here and here are some trade rumors from around the league. You know how much we love gossip.

- The assistant captains for the All Star game have been announced: Henrik Lundqvist will be assisting fellow Swede Daniel Alfredsson while Joffrey Lupul will be helping Zdeno Chara picking a team.

Interesting choices. What do you think?

- The six events that will comprise the Skills Competition have been announced. It's the usual ones, nothing exciting.

- Also, the coaches have been announced for each team. For Team Chara, Claude Julien and his staff will be the coaches because they won the Cup last season. For Team Alfredsson, John Tortorella and Todd McLellan will be the big guys.

- In case you've been wondering what happened and who was at the Flyers' Wives Fashion Show, we have a few links here that will satisfy that need.

The Philly Post. Crossing Broad with videos and analysis. And this video of Lauren Pronger talking about her husband's injury and his difficult time with it.

(Another thanks to Grace for the links)

Mystery Date Friday #2

2012-01-20T18:56:00.005-05:00

Hello, today we have a couple of Canucks DILFs that we would like to take on very PG-rated dates. Hand-holding at first but we can't promise anything when we turn on the charm.

Okay, onto the dates.

-&-

Mystery Date #1

For some reason, this DILF makes us think of Saturday morning cartoons. So, he would come over and we would eat cereal in pajamas and watch morning cartoons. And we would discuss things in the cartoons we know could never physically happen but we love anyway.

Mystery Date #2

This date is going to be another childish foray into the dating world. But we think it fits. For this date, we would build a blanket fort in the living room and then set up a kid's lantern in the middle and tell each other increasingly ridiculous scary stories.

So, have you made your choice?

Will be it Mystery Date #1?

Or can't you resist Mystery Date #2?

Let us know who you get!

Is Tonight Fight Night?

2012-01-19T21:52:00.005-05:00

Games aren't even over for tonight and there are already five fights. That's already half of the games played tonight with fighting majors.

We absolutely love hockeyfights.com for having the fights up already. Love instant information.

EDIT: there was a late fight between the Kings and the Flames that we also included. That makes six fights in one night of hockey.

Here are a recap of the fights:

In the Islanders/Flyers game, Claude Giroux dropped the gloves with Dylan Reese. Hooo, now that's probably a fight.

Then the Penguins/Rangers game had Eric Tangradi and Stu Bickel try to get their fight on but it was kinda lame.

And in the Bruins/Devils game, everyone's favorite Gregory decided to put the fists up with Brad Mills.

Mr. Campbell had a Gordie Howe hat trick. Woo-hoo! (said in 'Target Lady' voice).

We go to St. Louis where the Blues and the Oilers had a fight in their game between BJ Crombeen and Ben Eager.

Then in the Sabres/Jets game, Mark Stuart fought Cody McCormick

And the heavyweight bout of the night goes to the Kings/Flames game where Kyle Clifford and Tim Jackman started throwing down.

Neglected Twitter Bromances

2012-01-18T16:26:00.009-05:00

After last week's post about the Twitter bromances that we love, we received a few emails and suggestions about who we forgot.

They were all from Sharks fans. Kind of. But we apologize for forgetting these. We really, really do.

And we just want to thank everyone for not yelling at us for forgetting quite a few awesome ones. We're sorry.

We do our best.

Anyway, here are the rest of the ones that we forgot.

-&-

Ryane Clowe(@ryaneclowe29) and Brent Burns (@Burnzie88)
"@Burnzie88 is the fourth Hanson brother. Brings a bag full of toys on the road #slapshot #puttingonthefoil #regdunlop"

"Be nice to dragons @ryaneclowe29 ! Skylanders 1- #clowe 0 .. "

and then Jim Vandermeer(@Jim_Vandermeer) gets involved
"@ryaneclowe29 @burnzie88, look at the pic I managed to get. At least he's not playing with himself #justabigkid"

(thanks to Maddie for the research)

Logan Couture(@Logancouture)-Jamie McGinn(@jamiemcginn64)-Jason Demers
(Exhibit A)

Logan Couture(@Logancouture)-Jamie McGinn(@jamiemcginn64)-Gordon Ramsay(@GordonRamsay01)
(Exhibits B & C)

Logan Couture(@Logancouture)-Jamie McGinn(@jamiemcginn64)-Food, Just In General
ridiculous photos on their Twitters of food and shit they're eating

(thanks to Mouthguard for these neglected bromances)

Viktor Stalberg(@VStalberg) and Jack Skille (@JackSkille)

Also, we found evidence of a Viktor Stalberg (@VStalberg) and Tyler Bozak (@bozie42)bromance

(thanks to Jennifer for the suggestion)

Also, does anyone think that NHL players overuse the hashtag? Like is there a necessity for three hashtagged items in one Tweet?

Just an observation.

Really Mr. Hall? Not Cool.

2012-01-17T23:03:00.003-05:00

- How this is huge news, we have no idea. But when we first heard about Taylor Hall getting cut on the forehead with a skate we were like "Oh really? What an idiot."

Here's video evidence

What a clusterfuck of players.

Then we heard that he had 30 stitches. And it was above the eye. Man, that's serious. And we felt bad for making fun of his pony-ish ways.

And now there's people saying that players need to wear helmets as soon as they hit the ice no matter when or why they're on it.

Our opinion (in case anyone cares) is this: Okay, freak accidents happen but that doesn't mean we have to blow up the system to fix a little bug. Slow your roll, pundits.

Other news that caught our eye:

- Just when the Wild were becoming something that the NHL talking heads too notice of, Mikko Koivu gets injured. He will be out for a month with a shoulder injury. That means no All-Star game which seriously blows. We're super disappointed.

- Nick Lidstrom will be up next on 'NHL 36'. We can't complain except you know it will be filled with his perfection and therefore a boring half hour. Doesn't matter, you know we will still watch it.

- Blake Wheeler was hit in the throat by a puck a Devils forward. Sounds brutal. He missed the Jets' game on Monday and could be out longer.

- More injury news: Mike Green had to have abdominal surgery and could be out longer than expected. Not good news at all.

- Ryan Suter was injured in the Predators game against the New York Islanders and did not play against the Rangers tonight. It is being called an 'upper-body injury' and the Predators do not need him to be out right now.

- The Florida Panthers will be without Ed Jovanovski for two months after sustaining a hand injury and having to undergo surgery to correct it.

- The captains for the All Star teams have been named and neither are really a surprise. Daniel Alfredsson from the Senators and Zdeno Chara from the Bruins.

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Fifteen

2012-01-16T23:52:00.000-05:00

Nothing new to really report this week. Weird that it's already fifteen weeks into the season. Doesn't seem to be real.

Anyway, keep an eye on injuries and make notes of who you need to trade for when the end of the month arrives.

Remember the rules:

two trades only
trade players in same position
email us with team name and trades

Here are the standings for this week:

Top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Evgenia
3. The Bert and Ernies
4. Socially Awkward
5. Noodles

Good lick to everyone and watch out for those injuries!

Awards Monday: Week Fifteen

2012-01-16T23:48:00.003-05:00

Hottie of the Week (this week, literally)

(oh yeah, he's Swedish)

Viktor Stalberg

Hubba hubba. Where did his scoring hands come from? We don't remember Stalberg ever being a star of the week here for his goal-scoring ability. Okay, that's mean. We still love him.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

Edmonton Oilers Skills Competition

Not a commercial but it's worth it to post it here.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

John Tavares

He scored today (doesn't count but kinda does) in yet another losing cause but kept up his nine-game point streak. If he was on another team he would he the talk of the NHL right now. He's good, scary good.

So, This Happened...

2012-01-15T14:20:00.003-05:00

We are actually too stunned to say anything borderline witty about this video.

(Thanks to Grace for the link)

- As you know, Mike Cammalleri was traded to the Calgary Flames with a prospect and draft pick for Rene Bourque and a prospect and a draft pick.

- Canadiens captain Brian Gionta had surgery on his biceps and could be out for the rest of the season. Not good news.

- An article appeared on TribLive about the Penguins and the team's desire to get a new captain and how they are not all behind him during the concussion. Well, that day the boys all came out on the ice wearing 'C's made out of stick tape on their jerseys. That's our boys.

- Biggest news was Sidney Crosby finally skating for the first time in more than a month. Yay.

- Another concussion has brought someone down, this time on the Flyers. James van Riemsdyk is out indefinitely with one. Not good news.

- Rick DiPietro will be having sports hernia surgery and he could be done for the season. What else is new?

- There are rumors of a Flyers/Leafs trade involving James van Riemsdyk and Luke Schenn. Whaaaaaaaat?

- Daniel Carcillo of the Chicago Blackhawks will be having season-ending knee surgery and just another addition to the injury list.

- Jeff Skinner made his return tonight from a concussion after more than a month on the sidelines. Yay!

- David Booth also made his return to the Canucks lineup tonight. Good for you, David Booth.

- Jamie Benn will be out for at least ten days after having an emergency appendectomy. Schniekes!

Because We All Need A Laugh

2012-01-14T13:39:00.002-05:00

The LA Kings share their worst date memories.

Carolina Hurricanes are asked what kind of tattoo they would get if given the opportunity

Name that New Guy on the Blackhawks: Mixing Cereals

A Blackhawks fan hits on reporter during the 'Shoot the Puck' in intermission

(thanks to PuckDaddy for finding the link and we could steal it)

Artem Anisimov shares fun facts about himself, lol

The Maple Leafs talk about who's hot and who's not

Nick Swardson is interviewed by the Minnesota Wild in a Wild jersey, makes us love him even more

A few Predators players get ready for GnashVegas

Canadiens players talk about which one of their teammates would make the best GMs

The NHL Winter Classic is rumored to be between the Red Wings and the Maple Leafs.

We can't wait to see Brian Burke yell about shit during 24/7. Gonna be amazing.

Mystery Date Friday - Friday the 13th Edition

2012-01-13T23:11:00.004-05:00

Remember how this shizz works, ladies? Good cause here come the dates. They are both players who wear the number thirteen which was one of the hardest restrictions we have put on ourselves when doing a date night.

Not a lot of good looking 13s.

-&-

Mystery Date #1

For this date, we think that this #13 would find some perverse joy in making you dress in all black then waiting for nightfall before taking some of those window paint markers and drawing obscene things and bad words in his native language on the cars of his teammates. After you deface quite a few cars, the two of you head to a twenty-four hour diner and then laugh about what you did.

Mystery Date #2

This date is going to be cute through and through. This #13 invites you to his house where you guys proceed to make homemade ice cream with whatever flavor you want and any combination. While the ice cream is freezing, the two of you watch some cheesy romantic comedy. After the movie, he brings out every toppping imaginable you you guys make disgustingly awesome ice cream sundaes you dub 'the kitchen sink'.

So, who is it gonna be ladies?

Is it gonna be Mystery Date #1?

Or will it be Mystery Date #2?

Let us know who you get!

2012 All Star Rosters

2012-01-12T22:31:00.007-05:00

If you haven't seen the rosters yet (you shame us if that's a yes) then here they are!

Starters

Forwards

Defensemen

Goaltenders

Rookies

While this roster has been picked by people who obviously don't know good hockey players if they hit them in the face (we're kidding), we decided to pick our own teams. The All Star teams of our hearts.

Well, the six starters at least.

Henrik
(We told her that she needed a top six but she believes in John Tortorella's old mantra 'Safe is death' and doesn't want a defense...)

James Neal

because the bitch is fabulous and can score dem goals like a pro

Patrice Bergeron

he's perfect and flawless, think of a time when he did something wrong..that's right, he hasn't

John Tavares

despite the awful team he is on, he's still an All Star

Ryan Callahan

best captain in the league (when Crosby is out, duh)

Torrey Mitchell

more for his good looks than anything else

Henrik Lundqvist

yessssssssssssssss

Noodles
(We had to tell her not to pick all defensemen but couldn't stop her when picking a goaltender)

Kris Versteeg

because he can sing the national anthems before the All Star game

Jordan Eberle/Taylor Hall

either or, they're both winners and borderline ugly but we're slightly fascinated with them

Colin Wilson

he may be an airhead but he's still a pretty good hockey player...sometimes

Ryan Whitney

get him out there on crutches or a walking boot or a walker fitted with tennis balls, whatever, just get him out on the ice

Jack Johnson

JMFJ will eff shit up on the blueline, that's for sure and we know he would bring some beaver tails back to LA for Drew Doughty

Kevin Bieksa

the ultimate Mean Girl; he would tweet at Ryan Kesler about how the ASG is such a joke (but secretly love it)

Who would be on the All Star Team of you Heart?

Let us know!

More Twitter Bromances

2012-01-11T22:19:00.000-05:00

This post has been a while in the making but we have found this link that made it a hell of a lot easier finding the players we were looking for.

It's a list of all the NHL players on Twitter. Here is the link. It's pretty complete which impresses us.

So after posting the Ryan Whitney and Jordan Eberle exchange, we received an email from Grace with suggestions for more Twitter Bromances.

This excited us to no end. So we did the research and found some tweets between these guys and ones that we found.

Mike Richards (@MRichie18) and Daniel Carcillo (@CarBombBoom13)

Daniel Carcillo (@CarBombBoom13) and Patrick Kane (@88PKane)

Cory Emmerton (@cemmer48) and Brendan Smith (@bssmith7) and Mike Commodore (@commie22)

Brandon Prust (@BrandonPrust8) and his New York Rangers teammates

Hal Gill (@Skillsy75) and PK Subban (@PKSubban1)

Joffrey Lupul (@JLupul) and Tyler Bozak (@Bozie42)

Scott Hartnell (@Hartsy19) and every Flyer on Twitter

Kevin Bieksa (@kbieksa3) and Ryan Kesler (@Ryan_Kesler)

Any Twitter bromances that we missed? Let us know!

Things To Discuss: News & Notes

2012-01-10T23:12:00.002-05:00

- This video kills us. It's about the Canadian World Juniors team and how there is a 'bright side' to losing to the Russians and their chance at gold.

- Patrick Sharp will be out at least 3-4 weeks after suffering an apparent wrist injury in the Blackhawks game against the Red Wings.

- The Columbus Blue Jackets fired head coach Scott Arniel and replaced him with Todd Richards. This is the seventh coaching change this season.

- Thanks to Tuorto for sending us this article from Puck Daddy: Kings’ Dustin Penner injures himself while eating a stack of delicious pancakes. Yes, it's actually true.

- NHLers talk about pranks.

Interesting watch.

- The coaches for the All Star Game have been set with John Tortorella from the East facing off against Scott McLellan from the West.

- Speaking of the All Star Game, the rest of the roster will be picked on Thursday. We can't wait to see who gets to go.

- JF Jacques was suspended for three games after delivering an 'illegal check to the head' of RJ Umberger.

- Phoenix Coyotes claimed Gilbert Brule off of re-entry waivers. Was anyone else as surprised as we were about this pick up?

- Reasons why Jack Johnson is better than you.

That's it for today...talk amongst yourselves.

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Fourteen

2012-01-09T16:11:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone.

Hope that your trades went through for this month. It's been tough with all of the injuries and Noodles has completely dashed all hopes of keeping on top of it for her team.

Quitter.

But there's hope for everyone else, we're sure. Hang in there until next month but if it gets too bad, we will definitely have another 'injury trade day' because it's getting a little ridiculous.

Here are the standings for this week:

Top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Evgenia
3. The Bert and Ernies
4. Socially Awkward
5. Noodles

Good luck to everyone and let us know if you have any questions!

Awards Monday: Week Fourteen

2012-01-09T15:57:00.003-05:00

Hottie of the Week

Jamie Benn

This may be a no-brainer but we thought that the NHL picked correctly this week for their number one star of the week. Every time we checked the scoresheet of Stars games, Jamie was all over it and that's hottie of the week material.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

NHL Tonight

We love this because it's almost like a name-drop of hockey players to get you to watch the 'new' show. Hell, we were gonna anyway but this isn't a bad incentive.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Shane Doan

We touched on it last night but the beetch finally got his first NHL hat trick. We were so happy for him and decided to show this video as a congratulations.

Are You Kidding Us?: Injuries and Other News

2012-01-08T19:19:00.006-05:00

We thought that after such a terrible 2011 that the league and certain teams had, the new year would be different.

We couldn't have been more wrong.

It looks like more of the same for the Pittsburgh Penguins. And don't call us quitters but we don't see a franchise high 100+ points on their way to a fourth place finish this season with all of the injuries.

Jordan Staal will be out 3-4 weeks after colliding with Mike Rupp in the Penguins game against the New York Rangers and injuring his knee.

And then James Neal broke his foot. Yes, you read that right, BROKE HIS DAMN FOOT and is out indefinitely.

Then Craig Adams re-injured his knee colliding with Brooks Orpik during practice.

WHEN WILL IT STOP?!?!?!

It's beginning to be a little ridiculous.

Other injuries include Nicklas Backstrom taking an elbow to the mouth from Rene Bourque and suffering an apparent concussion.

NOT ANOTHER ONE!

Bourque was suspended for five games. Fine.

And this is not Bourque's first suspension this season. What gives? Why is this happening right now? Who knows but it's starting to get tiring.

Let's add Backstrom to the concussion list.

Along with Ottawa Senators defenseman Chris Phillips who is day-to-day with a mild concussion after a hit in their game against the New Jersey Devils.

Another injured player is Tom Gilbert from the Edmonton Oilers. The player who hit him, Daniel Carcillo, has been suspended for seven games.

Does anyone care about safety anymore? Jeez.

Oh, and here are a few other links that depressed us:

- The Toronto Maple Leafs placed Colton Orr on waivers and from Brian Burke's comments it sounded like he did it to make a point about enforcers being an antiquated position in this day's NHL.

- John Tortorella was fined for the comments he made about the officiating after last Monday's Winter Classic game.

Fining him just made the NHL seem guilty.

- The NHLPA has killed the realignment plan that was suppsoed to happen last season. Just another bad thing on the way to a dying CBA and negotiations coming soon.

- During the Vancouver Canucks / Boston Bruins fight-fest yesterday, the referee threw Milan Lucic out for 'leaving the bench on an illegal line change' to get into the scrum happening on the ice. It was a mistake as the league later found out and the automatic game misconduct and suspension was taken away.

- In the same game, Brad Marchand submarined Sami Salo and now faces a disciplinary hearing tomorrow.

Of course. It was stupid play and he should be punished.

Like we said, does anyone care anymore?

- And can we count a trade as bad news? The Lightning traded Blair Jones to the Calgary Flames for Brendan Mikkelson.

- We received an email a few days ago from Megan about ESPN's lack of coverage of hockey during their annual memoriam of important sports figures passings in the year. We know it's been some time since that happened but it's still making us angry.

Here is Megan's email to us:
What a joke! Not one of the players who died this summer were mentioned in their Memoriam. No major mention of concussions, WNBA players made the notable new comers list, but not the reigning Calder Memorial winner Jeff Skinner or runner up Logan Couture, they mentioned the NCAA football realignment but not the NHL's, not even Bobby-Lu's "Tire-pumping" made it into the quotes of the year section, even though it lead to a riot! What is it going to take for ESPN to take their heads out of their asses and show Hockey the respect it more than deserves!

"The Worldwide Leader in Sports" neglected to cover the death of an entire hockey team in a plane crash in its year in review, but found time to feature lines from Deion Sanders' NFL induction speech. Three times. SportsCenter doesn't care about hockey beyond Sidney Crosby and the team that wins the Stanley Cup. Everyone knows that, but completely ignoring what happened in Yaroslavl, the deaths of Rick, Derek, Wade and every other hockey figure who passed away this year is disgusting. But hey, we got a 5-minute segment about how exasperated ESPN's talking heads were over Tim Tebow's winning streak. So that's something. Sorry, didn't mean to rant, but come on! How much of a joke can one company be?

Some good news?

- Everyone's starting to love the secret Swede on the Ottawa Senators: Erik Karlsson. He's becoming quite the hit.

- Esbee sent us this video after Cam Ward scored his first NHL goal. He's an adorable human being.

- Shea Weber was cleared to land and we couldn't have been happier.

He made his first game back against the Dallas Stars.

- We love when stars from other sports love hockey.

Especially when they're good looking and have a nice bromance with some of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

- Sports Illustrated had the Top 15 Underrated Hockey Players. We agree with most of these except for Pavel Datsyuk because seriously, who doesn't know that this guy exists and what he brings to a team?

- Jarome Iginla finally got his 500th goal. Good cause we couldn't take much more of NHL Tonight mentioning it after every damn game the Flames played.

- And lastly, congratulations to Shane Doan's first NHL hat trick after sixteen seasons.

Seriously, we were actually cheering for this when we saw the highlights last night. What a human and what a reaction.

We apologize for this post but we're frustrated and have been for a while. It's our way to vent.

Let us know what's bothering you. Vent away and we shall reply in the comments section.

Flyers & Rangers 24/7: Final Episode

2012-01-07T18:44:00.006-05:00

Here is the full episode:

- Let's just get this out of the way: best episode of this series and the previous one. Seriously. The pacing and additions were perfect. Everything about this was perfect.

- Ilya Bryzgalov's honestly is refreshing even if it is scary in some ways.

- Of course a huge deal is made of Talbot and Jagr returning to Pittsburgh. Whatever, we don't really care that they didn't sign with us. It happens and we wish that the media would just LET IT GO.

- Brandon Prust's funny is totally underrated. "I think you have very pretty eyes. I don't know why you don't show them off." Sean Avery does not approve.

- The Rangers video session. John Tortorella reminds us of that one teacher in high school who was a tough SOB but everyone respected him. But we don't think that teacher would have an almost meltdown when the video didn't work.

That was a scary moment for everyone. We thought Tortorella was going to bite someone's head off.

- The concussion brothers are back for the Flyers. Does anyone else think Sean Couturier's missing front teeth are so endearing?

- "Fucking spear there. Right in my fucking penis." Really, Max? What a quote.

- The Penguins/Flyers game was depressing and re-living it in the series isn't any better. It sucks when our team loses to a division rival.

- We're gonna miss seeing John Tortorella in the locker room. He has probably the best speeches and motivational words of any coach.

- LOL at the audio at the end of the Rangers/Panthers game. So many f-bombs.

- Also, the bromance between Brandon Prust and Brian Boyle is so adorable.

- Ryan Callahan's prank on Marc Staal was just cruel. But oh so funny. It looks like he's the butt of all of their jokes.

The Ginger Staal has no friends.

- Wayne Simmonds: suck it up, you are a hockey player. That being said, if it was us we would be freaking out but we're girls, not hockey players.

- The Rangers family celebrations in their hotel were awesome to see. Especially Dubinsky's grandfather, duh.

So cute.

- Flyers and Rangers practices. Lovely.

- MARC STAAL YESSSSSSSSSS. HE'S GONNA PLAY! YES!

- Liam Traynor sighting!!!

- The actual game was filmed beautifully. The different viewpoints were perfect and we liked the mic'd up portion. Especially the referees.

- Giroux asking Henrik to give him one was hysterical. We were actually cracking up when we heard that.

- Also, Giroux was intense with the chirping. Intense. He was a little SOB the whole game.

- To Brayden Schenn: "Hey we're not in the fucking World Juniors here, jumping in the glass." LOL.

- About the Rupp salute: "He says if he scores, he does the Anisimov. Shoot the goalie?"

- But when Giroux actually said "Second goal in his fucking career" about Mike Rupp we were stunned. Do you not know that Rupp scored the New Jersey Devils cup-clinching goal in 2003?

We were actually stunned when he said that.

- But it's okay because Rupp answers with the game-tying goal.

- The obscenities after Callahan and Timonen were called for penalties, LMFAO. So crazy.

- The penalty shot: HOLY DRAMA. Also filmed beautifully with the perfect music.

- Does anybody know who told the Flyers or who said for them to get off the ice? We couldn't tell and were wondering.

- Sergei Bobrovsky looked like he was on the edge of a cliff.

Poor kid.

- Mike Rupp in the Broadway hat? Yes.

- And all we have to say is BEST ENDING.

THE END!

Mystery Date Friday - A New Chapter In DNF

2012-01-06T12:54:00.005-05:00

After almost four years of Date Night Friday, we felt like we were running out of ideas and players that were suitable to date.

We tried re-inventing it but it wasn't as successful. But we're going to try it again, this time as a favorite game of ours when we were younger.

Mystery Date.

If you've never played Mystery Date, well the rules were basic. There was a Door and you had to spin the handle so many times and it would open to a date. Hopefully it would be date you wanted and not some schlub.

Well, we decided that we could do this with Date Night Friday. We can recycle players we've already used for the original Date Night Friday and put them in different date situations this time around.

The rules are simple.

Every Friday you will be presented with two dates, two completely different scenarios and then have to decide which date you would rather go on.

We can't tell if you cheat but if you do, just remember, baby Jesus doesn't like cheaters.

After you have read both dates and decided on which one, there will be a section after the dates that will have the selection.

We have a practice scenario here so let us know what you think...

Mystery Date #1

This date will revolve around going outside and making a snowman and having an impromptu snowball fight. After playing in the snow and making snow angels for a few hours, the two of you go back inside and he makes you hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows in it.

Mystery Date #2

This date involves going to the bowling alley with a case of beer. You both try to chirp the other about how good you are before bowling so he makes up new rules. The new rules involve bowling with only your non-dominant hand and see how many points the two of you can rack up while also drinking the beers.

If you pick Date #1, click here.

If Date #2 is more appealing, click here.

So, did you like this? Who did you pick?

Were the dates good and did you like the set-up?

Let us know what you think in the comments!

2012 All-Star Starters

2012-01-05T23:29:00.006-05:00

As you should know, the results are in. And Senators fans come out with a vengeance. It's their hometown team and we can see why they were so about this.

Results are here. But we separated the starters from the rest of the chaff.

The top three forwards were:

1. Daniel Alfredsson

2. Jason Spezza

3. Milan Michalek

Top 2 defensemen were:

1. Erik Karlsson

2. Dion Phaneuf

Top goaltender was:

1. Tim Thomas

Honestly, we're disappointed in Senators fans for not making all five from the Senators. We thought you could do better, kids.

We're joking. But it's cool to see a town completely embrace their home team and vote them in like this.

Also, Karlsson was the top vote-getter. Yes, Erik Karlsson who no one even heard of except Senators fans and Swedes. Until this season as he is leading all defensemen in points.

Goes to show you how powerful a pretty (Swedish) face is.

It should be interesting to see who the NHL picks as the players to complement this lineup of Senators stars.

Who do you think should be the captains and who should be chosen as participants in this affair?

Let us know in the comments.

Hockey Junkies Extreme Makeover: 2012 ASG Candidates "11th Hour" Edition

2012-01-04T18:47:00.009-05:00

As you know, the All Star Game voting ended today and our very own MouthGuard came up with this genius edition of Extreme Makeover.

Enjoy!

-&-

HOCKEY JUNKIES EXTREME MAKEOVER: 2012 ASG CANDIDATES "11th HOUR" EDITION

Just like that, the 2012 All-Star Game voting deadline is in our face. What kills me is nobody has come right out and asked why we should be expected to vote for players? What makes them worthy of playing in the All-Star Game? Most important, what have they done for me or you lately besides maybe score some goals, rack up an impressive GAA or rock the plus/minus? This is all BS, but of course. We all know the real reasons motivating fans' voting patterns. We know it has nothing to do with hockey. It has everything to do with hair, makeup and clothes because it's plastic and it's personal and it's ultimately jacked by the host city's authorities anyway. This whole process is about as transparent as a Chilean sheriff election or whoever got elected ombudsman in Chechnia.

And what's the deal with all the guys who have concussions on the ballot? They should be disqualified! If you have a concussion, you shouldn't be considered for the ASG. And stop telling us your head hurts but your hair still feels okay. We don't want to hear it! That means you, Kris Letang.

Still, you can't help but feel bad for some of these players who have been cluttering up the ballot and have only received resounding radio silence from fans. Maybe if some of these guys followed our candid, well-intentioned pointers on how to attract ASG voters, the crickets would go away and their totals would skyrocket with mere minutes to spare! Right? Here are some random candidates we noticed are sucking with the voters, with our respective 11th hour makeover suggestions. Remember players: It's a 2-way street! If you want votes, you gotta bring it! Tick tock!

Candidate: Ilya Kovalchuk
Team: New Jersey Devils
Number of Votes to Date: 43
Problem: He's overpaid, he has bad hair and his team's fugly except for Zach Parise. Also, he's not on the Senators.

11th Hour Solution: Buy us some Lambos and maybe we'll vote for ya, UpChuck.

Candidate: Corey Perry
Team: Anaheim Ducks
Number of Votes to Date: 12
Problem: He's overpaid, he has bad hair and his team's fugly except for George Parros, Jonas Hiller and Booby Ryan. They should play for the Senators.

11th Hour Solution: Katy Perry's on the market now, so he should totally date her now. She wouldn't have to change her name if they got married. He needs a hot girlfriend, even though he's gross and nobody likes him. He should also consider hanging out more with this blue guy, who's Got It Goin' On.

Candidate: Jaromir Jagr
Team: Philadelphia Flyers
Number of Votes to Date: 666
Problem: WTF who IS this guy? We don't know who he is. Somebody told us he's super old, he dyes his hair black and he's used to be an ombudsman back in Chechnia. Ew. We also heard about some goal "salute" controversy. Let's just say that for the record, we NEVER EVER have a problem with players giving us the full salute. But maybe we're not talking about the same thing?

11th Hour Solution: Okay just saw a picture of him and he looks awful in orange. So stop wearing orange. He also looks like Satan and owns a pitchfork. Hmmmm... Maybe try covering up his devil horns and hanging out with Kris Letang? He looks great in everything.

Candidates: Marian Hossa & Marian Gaborik
Teams: Chicago Blackhawks & New York Rangers
Number of Votes to Date: 665 and 667
Problem: We would like these guys a lot better if they played for the Senators and weren't named "Marian." What's up with that? It's so freaking confusing. Also, they're ugly and they have bad hair.

11th Hour Solution: Change your hair (Note to Hossa: We approve of this pigtail look in the holiday video), change your names and ask to be traded to the Senators.

Candidate: Patrick Marleau
Team: San Jose Sharks
Number of Votes to Date: 1,788
Problem: Another player we have never heard of. Amazing how these guys get put on the ballot. All we know about him is he has a bitchin' monobrow, he skates really fast and Dan Boyle says he's awesome.

11th Hour Solution: You know it's bad when Dan Boyle is telling people you're awesome. 'Cause that means you're not. Ask Doug Murray if he'll let you tag along for his next brow waxing.

Candidate: Nicklas Backstrom
Team: Washington CapiTOOLS
Number of Votes to Date: 69
Problem: You were super cute in 24/7 last year and then you dropped off the face of the planet, Nicky. Hasn't been scoring since he signed that big contract extension. Still gets lost in a crowd, mistaken for a woman... He would fit right in if he was traded to Ottawa.

11th Hour Solution: Bake us some lemon bars in that chef-calibre kitchen of yours, and stop allowing O-Felch to crash your parties/steal your dates. You're almost as pwetty as Erik Karlsson so you've still got a real shot at this...

Candidates: Eric Staal & Marc Staal
Teams: Carolina Hurricanes & New York Rangers
Number of Votes to Date: 0 votes each.
Problem: Sibling rivalry and ensuing brotherly guilt is cancelling out the votes for each of these guys. Marc has been sidelined by a concussion because of a nasty hit from Eric. This means that Marc hasn't been in the public eye and Eric - understandably not himself - has had the worst season of his career to date so nobody wants to see him. What a mess.

11th Hour Solution: Hug it out publicly, with Henry and Linda. 99% of your fanbase consists of horny teenaged girls. Seriously. Just do this.

Candidate: Ryan Suter
Team: Nashville Predators
Number of Votes to Date: 9,822
Problem: WTF who IS this guy? We don't know who he is. Don't all the Sutters play for Carolina?

11th Hour Solution: Consider posing naked in a tasteful, softcore porn pictorial, or ask an anonymous buddy to leak revealing photos of you to 25stanley.com and dlisted from your wild 'n wooly Wisco days. Evidently, men need reassurance that you are a goddamn stud out there, and women will swoon at the sight of a naked cheesehead with the kind of USA hockey pedigree most players can only dream of. It's a cheesy solution, but it's an effective solution. Oh, and ask to be traded to Ottawa.

Candidate: PK Subban
Team: Montreal Canadiens
Number of Votes to Date: 5,365
Problem: He's hyperactive, cocky and he has bad taste in clothes. Having initials for your name also suggests you're like a boy band guy or whatever and he's totally NOT boy band. It doesn't work.

11th Hour Solution: Change your name to PF Chang's, because we love Chinese mall cuisine and stop wearing those turtlenecks.

Candidate: Dustin Byfuglien
Team: Winnipeg Jets
Number of Votes to Date: 1 (Kaner voted for him)
Problem: Are you sure he's on the Jets? We're confused. We thought he was on the Wild. No wait. That's where he was arrested. ??? Does HE even know what team he's on today? He seems confused, unhappy, way out of shape and just not into this whole ASG thing.

11th Hour Solution: Do Weight Watchers with Charles Barkley and get put on waivers so the Hawks will pick you up again. You should also smile more, Buffy. Stop being so sad.

Candidate: Roberto Luongo
Team: Vancouver Canucks
Number of Votes to Date: However large or small the Luongo family is at the moment. That's how many votes he's got so far. Those are the only people who voted for him.
Problem: Try Googling the following words, or any creative combination thereof: "Vancouver", "Canucks", "Playoffs", "Luongo", "Jinx", "Disappointment", "Overhyped", "Puzzling", "Flawed", "Goaltending", "Issues", "Bugeyes" "Problems", etc. etc. etc.

11th Hour Solution: Put on bigger pads, use more hair gel and don't do any - repeat, ANY - pre- or post-game interviews. Oh, and do Weight Watchers with Charles Barkley.

Candidate: Ilya Bryzgalov
Team: Philadelphia Flyers
Number of Votes to Date: 12,901
Problem: He scares fans as much as he attracts them. And people are assuming that because he's been on 24/7 every week, he must be raking in the votes from all that HBO facetime. Au contraire!

11th Hour Solution: He needs to turn up the wacky even more. Schedule impromptu press conferences behind Lavvy & Holmgren's backs. Invite Flyers fans to Pat's AND Geno's for comp cheesesteaks. Jam out with Qwestlove on Jimmy Fallon.

Candidate: Henrik Lundqvist
Team: New York Rangers
Number of Votes to Date: He's THIS CLOSE to winning people! THIS CLOSE! C'MOOONNNNN!!!!!!!
Problem: Shut up. There IS no problem. This man is perfection personified.

11th Hour Solution: An Act of Awesome in the way of a power grid meltdown only affecting the greater Boston metropolitan area needs to occur between now and end-of-voting. Bruins fans must be prevented from voting for Tim Thomas any more. He has enough votes, already. They're just jealous of the King. Timmy's cool, but Henrik is King.

Alright players, get to work! If you want the votes, you gotta get busy and start making yourselves over before the clock runs out and voting halts! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2....

So Much Going On: Injuries and Other News

2012-01-03T21:15:00.002-05:00

We've been busy with real life lately and we know that's no excuse for being slackers for this blog but we're trying.

Anyway, here are the links to news and videos that we've been saving for a while now. Along with our comments, duh.

-&-

Injuries

- Phoenix Coyotes goaltender Mike Smith was put on injured reserve with a strained groin.

- Mathieu Perrault was taken to the hospital after his stick was lodged in the boards and then stabbed him in the midsection. Sounds nasty and like it hurt a lot, we're cringing just writing this.

- Nashville Predators captain Shea Weber is out with a concussion after getting rocked in their game against the Dallas Stars. He is now practicing with the team and we're excited even if it is in a yellow jersey.

- The Kings are calling Simon Gagne's injury an 'upper-body injury' but everyone is speculating that it is actually a concussion which we can see.

- And no news on the Sidney Crosby front unfortunately. He is still experiencing symptoms. Asshat.

- Now Colorado Avalanche forward Matt Duchene is out with a knee injury. We are going to kill our son for getting hurt. This is NOT okay.

- Jaromir Jagr, Philadelphia Flyers forward, will be out at least 7-10 days with a groin injury. Not good news if you're a Flyers fan.

- And lastly for injuries, Edmonton Oilers super-rookie Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is out indefinitely after suffering a shoulder injury.

Detention

- Blues defenseman Ian Cole was suspended for three games after his hit on Detroit's Justin Abdelkader.

- Montreal Canadiens teammates PK Subban and Tomas Plekanec apparently came to blows in practice the other day. Frustrations boiling over, finally.

- Rangers defenseman Michael Del Zotto and Panthers forward Tomas Kopecky were both fined $2,500 each after an incident that happened in the last minute of the Rangers/Panthers game the other night.

- Raffi Torres from the Phoenix Coyotes was fined $2,500 for elbowing Avalanche defenseman Jan Hejda in a game the other night.

- And there's an entire investigation going on in the NHL right now about Krys Barch, Panthers forward, apparently using a racial slur about Canadiens defenseman PK Subban. Craziness has been going on here.

- Daniel Carcillo, forward for the Chicago Blackhawks, will have a hearing with Shanabannnnn after his hit on Oilers defenseman Tom Gilbert that happened last night.

Miscellaneous

- TSN has the bright spots and surprises from the first half of the 2011/2012 season.

- Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson had his contract extended by his BFF and General Manager Brian Burke.

- The next installment of 'NHL 36' will feature Boston Bruins most underrated player Patrice Bergeron. Yay! It will debut tomorrow on NBC Sports channel or whatever it is called.

- Sean Avery was put on waivers by the New York Rangers...again. Jeez, son.

- There has been a trade between the Leafs and the Ducks with Luca Caputi going from the Leafs to the Ducks for Nicolas Deschamps.

Stuff we found funny

- A new commercial from Honda and the NHL

- Canadian Junior players tell their New Year resolutions

- Jacob Biron, Martin's son, interviews Derek Stepan and it's cute

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Thirteen

2012-01-02T23:59:00.001-05:00

There isn't much to say besides, get your trades in! We extended the deadline to Wednesday January 4th because we're been really busy with life things and the blog has been lacking the past month.

So, if you need a trade and haven't sent it in yet then please get them in by January 4th. Thanks.

Here are the standings for this past week.

Top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Bert and Ernies
3. Socially Awkward
4. Noodles
5. Evgenia

Doesn't look like there have been many changes in the top five but certain players are starting to heat up and be better so keep an eye out for those that have a better second half than a beginning.

Good luck to everyone and we look forward to trades!

Awards Monday: Week Thirteen

2012-01-02T23:54:00.005-05:00

Hottie of the Week

Steven Stamkos

This has been one of the easiest choices we've made in a while. He has had a dominate week and weekend and we hate to admit it but he's a pretty good goal-scorer.

(Also, we miss this hair-do.)

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

Fresh Wave Natural Odor Eliminator with the Chicago Blackhawks

Try not to pee your pants laughing. We did.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Peter Laviolette and John Tortorella

They have been putting up with the cameras from HBO and have not killed themselves, each other or their team from the frustration. We know it's been difficult for them but they've been handling it with surprising decorum.

Actually, we're disappointed that we haven't seen a blow-up from either coach. We've seen minor ones but not the big ones that get them ejected from games. Although Laviolette was close to it during the Flyers/Canadiens game from a few nights back.

Winter Classic 2012 Aftermath

2012-01-02T15:11:00.009-05:00

We honestly did not care who won, because well, it's like damned if we do and damned if we don't as Penguins fans.

Sounds lame but we just wanted a good game. And thankfully that's what we got.

It was fast and hard-hitting and had quite a few goals. The game was also exciting with the penalty shot and the goals back and forth.

Our favorite parts of the game are easy enough to figure out:

- Dan Girardi's roll call

very, um, involved we have to say and now we have new nicknames for a few of the boys...Ryan 'always do it the right way' Callahan.

- the anthems were very moving and we couldn't stop staring at the beautiful boys in their pretty uniforms...we're girls, forgive us

- Brayden Schenn's first NHL goal scored at the fifth Winter Classic?

Really? Some people are just lucky.

- Then Claude Giroux scored.

And you should know how we feel about this little ginger snap so when he scored, we celebrated with a shot of wine.

- The hitting. This was an intense game between 'bitter rivals' as everyone keeps reminding us but is was true. You could feel the animosity and hatred between the two teams.

- Mike Rupp.

He may not be a Penguin anymore but that doesn't mean we don't love him because we really do. It's sad but we can't help how much we heart his stupid face.

- Two goals from Rupp. Yes, sweet baby J, that's what we like to see.

It was like he channeled Sidney 'big-time goal scorer' Crosby and went out there and took over the game.

- And who got the game-winner? Oh, Brad Richards. Of course he did!

What a goal.

- The last five minutes were edge of your seat intense. It was really good hockey and exciting.

- The Briere penalty shot.

We were definitely biting our nails.

- Henrik Lundqvist's heroics. What a goaltender. What a human.

- This was definitely one of the best Winter Classic games that we have seen and we loved watching every minute of it.

Flyers & Rangers: Winter Classic Practice

2012-01-01T14:00:00.006-05:00

Here are a few photos we found from the practices from this afternoon.

Flyers

Rangers

Silver Fox: Win A Date With An Oldster Holiday Edition #9

2011-12-31T13:11:00.014-05:00

SILVER FOX: DATE WITH AN OLDSTER

PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD WITH CAP'N KIRK

-&-

NAME:

"Captain" Kirk Muller

PREGAME CONFESSION/FULL DISCLOSURE

Okay people. I am neither going to mince words here, nor am I going to play games. This entire exercise is a shameless, poorly disguised excuse to celebrate one of the 12 newbie head coaches who have just been hired by various craptacular franchises over the past two weeks. Why single out Coach Kirk, you ask? What makes him more interesting than the other newbie coaches? You'll find out soon enough. Let's just say that some Canes fans have only recently discovered that their newly-minted head coach is absurdly dashing, especially when he sports earbuds. For some reason, those same fans admit to being at a loss as to "what to do" with their new head coach. I grew up in Quebec and remember the day Muller was drafted. As such, I know exactly what to do with him. Fear not Canes fans! Read on for some insight into what makes Cap'n Kirk tick, and how he can effortlessly conceive an unforgettable date as easily as he draws up deft power plays on his trusty dry erase board.

CURRENT POSITION

Officially: Head Coach of the Carolina Hurricanes. Earbud enthusiast. Headset addict. A very, very sensual man.

Unofficially: Fickle, fastidious Grumplestilskin. Secretly always wants to be somewhere other than where he currently is (uh. oh.). Exotic fish enthusiast. Foot fetishist.

FORMER POSITION

Officially: Flashy left winger for the New Jersey Devils, Montreal Canadiens and New York Islanders. Won the Stanley Cup with the Habs. Was one third of the "Grumpy Old Men" line with the Devils.

Unofficially: Whiny fault-finder. Sulked when he got traded to the Isles and didn't report for work (tsk tsk). Goes by the monicker of "Mud" in towns called Milwaukee, Montreal, New Jersey and Guelph.

WHY HE'S AMAZING

Muller is part of that charming, piss-n-vinegar X'er generation of hockey HOF'ers to be. As such, his specific HOF qualifications are a lot tougher to quantify if you're going by the usual boring HOF barometer the cottonheaded geezers use to determine whether or not a player is "worthy." He's obviously not a Gretzky (and thank freaking goodness for that) but I mean that doesn't mean he's not worthy and it might even mean he's EXTRA amazing you bitches, you. He had a laudable career and did some good stuff. But mostly: He's a fucking BADASS. And you'll just have to take my word for it. Or Wiki him for boring stats. Just remember that back in the day, Muller had the balls to fight Paul Coffey in what can only be described as the most hockey has ever had in common with mud wrestling:

WHY HE'S (STILL) SEXY AS HELL
See the above. He's a fucking BADASS. He and Paul Coffey fought each other naked but for their sweaters. What more could you possibly want?! Muller gives back to wherever community it is where he's living right now. Wherever that might be or whatever. Real estate - who needs THAT, right?! Dresses perfect every night. Rocks hairband metal earbuds like NOBODY ELSE in the NHL and I mean NOBODY. PROOF:

WHAT YOU WOULD DO ON A DATE

This is not your average, vanilla "date with a hockey player" let alone a Date With An Oldster. Cap'n Kirk does not "date", okay?! Dating is purely for amateurs. Tonight, we're gonna kick it old school, and kick it extra special 'cause it's the holidays. Tonight, Cap'n Kirk is gonna go on an old-fashioned "gang-bang" type of borderline orgy date. 'Cause it's a TEAM EFFORT, after all, right?! RIGHT!!!!

Consider this the Date Of All Dates, Hockey Junkies. Oh yes. First, he comments like so for DNF: "STFU. HERE I COME, BITCHES." That's your clue that he's for serial. N&H consider admin deleting his comment because it's so Straight Outta Compton, but thankfully they get distracted when Josh Gorges tweets them obscene pictures of himself wearing a halter, a mini and sequined thigh-highs outside the Harvey's on the rue Saint-Laurent.

Anyway - back to Kirk. He shows up at your door. He's ready, willing and able to collect the following SCALDING & NOT-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME-PLAYERS we all know too well and chide/celebrate with regularity:

NOODLES:

HENRIK:

ESBEE:

SHANNY:

JENNIFER:

GRACE:

SCARLETT:

and, last and most definitively least,

MOUTHGUARD:

The Cap'n is staring in awe and horror at his female (?) companions. "Who ARE these beeotches," he asks himself, and "what freaking planet do they hail from, eh?" But whatfuckingever people. He decides this is going to be the Best Date Ever and let's just get on with it.

"Good evening, ladies! My name is Cap'n Kirk, and it is my honor and pleasure to treat you all to a Power Peppermint Pedicure just in time for the holidays! (Esbee squeals. Scarlett gasps. Jennifer has her doubts.)

Muller walks his girls five blocks to his favorite nail salon, Kenny J's, where Ken Jong-Il (Kim Jong's half-brother) escorts the Hockey Junkies to their foot tubs and plush massage chairs. "Please make yourselves comfortable and pick out your color with our newest nail technician, Jeff Skinner!!!"

Esbee faints and has to be revived with an potent combination of pepper spray and acrylic top coat. Noodles can't believe it, and asks Skin WTF. "Well, Noodles, I don't blame you guys for wondering what's up..." (Squeezing tubes of peppermint extract and dropping delicate peppermint leaves into the foot tubs.) "But the reality is, with the epidemic of concussions plaguing the new NHL at the moment, we gotta keep our options open as players y'know? I have no idea how long I'll be unable to play, so in the meantime I gotta keep the cash flow situation under control. My agent suggested I take some accelerated nail tech classes at Barbazon so here I am. I'm really into the whole airbrush scene. I've met a lot of interesting characters, and I feel like I'm really coming into my own as an artist..."

Kirk agrees, adding, "As an added bonus, the turpentine and formaldehide vapors have done wonders for his headaches, right Skin?!"

"For sure, Coach!" Skin agrees, turning his attention to the newly-revived Esbee. "May I suggest 'I'm Not Really A Waitress' or 'A Oui Bit of Red' for you, Miss Esbee?"

(Turning to MouthGuard.) "As for you, Miss MouthGuard Ma'am, I think 'Quarter Of A Cent-Cherry' has your name written all over it. Don't you?" Everybody dies laughing. Except MouthGuard.

"Alright everybody! How about those Power Peppermint Pedicures, eh?" Kirk is super excited. "This is truly our lucky day, ladies! Ken Jong-Il's salon is one of only a handful in America that offers the ever-popular 'fish exfoliation pre-treatment.' Check out these cute little doctor fishies!" (Shows the HJ ladies little fishbowls of hungry carp.) "These guys are going to nibble on your feet prior to the peppermint!"

Jennifer and Shanny are beyond grossed out. "Are you kidding us? Is this even legal in America?" Jennifer inquires. "I can't see Marian Hossa thinking this is cool, although Stan Bowman would probably be way into it..."

"That's cause Bowman's a crackpipe-smoking 'ho, Jennifer!" says Kirk. "You should try hanging out with his Dad. Or Patrick Sharp's family.

But I digress... You are obviously a very perceptive woman and I appreciate that. But right now, you should consider dipping your toes in your foot tub and allowing these delightful little doctor fish to chomp away at your dead skin."

"This is for sure outlawed in Texas!" affirms Shanny. "No way would Burrito, Loui or Benn be down with fishies eating their feet at a nail salon. That's just wrong!"

Perfectly on cue, Mickey Rourke and Nick Nolte barge into the salon looking for Ken Jong-Il. "'Doctor Fish'?" asks Rourke. "Did somebody say 'doctor fish'?! I sure hope so 'cause I saw an ad for one of them in the back of Asian Fever and I've been meaning to try them out... If you're all out of doctor fish, maybe Doctor Love can do the trick!!!" (Rourke and Nolte chuckle.) Scarlett gasps as the two inebriated geezers stagger around the premises with a cooler looking for trouble. "Henrik, look!" she says. "It's USA Hockey Hall of Fame inductees, Chris Chelios and Gary Suter!" O-kay. My bad. Guess it's not Rourke and Nolte after all.

Cap'n Kirk is not amused. "Ayyyyy, man!" says Chelios, putting his arm around the Canes coach. "Long time no see! Guess the whole HOF sugar hasn't worked out for ya yet, huh buddy?"

Before Kirk can say anything, Gary Suter grabs Chelios' chin. "I don't like yer tone, son. Be nice to Mr. Muller!"

He kicked some serious ass back when, and that's righteous by me. I say instead of picking fights, we should all play nice and oblige these lovely ladies accordingly!" (Slinks over to MouthGuard, who is still having trouble deciding on her colors.)

"Hello, my lovely Cheesy Chili Cheezs..." Suter begins. "May I suggest 'And This Little Piggy' for your toes and 'Brand New Skates' for your fingers, my little Wisco-bred, casaba-meloned, Canadian-raised pixie?"

"Thank you, Sir, but I prefer subtler shades for my hands." (Pointing at his chest.) What's that bulky mass in your jacket?"

"Oh THAT. Thanks for reminding me!" Gary motions for Chelios to come over. "Dude, check this out!" (Pulls a murky jar out of jacket.)

"Look what my buddy Elmer smuggled back from the Amazon! We go ice fishing all the time up in Superior, but we never caught anything like this!" Chelios squints at the jar, trying to see. Ever-true to her Flyers, Grace calls it like she sees it. "You guys are SO DEAD for this! Do you have any idea how illegal it is to smuggle endangered, continent-specific species out of their native habitat? Just ask Jaromir Jagr or Bryz what that feels like. Do you really think walking around with a jar of PIRANHAS is gonna fly?! Who DOES that?"

Kirk agrees, but he wants to know more. "Why would you carry such deadly cargo around in your jacket, Gary? Do you really think this is a good idea? What if the Department of Player Safety found out?"

"Dude, full disclosure!" Gary explains. "I have been WASTED for the past two weeks 'cause of this whole USA Hockey HOF deal! I readily admit that I have no idea what day it is, let alone what city I'm in or what team my nephew may or may not be playing for!" (Looking at the piranhas.) I kinda remember Elmer giving me this jar, but I don't think I realized what was in it until I was brushing my teeth one morning and I thought some of these little guys were brushing their little teeth with me. It's so weird to see fish with teeth!" (Kirk's comely dates look at each with wonderment and alarm.)

Chelios has a brilliant idea. "I know! Let's dump them into one of these tubs to see what happens! Or maybe the cooler! Let's have a race, and see which fish eat away our flesh fastest!"

Ken Jong-Il and Kirk think this is the worst idea ever. Gary figures what the hell. Before anything more can be said or done, Chelios grabs the piranha jar and pours them into a tub Skin is prepping for Esbee, making sure the water temperature is just right. The fish tear into Skin's hand like it's a truffle kobe burger. Esbee screams, and Kirk, Noodles and Henrik swat at the fish with back scratchers without success.

Gary takes immediate action. "I'll teach you little Brazilian toe-eaters a lesson! I'll show you who's boss!" He pours a 6-pack of Red Bull into the bowl. Chelios follows his lead, and drops Jager shots into same.

As if by magic, the piranhas stop chewing and pass out giggling, floating on top like bloated blowfish. Behold: The JagerBomb Pedi.

Ken Jong -Il scribbles down the recipe. Kirk puts Neosporin on Skin's hand and gives him some Robitussin. Gary and Chelios high-five each other and hug, helping themselves to Skin's Robitussin. Everybody breathes a sigh of relief. Kirk's dates bliss out to Adele and their Power Peppermint Pedis. Everything is suddenly quiet. The World Is Right.

Until Gary Roberts and Brendan Brendan Brendan pull up front and spoil it all. Roberts rips into Kirk and Ken. "Carp exfoliations are repugnant and have been illegal in North America for the past four years, people! Kirk, what the hell?! You of all people?!"

Kirk is forlorn. Shanahan picks it up from there. "Really, Kirk? The foot thing again? You should know better, buddy. Freaking gnarly. The Department of Player Safety has no choice but to suspend Ken Jong-Il's establishment for a week pending re-certification and a hygiene inspection conducted by the Department of Health..."

Shanny pleads with Shanahan to have mercy on everybody's favorite new coach. "Shanny - if I may call you that - all we ask is that you hold off on releasing the incriminating video of what just happened! Please! The Canes' reputation depends on this discretion, and we wouldn't want anybody getting the wrong impression from all this. (Pointing at Chelios and Suter.) You have to admit that it was all started by THOSE TWO. They just couldn't restrain themselves, could they? Trouble follows them wherever they go!"

Jennifer: "PERVERTS!"

Henrik: "CRETINS!"

Noodles: "INGRATES!"

Scarlett: "WEIRDOS!"

Esbee: "RUFFIANS!"

Grace: "THUGS!"

MouthGuard: "STUDS!"

Just look at how an awesome date went horribly, horribly wrong in a heartbeat. Don't let trouble and bad coaching plays follow you wherever you go in 2012, HJ readers. Do yourselves a favor and call Kenny J's, set your sweet asses up for a Power Peppermint Pedi and for crying out loud, put your best foot forward for a change. Your ever-faithful MG.

Date Night Friday: Ryane Clowe

2011-12-30T23:17:00.002-05:00

In honor of New Year's Eve coming up we figured that this was as good a time as any to get this Newfie dated by us.

And we like Mouthguard's idea for this date so we're going with that. It's gonna be an intense ride that's for sure.

-&-

What's up, ladies? I am Ryane Clowe, with an 'e' so get it right.

This date will start out with me picking you up in my monster truck because that's how I roll, literally.

We go to my favorite pub and get a nice pub meal.

It's greasy and messy and delicious. We wash it all down with beer.

And more beer.

And after two hours, we're drunk as all hell. But it's okay because I can handle my alcohol and obviously so can you. That's why we're dating.

We go to the next bar, next door and just drink even more. We play darts and laugh and cause a scene.

It seems that one dude is unhappy with our raucous behavior and wants 'to go' with me.

So we double-team fight this guy and then have to leave the bar in a hurry.

Instead of going home, we go to the bar down the street and then destroy shit there. Another dude doesn't like the look of me and starts another fight.

This time I fight alone and you egg me on in the background. It's perfect.

After this bar and fight, we finally call it quits. I think I'm borderline blackout and you're getting blurrier by the minute.

At your house, I walk you to your door and as you're unlocking the door I do 'the lean' and give you the best puppy dog eyes I can make while drunk.

-&-

Well, do you let Mr. Clowe in?

Did you have fun on this date? Was it something you would do again?

As usual, let us know!

Flyers & Rangers 24/7: Third Episode

2011-12-29T23:13:00.002-05:00

This was probably the best episode of so far. There was so much that we liked and thought was worth writing down.

Here is the full episode.

- Episode starts out with Peter Laviolette giving his intermission speech to the team during the Colorado Avalanche game.

- That was also the perfect shootout song, 'On the Water' by The Walkmen.

- The conversation between Laviolette and Giroux was hysterical, especially when Coach says, "Are you kidding me?" and he doesn't sound like he's laughing.

- Rangers family skate! Mike Rupp has the cutest kids. And Landon Girardi on skates was the funniest thing, as are the skates he wore.

- Then Brad Richards' Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

One thing we want to say about it, WTF. Callahan definitely had the best sweater.

- The slow motion of goals is the best part of this series sometimes. When you can see the play happening, it's pretty neat.

- Claude Giroux in Dallas, that suit, shut up.

- Also, what a game he had. Despite the first shift and goal against.

- Giroux's apartment is like concussion-central for rookies Brayden Schenn and Sean Couturier.

- The exchange between Steve Ott and Claude Giroux was weird. Giroux didn't seem like he was saying anything bad but who knows?

- Marian Gaborik buying a Christmas tree and carrying it to his place was weird but also very funny.

He was determined to get one.

- Flyers in New York - Coaches eat at a restaurant and the players do mysterious things in the city.

- Brandon Dubinsky: good for every fifteen games.

- Flyers vs Rangers game. Intense. We love how they filmed it and how they built up the tension and showed both coaches behind the benches. It was intense and they filmed it perfectly.

- Brad Richards vs Tom Sestito, lol. "It's fantasy camp for you." LOL.

- Also, Ryan Callahan shows why he's the captain with his questioning of that play during the first intermission. And his goal. What a human.

- What a game.

- Scott Hartnell has the best bachelor pad EVER. We are so jealous. What a place to spend Christmas with all of those games and toys. Awesome place.

- The Ilya Bryzgalov Christmas...weird. And what a strange family but still cute. The dog stealing the food was the best part.

- We want to be a part of the Boyle family. What a happy and funny and adorable family they have. Seemed like such a great and similar-looking family. They're so great.

- The End.

A Couple Of Guys I've Never Heard Of

2011-12-28T23:05:00.003-05:00

If you've ever wanted to know what it's like when we pull hockey cards that we get excited about from a pack, this is it.

Worst acting ever from all of them but it's still really funny.

And we know it's late but here is TSN's annual 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' with famous Canadians.

Link.

Enjoy!

2011 World Juniors: Day One

2011-12-27T13:59:00.003-05:00

On a beautiful Boxing Day, four games were played. Of course Canada and the United States took no prisoners in drubbings of Finland and Denmark.

Canada beat Finland 8-1 with a hat trick from Mark Stone and almost everyone getting in on the action. Like every Canada game.

Only bad thing was that Devante Smith-Pelly blocked a shot and broke his left foot. Not good news but it does give other players an opportunity to show off their goodies. Or something like that.

The US squad beat Denmark 11-3 which is a lot of goals even for these monster teams.

They also got some help from a hat trick by Charlie Coyle and three assists from captain Jason Zucker.

Sweden beat Latvia 9 to 4.

There were four goals from Max Friberg and two from Mika Zibanejad. The firepower that Sweden has cannot be forgotten. Yes, Canada and the US have the names but Sweden has the goal-scorers too.

The fourth game last night was between Russia and Switzerland.

The final score was 3-0 with Russian goaltender Andrei Vasilevski getting the shutout.

Looks like no upsets so far but it's still a young tournament.

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Twelve

2011-12-26T15:21:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone.

With the two days off for Christmas the standings didn't have much improvement or change.

Also, the teams seem pretty stable right now with the trades taking effect and then players settling in for the long haul. Or something like that.

Here are the results for last week:

Top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Bert and Ernies
3. Noodles
4. Socially Awkward
5. Evgenia

Good luck to everyone and hope to see some movement soon from everyone else. Let's make this as exciting as possible!

Awards Monday: Week Twelve

2011-12-26T12:09:00.000-05:00

Hottie of the Week

Ilya Bryzgalov

Why you ask? Well, not only are the Flyers tops in the Eastern Conference and Bryzgalov is a huge part of it but he is also a huge star in the 24/7 series.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

Foot Locker

"I'm lucky to be from this family" gets us every time.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Dan Craig

His job is just beginning and it's gonna be a hard one. For some reason though we do believe that it will be a lot easier this season than it was for him last season with the Penguins and Capitals.

Top Ten: All We Want For Christmas

2011-12-25T23:28:00.007-05:00

It's Christmas!

How were your holidays this weekend?

Did you get everything you wanted? We sort of did. But if we were truly getting everything we wanted then this would be our top ten.

Also, what would you like for Christmas? Let us know in the comments.

Top Ten: All We Want For Christmas

10. a very exciting and enthralling Winter Classic game between the Rangers and the Flyers

09. a Reebok O-Stick 8.0.8 Grip Sr. Composite Hockey Stick (said in the Ralphie voice)

08. a Bleacher Creature...do not judge us, you know you want one

07. an NHL-themed Pillow Pet

06. a shopping spree in the NHL Store in New York City

05. NHL Guess Who? and NHL Clue (yes, we made them ourselves)

04. a Twitter account for Pavel Datsyuk

03. for Santa to make our adoption of Joey the Junior Reporter official

02. a healthy roster for every team, especially the ones plagued with concussions

01. a living, breathing hockey player under our tree, DUH

(This list is only for fun, we do not condone abduction or the use of love potions to get a hockey player under the Christmas tree or mistletoe. There is a line that even we do not cross.)

(Duh.)

Flyers & Rangers 24/7: Second Episode

2011-12-24T22:28:00.001-05:00

(This is a little later than we planned but hey, it happens.)

Here is the full episode courtesy of YouTube.

- Of course the episode starts out with Henrik Lundqvist having 'band practice' with a former tennis pro.

And of course this episode starts out with our Henrik passing out after seeing that.

- And then they show Dan Girardi's baby who is a chubby bundle of happiness.

Of course our ovaries don't last after that.

- We said it in the last recap but the Flyers rookies are our favorite part of this series. When they have camera time, they're adorable.

When they were talking about playing with Jagr and playing against him with Sega Genesis, we were dying laughing.

- And of course Ilya Bruzgalov stole the limelight again. He was ostracized by his teammates and Jagr practically bust a nut getting away from him at the table. Then he goes and compares his husky to a hot blonde girl. We have three letters for his antics, W-T-F.

- MARC STAAL SIGHTING. Or as we refer to him, THE STAAL BOY!

- Brandon Prust and Brian Boyle are completely co-dependent on each other. It is quite adorable when Boyle asks Prust for help in what shirt he should wear before their game against the Blues.

- On that note, John Tortorella's blow up during the Blues game was AMAZING!!! That's what we're been waiting for for an episode and a half.

- Then, then we get treated to Peter Laviolette's blow-up in Montreal. He gave us a new catchphrase when something doesn't go our way, 'TYPICAL MONTREAL.' The way he yells scares us a little. He's almost as intense as Tortorella.

- It was also nice to see Mike Rupp again.

We love when he starts cursing during game-play.

- The entire story about Liam and John Tortorella made us tear up a little. Actually, we teared up a lot. To care about a team that much and to have someone like John Tortorella care about you that much, well, that's special. It was a beautiful story and we loved that they included it into the episode.

The cynical side of us wants to think that they purposely did that so that John Tortorella would look human but we really don't think so. It seemed like a genuine story, with Tortorella and Liam texting each other about the team and all that.

- The exchange between Claude Giroux when he was texting on the phone and Matt Carle was a little strange.

"Flavor of the month?"

Claude looking adorably clueless, thinking he's referring to who he is texting.

"Concussions. It's what everyone wants for Christmas, I guess. Hopefully I don't get one from Santa Claus."

Ohhhhhhhh!

- Does it seem like Danny Briere needs someone else to help raise his kids? Is every francophone Flyer kid gonna live with him at some point? Doesn't look like Sean Couturier seems to mind though.

- One of the best lines was from Mike Rupp - "You won't get up if I hit you late. You know it too."

- The rest of the episode was a blur of the Flyers and Bruins game and the Rangers/Coyotes game. With Sean Couturier getting beaned in the head with a puck which looked nasty. And Brad Richards scoring with .01 second left. And Scott Hartnell getting super-frustrated. And everyone bleeding.

- And then a smiling Claude Giroux ended it. All is right in the world.

PS- does anyone else love the music that is in this seasons episodes? It's really good.

Date Night Friday: Colin Wilson

2011-12-23T11:56:00.004-05:00

This date may seem a little strange but we think it's a fun idea and something that we may or may not have done before.

-&-

Hello, um I am Colin Wilson.

I play for the Nashville Predators and this is the date that I have planned for us. I really hope you like it.

So, I definitely pick you up because my mom would murder me in my sleep if I made you drive on a date. She literally would.

Anyway, we go to a a furniture place like Value City or IKEA and yes, it's weird but just hear me out. Inside the store, we dodge the employees and then try out the furniture.

While we're sitting in the couches and the chairs, we start pretending that we're other people and making up stories and fake lives in the furniture.

In a dining room set, we pretend fight about our son's bad behavior at school and blame each other. "He got his ADD from you." "Well, he's stupid because of you." And the like.

We lay on the beds and try them out. Even the kids' bedrooms and bunk beds. We will probably have to hide from one of the employees on a top bunk. That would be cool.

Or we can find one of the employees and get them to show us around the floor. We can even make up stories about why we need things. Like a couch to burn outside the arena in Montreal. Or a dining room set to 'have a seance' at.

Or something.

When we tire of this, we can go next door to whatever food place is there and order the weirdest and strangest thing on the menu. Because we can and it's all an adventure.

After dinner we can hang out a little more until I take you home. At your door, I nervously kick at the welcome mat as we say our goodbyes....

-&-

Did you like this strange yet fun date with Mr. Wilson? Was it adventurous enough for ya?

Let us know!

Chicago Blackhawks Christmas Sing-Along Holiday Album

2011-12-22T23:55:00.002-05:00

We can't stop laughing. This is the best Christmas-themed thing we've seen so far. So freaking funny.

Enjoy!

Even More Concussions

2011-12-21T21:21:00.002-05:00

Maybe it's a good thing that so many concussions are being diagnosed. It doesn't necessarily mean that players are hurting each other more but that they know how to diagnose them better.

But now there are more and more players joining the ranks of the concussed.

Rene Bourque from the Calgary Flames was suspended for two games for his hit on Brent Seabrook. Seabrook didn't miss a game but this would not be his first hit-to-the-head related injury.

The most recent players are Marcus Kruger from the Chicago Blackhawks. He was hit hit by the Penguins' Deryl Engelland who is facing disciplinary action Thursday.

Then two players were injured in the Islanders/Jets game. Al Montoya was hit by Evander Kane and David Ullstrom went back-first into the baords. Both were diagnosed with concussions.

And the Senators Jesse Winchester was hit into the boards by the Sabres Paul Gaustad and also suffered a concussion.

Too many concussions. We hate just typing the damn word. But at least they're being caught so that less harm is done to the players in the long run. That's the only good news that we can see.

Jacob Markstrom's Dance Dance Revolution

2011-12-20T23:18:00.002-05:00

Yes, this deserved it's own post.

Markstrom's dancing is awesome and we love it. Wish more goalies did this during stoppages.

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Eleven

2011-12-19T17:36:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone.

Hope that your injury trades are working out for ya. Also, get thinking on who you would like to trade for on January 3rd.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see what's going on with the new coaches being hired and the old coaches getting fired and the concussion epidemic in the NHL.

Here are the results for last week:

The top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. The Bert and Ernies
3. Noodles
4. Socially Awkward
5. The Dizzy Timbits

Good luck to everyone this week.

Awards Monday: Week Eleven

2011-12-19T00:18:00.003-05:00

Hottie of the Week

Marian Hossa & Patrick Sharp

These two have been insane lately. And they've been helping Jonathan Toews shoulder the offense for the Blackhawks. Yay.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

HBO 24/7 Promo

But that's because we're obsessed with this series.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

St. Louis Blues

Have they lost since hiring Ken Hitchcock? We don't think so. They've been 5-1 in their last six games. Unreal.

Bye-Bye Coaches

2011-12-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

As you already know, the Montreal Canadiens fired Jacques Martin.

He has been replaced by Randy Cunneyworth as the interim head coach.

And another one bites the dust. Does it seem like there are more coaching changes this season than last? But maybe that's just what we think because, actually no, there has been more firings than normal.

For the LA Kings, they have finally decided on a coach. It is being reported that Darryl Sutter is the new coach for the team.

Uhhhhhh, what?

This sour face will be coaching the Kings? Damn. Everybody's getting serious about coaching up in here. First the Blues hire Ken Hitchcock who still scares the beejeezus outta us because he's straight serious about winning. And then Dale Hunter takes over in Washington.

So many serious coaches.

And so many coaching changes this season.

First change was the Blues with Hitchcock taking over for Davis Payne.

Then Washington and Carolina fired Bruce Boudreau and Paul Maurice respectively and in comes Dale Hunter and Kirk Muller.

And Anaheim joins the train, firing Randy Carlyle and then replacing him with Bruce Boudreau. This change still upsets us because we like Carlyle and it's a shame that he had to get the axe.

Just a few days ago, the Kings fired Terry Murray and are now replacing him with a Sutter.

Then yesterday Montreal jumped on the bandwagon and got rid of Jacques Martin.

By our count, that's six coaching changes before the new year. By this time last season there was one. November of last season, Scott Gordon was fired and replaced by Jack Capuano.

One mid-season coaching change. And we're pretty sure that was the only coaching change all of last season. The majority of the coaching changes happened when the team's season was over.

Apparently, there's something in the water that these NHL general managers are imbibing. And it's not Shero-Aid.

Links N'At

2011-12-17T22:59:00.002-05:00

The ongoing saga between the Phoenix Coyotes and Kyle Turris has finally ended.

Turris was traded to the Ottawa Senators for David Rundblad and a second-round pick in 2012.

Also, Mike Milbury was charged with assaulting a twelve-year-old youth hockey player in Massachusetts yesterday.

What the everloving hell? Is this a very early April Fools joke? While we're not really that shocked that he goes and does this, we also kinda are surprised that he beat up a kid. [insert shoe beatdown joke here].

Date Night Friday: Tim Brent

2011-12-16T22:56:00.001-05:00

For some reason, we've been hearing his name lately. Don't know who we've been talking to but Tim Brent seemed like a good person to date this week.Also, we enjoy his Twitter.

Hope you enjoy it!

-&-

Hi ladies.

My name is Tim Brent and I play for the Carolina Hurricanes. If you're not familiar with me or whatever, well that's just unfortunate. I am a great dude and this date will be a blast.

So here's what I'm thinking. I pick you up at your house, duh.
Ladies never drive or pay on the first date, that's the first rule of being a gentleman.

Anyway, we go to this great Japanese restaurant where we sit at the hibachi table.

And if you've never been to hibachi then girl you are in for a treat. We order and then wait for the show to begin. The show will definitely involve getting sake squirted into our mouths, an onion fire volcano and singing.

I also tell the waiter that it's your birthday (even if it isn't) and we get the flower cake that's on fire and the disco ball with the birthday song. It's a show that's for sure.

After dinner, we walk around the mall to walk off the full feeling after that delicious dinner. We talk about random things and get to know each other.

After that, I take you back home.At your door, I ask if it would be cool if we could see each other again.

-&-

As usual, it's your decision.

Did you have a fun time with Mr. Brent? Was it a satisfactory date? Let us know.

Flyers & Rangers 24/7: First Episode

2011-12-15T23:24:00.005-05:00

If you haven't seen the first episode, it is up on YouTube already.

Here is Part One (of four for the first episode).

We had a few thoughts about the first episode and we shall share them here with everyone.

- Does anyone else feel a little uncomfortable when they show the close-ups of the players? Seems really strange.

- Ryan Callahan's outfit when they're showing the Rangers 'commute to work' made us squeal and we believed we were past that phase in our lives.

Apparently not.

- It is clear that Ilya Bryzgalov will be the star of this series. He is batshit crazy and now everyone will know this, not just Flyers (and some Coyotes) fans.

Bryzgalov also had the best lines.

- We love how John Tortorella calls out players. It may be poor form but it helps accountability and we also think it's funny, like a teacher when they get mad at a kid.

- Shirtless players is always a bonus.

Especially when they have an epic Captain death-stare.

- We laughed when the Rangers were with the kids from Garden of Dreams and someone told Henrik, 'Watch your hair, Henke' when they were getting into the limo.

- The Flyers rookies rocking out to Mac Miller was awesome.

Even though we are Penguins fans and that win was at the expense of our team, it was fun to see that celebration in the locker room.

- One of the things that we absolutely love about this series is the access and how we can hear everything. When Dubinsky and Anisimov were in the penalty box, you could hear everything.

Watching games we always wonder what is being said in that situation and now we know.

- Also, Anisimov apologizing was cute. Also, we had no idea his English was that weak. Learn something new every day.

- It may be just us but Brad Richards is ridiculously good-looking.

Especially in street clothes.

- Claude Giroux. We're still upset. But his purple shirt after the injury, yum. Still, we're mad at Wayne. Even if he helps out children who wanna play hockey.

- The Flyers Christmas party was cute. Bryzgalov's son is exactly like him, even the way he rambles.

- Ryan Callahan's family is adorable. Especially grandma. That's exactly how ours talks, except our grandma is a little meaner.

- Now we keep calling Giroux 'G' because it's funny and we like it.

- Also, if you need anyone to talk to Flyers fans, hit us up. We definitely know what it's like to lose your best player to the worst of all injuries....the concussion. It's not fun and it's a terrible waiting game.

Can't wait for the next episode. We hope there are more Tortorella outbursts during games and Flyers rookies dancing.

Trick Shots & Shootout Goals

2011-12-14T23:15:00.004-05:00

There are too many injuries and concussions happening right now. We don't like this at all. At all.

So to take our minds off of this tiring holiday and injury plagued season, we've been trying to find videos that make us forget about life.

Here is Shea Weber doing a trick shot from the 300 level at Bridgestone Arena.

And this video is Kris Versteeg's dirty goal against the Devils

And this video is from tonight's game between the Hawks and the Wild, the Patrick Kane shootout

Injuries, Fines & Trades Oh My

2011-12-13T12:29:00.004-05:00

On the trades front:

The Carolina Hurricanes traded Tomas Kaberle to the Montreal Canadiens for Jaroslav Spacek.

The Ducks traded Kurtis Foster and Timo Pielmeier to the Devils for Rod Pelley and Mark Fraser (and a seventh-rounder in 2012).

In a sort of trade, the Kings fired Terry Murray and named John Stevens as the interim coach.

On the fine front:

Brad Marchand was fined $2500 for his slewfoot on Matt Niskanen during last week's Bruins/Penguins game.

Steve Downie was fined the same amount for leaving the bench on an illegal line change.

INJURIES!:

Chris Pronger is out with 'concussion-like' symptoms.

Mike Green is seeing a specialist for his groin injury.

Zdeno Chara is day-to-day with a knee injury but says that it isn't serious.

Brian Boucher is on the Hurricanes IR and Jeff Skinner is injured. Jeez.

Claude Giroux has a concussion and is out indefinitely. NOOOOOOO!!!

And Sidney Crosby is out indefinitely with symptoms.

(The entire state of Pennsylvania is in mourning with these injuries.)

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Ten

2011-12-12T12:20:00.005-05:00

Hello everyone!

This will be a short one.

If you have a player on your team who has a significant injury and would like to trade him then please email us. But this is only for injured players, nothing else. And only two per team, no more.

We will be taking trades until Friday. After that, no trades until January 3rd. (Moved back a few days because of the holidays.)

Here are the standings for this week:

The top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. The Bert and Ernies
3. Noodles
4. Socially Awkward
5. Evgenia

Congrats to everyone in the top five and good luck with this week.

Awards Monday: Week Ten

2011-12-12T12:01:00.003-05:00

Hottie Of The Week

Chris Chelios, Gary Suter, Keith Tkachuk, Mike Emrick and Ed Snider

Because they were just inducted into the US Hockey Hall of Fame and deservedly so.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

Happy Holidays from the Florida Panthers

(Thanks to Shanny for the link)

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Minnesota Wild

When it seems that other teams are failing, they keep winning. Everyone thought this was a fluke and they would settle into the middle of the pack but it hasn't happened. Good for the Wild for being the top in the league.

Worlds Juniors, They Are A-Comin'

2011-12-11T23:06:00.003-05:00

The rosters are being set for the WJC teams and we are flailing right now. They keep getting younger but we stay this excited for World Juniors.

The Lightning's Brett Connolly is going. As is Anaheim's Devante Smith-Pelley. Among others of course.

Erik Gudbranson is not going because Dale Tallon is keeping Hottie McStudMuffin in Florida. And he scored the only Panthers goal tonight. Yeah buddy.

Last year we were lucky enough to attend two games because they were only a few hours away in Buffalo.

This year they will be held in Calgary and Edmonton. And they better be televised or someone is going to pay with their measly lives.

It's a tradition in our family to watch these games and have the USA vs. Canada fight that is customary between Noodles and Henrik.

Happens every year.

Of course last year there was the big upset that Russia pulled on the Canadians and most Canadians do not speak of this.

This season should be awesome with the Americans, Canadians and Russians fighting for the gold. With the Finns and Swedes not far behind. Every year is filled with highlight goals and stunning plays and we can't wait for it to start.

NHL Network better be on their toes this season and the coverage better be awesome. We mean business.

NHL.com Has Better Headlines Than Us

2011-12-10T22:40:00.003-05:00

As you probably already know, Artem Anisimov pulled this move after scoring against the Tampa Bay Lightning.

There are three things wrong with Anisimov doing this:

1. He 'aims' at the Lightning's captain Vincent Lecavalier who doesn't do anything ever so why pick him?

2. It's a rip off of Teemu Selanne's famous move.

3. His coach is John Tortorella.

We wouldn't mess with him.

But all in all, we don't think it was that bad. All that hoopla about the move is stupid. Remember when everyone was upset that Ovechkin pretended his stick was 'so hot' after scoring his fiftieth goal?

Stuuuuuuupid. Cellys like that are awesome even if they are over the top and ridiculous. It's emotional but also something that is part of the game.

Also, Anisimov may have gotten the 'hat' but we know that Tortorella was waiting for him in the locker room with a wooden paddle.

That's not something we would want to face.

Date Night Friday: Claude Giroux

2011-12-09T22:33:00.004-05:00

Sometimes it seems that gingers are hit or miss in the looks department but Cladue Giroux's always been on our HIT list because he has a cute and genuine smile.

And he's awesome.

-&-

'Ello.

My name is Claude Giroux and I am taking you out on a date. Is that cool? So, I think we should go to the movies.

I know it sounds stupid but I think that Christmastime is usually when the best movies come out. There are so many quality films out there and we can pick any one you like. Of course you get first choice and I will see anything.

At the theater, we get Slushies and popcorn and Junior Mints and whatever candy you and I want. We definitely get some weird looks from the employees with our arms full of junk.

The previews are long but we make fun of them for being too dramatic or too weird or too stupid. Then we play a game I like to call "Theater, rent, not even with a coupon" where we rate movies and if we would see them by that scale.

As the movie starts, we quiet down and enjoy the show. About halfway through the movie, our hands may or may not end up really, really close to each other and could hold at one point.

After the movie, we discuss the plot happenings and the twists and what it all means in the end.

We wander to the Starbucks nearby and get some drinks and talk and walk around.

After a while, we go back to my car and I take you home.

While parked outside your house, I nervously ask if we can go out again because I had a great time and I would love to hang out again, you know.

-&-

Now, it's up to you.

Do you agree with us and think he is one hot ginger who deserves a second date?

Or no, no, just no?

Let us know.

You Got A Suspension, You Get A Suspension...

2011-12-08T23:32:00.000-05:00

It seems like everyone's being Shanabanned these days. Not that they didn't deserve it but there seems like a lot of them lately.

Such as...

- Kevin Porter from the Colorado Avalanche getting four games for his hit on David Booth.

- Ville Leino from the Buffalo Sabres was suspended one game for his elbow on Matt Read.

- And the strangest one of all was Andy Sutton's indefinite suspension.

SHANABANNED FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is What Happens When You Skip Breakfast

2011-12-07T23:04:00.003-05:00

YOU'RE BENCHED!

To be fair, Seguin also missed an all important team meeting which caused his benching for the game between the Bruins and the Jets.

- Henrik Karlsson will be out of the Flames lineup for 6-8 weeks with an MCL tear.

- Mark Fistric was suspended three games for his hit on Nino Niederreiter.

- The Stars are busy, busy, busy as they traded Krys Barch to the Florida Panthers for Jake Hauswirth. Plus, some picks in 2012.

- David Booth is out for the Canucks with a sprained MCL. He will miss about 4 to 6 weeks. Kevin Porter will have a hearing with Shanaban about this hit.

- The Penguins are keeping Sidney Crosby out for the next two games as a precaution after taking a few hard hits the last few games. It's just a precaution so calm yo tits, beetches.

Seriously, you would think there was some kind of conspiracy with how everyone's overreacting about the news. It's a concussion, he needs some rest. End of story.

Realignment & Other News

2011-12-06T14:44:00.005-05:00

As of right now, the biggest news is the NHL Board of Governors approving a four conference league that looks like this

(thanks to Megan and Facebook for the picture).

Here's a link to another picture of the realignment.

And all we've been hearing is people bitching about it. Like usual. One change and everyone's all pissed off about it. Give it a chance before you tear it apart.

Only thing we don't understand is the Florida situation but maybe that will be worked out in some way. This wasn't an easy thing and we can see where they're going with it but it seems a little awkward.

- Victor Hedman was re-signed by the Tampa Bay Lightning to a five-year extension reportedly worth $4 million a season.

Also, has anyone else forgot that he's a large human at 6'6"? We did.

- Another re-signing came in the form of David Krejci and a three-year deal worth 15.75 million dollars.

- Apparently Bobby Ryan is off the market (for now) after the firing of Randy Carlyle and the hiring of Bruce Boudreau.

- David Perron returned to the Blues lineup on Saturday and scored the first goal for them. That's pretty awesome, sir.

- Mike Brown had back surgery and will be out of the Leafs lineup for at least six weeks.

- Mark Giordano is out indefinitely for the Flames after rupturing tendons in his leg. Sounds really nasty.

- The Nashville Predators have a fun way to spend optional skates in the locker room

(Thanks to Mouthguard for the link.)

- There's a new study from Boston University that claims hockey fights could increase degenerative brain disease risk.

- Jordin Tootoo was suspended for two games following his charge and hit on Ryan Miller during Saturday night's game.

- Scott Cullen from TSN has the best and worst of November. There's a lot of interesting stats there.

- In case you wanna see some of the Sabres in Western gear and Cowboy hats, Ryan Miller had his annual Catwalk for Charity and there are pictures.

Link.

- Here's some behind the scenes footage of the Tampa Bay Lightning's photo shoot for a local magazine.

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Nine

2011-12-05T13:56:00.004-05:00

Hellos everyone!

Trades have been made on Friday. How did they make your teams? Are they better now? Have they gotten worse?

What do you think?

Here are the standings for Week Nine.

The Top Five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. The Bert and Ernies
3. Socially Awkward
4. Noodles
5. Evgenia

Ramen Truck is benefiting from Steven Stamkos leading the league in goals and also the penalty minutes barrage of Corey Perry.

And trades helped change the top five several times this weekend. They really do make a difference, especially since the points are kept from the previous player.

Hope everyone's doing well with their team and if you have any questions about anything then let us know either here or by email.

Awards Monday: Week Nine

2011-12-05T12:59:00.004-05:00

Hottie of the Week

Zack Kassian

Kassian has two goals in five games but most impressive has been his physical game against more established and bigger opponents. The Sabres have been waiting for a kid like him.

-&-

The Best Commercial of the Night

Volkswagen

Best kid ever.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Jonathan Toews

What can we say about the Hawks Captain? He's fifth in the league in goals and is a force to be reckoned with every night. Now that's a captain.

NHL All Star Campaign Posters

2011-12-04T23:29:00.005-05:00

Shanny has come up with a genius guerrilla marketing campaign for the NHL All Star Game.

She created campaign posters to represent the players on her team and to get you to vote for them.

Her posters pertain to the Dallas Stars but we still like them (we kid, we kid).

Well, we think it's a fantastic idea and want to get everyone on this bandwagon. We think that getting a bunch of posters from our readers and display them here would be awesome.

Create anything you want for the players that you love. Any kind of campaign poster that you want to create for any player that you want. Send them to us.

What do you think? Would you like to participate?

The answer better be a yes.

Even if you've never commented, we wanna see your ideas. If you've never touched a photo-doctoring type program, get on it. We wanna see your ideas for NHL All Star Campaign posters.

We will even do it for the players that we love and should go to the All Star Game. Hopefully we get some time.

Whoever creates the funniest/best/prettiest poster then you will get a little prize from us. Winner will be decided by commenter voting.

Deadline is January 25th.

Email us at thehockeyjunkies@gmail.com with your display/blog name and the team/player that you created the poster for.

Voting begins January 26th until the All Star Game is over on the 30th.

If you want any suggestions or help, let us know. We will be more than happy to help you out with anything at all.

Let's get designing!!!

A Letter To Predators Fans

2011-12-03T23:32:00.007-05:00

Dear Predators' Fans,

Fans of other teams have always been our greatest enemy and our greatest source of entertainment in opposing arenas.

We've been heckled relentlessly at Wachovia, hit on at the United Center and been told that we're too awesome to be Penguins fans at HSBC (before it was the First Niagara or whatever).

One of our favorite arenas is the Nashville Predators' arena, Bridgestone Arena or as we still like to call it, The Gaylord Entertainment Center because it's a better name.

We love this arena because it is easy to exit and it is easy to get to. Parking is so easy it should be illegal. There is everything right outside the arena, like bars and restaurants and shops. We couldn't ask for anything more.

But what we love the most are the fans.

They're nice and courteous and we were impressed with their passion and knowledge of the game. Whoever said that the game doesn't belong in the South needs their head checked. Seriously.

We were lucky enough to attend the game tonight between the Predators and the Sabres. It was a hard-hitting and chirping affair that catered to our Northern bloodlust more than the Southern hospitality.

The fans around us were so into the game. The woman sitting next to us sang the National Anthem better than the girl singing it. She was all about the players and knew their names and their tendencies.

The fans do chants after goal announcements and breaks in play. There is almost always a 'Let's Go Pred-A-Tors' going somewhere in the arena.

During a commercial break when it was still 2-1, the fans stood up and cheered the entire time. The entire time of a commercial break. We have never experienced that before.

The passion and love that these fans showed for their team and this game made a huge impression on us.

Yes it does help that they've almost always have a competitive and winning team but that isn't all of it. These fans know the game and they have a love for a team that works hard.

Predators fans should know how lucky they are to have a team and to have a team that works hard every night. That's what we love about this team and this fan base.

Only suggestion we have is to cool it on blaming the referees for every penalty. Sometimes it is a penalty so chill. The Predators are good but they're not Lady Byng material.

Anyway, we just wanted to let everyone know how awesome Predators' fans are and how much we enjoy the arena and the fans. We had a great time and it was a great game to see.

Love,

The Hockey Junkies

Date Night Friday: John Tavares

2011-12-02T21:40:00.006-05:00

Shh, don't tell Henrik that we are dating her 'ittle son. He ain't so little anymore and like we say, if he looks old enough to be thirty then he's thirty.

Or something like that.

Well, here goes nothing...

-&-

Hello ladies, I'm John Tavares and this will be the date that will knock your socks off.

(blogmaster's note: After that picture, we don't even care about the date.)

I'm thinking an expensive dinner in New York city and then a stop at a bar because I'm twenty-one now and it's a Friday night so we should be out.

I listen to you talk about what you like and what you do for work. Then we discuss what it's like to live so close to New York City but not having to be in the craziness of it all.

(blogmaster's note: If he's talking, we don't hear it.)

It's fun to talk with you and we are having a good time.

Then maybe we can go and do a little dancing on the dance floor. And maybe we can get to at least first base (or second if we're sneaky).

Of course, I like to take it slow.

(blogmaster's note: GO ALL THE WAY, HIT A HOME RUN BOY!)

We get a cab back to Long Island and it's up to you. Would you like this night to end in separate places or ...

(blogmaster's note: WHERE DO YOU THINK WE END UP?!?!?!)

-&-

It feels dumb to ask the usual questions at the end. We know that you're thinking what we're thinking (at least we think you are).

But, is it a yes to John's place and a fun but long night

or

is it a no and you go home alone?

As usual, it's up to you!

Trades Today: A Great Email

2011-12-02T21:27:00.004-05:00

Evgenia sent us one of the best emails about the trades that needed to be made this month.

She had to trade Niklas Hjalmarsson for Niklas Kronwall and this is the email we received from her:

It is with a heavy heart that I must do what I am about to do.

I wish to announce a trade...

Team Evgenia would like to trade Chicago Blackhawks' defenseman Niklas Hjalmarsson for defenseman Niklas Kronwall of the Detroit Red Wings.

GM Statement:
"Niklas Hjalmarsson has been an unbelievable asset to my team in the past. However, his girlfriend is so freaking annoying that I believe it has affected his ability to play effectively. As a result, I was forced to cut ties. I would like to go on record saying that Niklas is an amazing man and will do great things in the future, but this is a business (personal) decision. His girlfriend was too much for our organization to handle."

Niklas Hjalmarsson's agent has not returned our phone call. Although his annoying ass biotch tweeted, "@TeamEvgenia: He's better off without you. At least he still has me with my fake brunette hair and shopping bills. #hockeygfsrock"

GM Response: Suck it bitch! You's a hoe. :-)

We want to send out every email like this to all of you when you make trades. Or if we have suggestions on who to trade.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as we did.

Top Ten: Movember Mustaches

2011-11-30T23:09:00.006-05:00

There are few mustaches that have taken over the world since Movember started. And quite a few that had no impact at all.

Here are a few of the most noteworthy 'staches in the NHL this month.

10. Mike Cammalleri

We like the duster look on him. It matches his fashion style very much.

09. TJ Oshie

He looks like Luigi here. But we like it.

08. Luke Schenn

Oh Lukey, we like the soul patch and duster combo. Even better with that stance/outfit.

07. Tyler Seguin

It might be a little too large for his delicate features but it's still an impressive 'stache and one that has us liking it.

06. Sidney Crosby

Don't know who told him that a Parros-type mustache would be good but he went ahead and did it without our consent.

05. Jason Spezza

All he needs is a top hat, seriously.

04. Kris Versteeg

It's a classic but a classic that will never go out of style. It looks good with his whole face.

03. Jeff Skinner

We like this pointy-mustache for Skinner's baby features. It toughens him up a bit because he needs it.

02. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

And there were some who said that he couldn't grow one. Shame on them.

01. Patrick Kane

Saddest part is that this mustache is all real folks...so sad.

Coaching Changes & Other Things

2011-11-29T23:55:00.002-05:00

- The Washington Capitals fired Bruce Boudreau.

And then hired Dale Hunter to take his place.

- The Carolina Hurricanes fired Paul Maurice.

Then hired Kirk Muller to take his place.

And this all happened in one day.

- The New York Rangers unveiled their third jerseys that will be worn for the Winter Classic.

We likey. A lot.

- Chris Pronger will be out for at least four weeks after having surgery on his knee. So many injuries for him this season, jeez.

- Max Pacioretty was suspended three games for his hit on Kris Letang.

And from the same game, James Neal was fined $2,500 for his high-stick on PK Subban.

- Taylor Hall will be out for at least two to four weeks with a shoulder injury. NOOOOOOOO! Our fantasy teams depend on his face!!!

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Eight

2011-11-28T22:42:00.004-05:00

Hello all.

How are your teams doing? Need to vent here? Want some free and relatively smart advice on who to pick up in what position? Don't hesitate to vent or ask.

Also, do not forget about the December 1st trade day. If you sent us an email (thehockeujunkies@gmail.com) then we have it and will be making the trades on Thursday.

If not, get dem bitches in ladies.

Onto more important stuff...the standings for Week Eight

The top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Socially Awkward
3. The Bert and Ernies
4. Hattrick Marleau
5. Noodles

Only one minor change in the top five and that was the reversal of The Bert and Ernies and Socially Awkward.

Nothing really important to report other than the total domination of Jonathan Toews and his goal scoring prowess emerging. He did give quite a few people jumps in the standings.

But that's about it.

Thursday is trade day. And good luck to everyone this week!

Awards Monday: Week Eight

2011-11-28T22:08:00.003-05:00

Hottie Of The Week

Sidney Crosby

This was too easy. He had four points in his first game in ten months and has points in every game but one since then. It's nice to have him back.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night

Adirondack Phantoms

Technically not a commercial but who cares? It's too funny not to post.
(Thanks to Shanny for the link)

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Ken Hitchcock

He stepped into the St. Louis Blues dressing room after Davis Payne's firing and has really righted the ship. The Blues are 7-1-2 in their last ten games, the ones where Hitchcock has been the coach... coincidence? We think not.

Blackhawks Commercials and Other Things

2011-11-27T10:52:00.003-05:00

Jennifer sent these to us and we can't stop watching them over and over. They're oddly sexy yet intense and scary.

Here's the first one with Corey Crawford and Dave Bolland.

Then we have the Duncan Keith one which is really, really intense.

And then Jonathan Toews

- the NHL Winter Classic Alumni Game will feature some Hockey Hall of Fame members which is awesome!

- John Tavares was fined $2,500 for a slash on Zach Parise when the Islanders played the Devils.

- Andre Deveaux was suspended for three games after an illegal check to Tomas Fleischman's head when the Rangers played the Panthers.

- The Flames picked up Blake Comeau off the waiver wire from the Islanders.

- There's been a lot of hoopla surrounding a scrum in Friday night's game between the Senators and the Penguins involving Nick Foligno and Sidney Crosby. Foligno had some words about Crosby elbowing him in the scrum then both Dan Bylsma and Crosby responded.

- Taylor Hall is injured. We repeat: Taylor Hall is injured.

- The Stars are having a terrible time with injuries lately. Last night, Kari Lehtonen was injured along with Vernon Fiddler and Trevor Daley. What the hell?

- And in case you hadn't heard, Kris Letang was hit by Max Pacioretty in last night's game between the Penguins and Canadiens and broke his nose. Then he returned to the game and scored the controversial game-winner.

- The Kings went to the Breaking Dawn: Part 1 premiere and loved it.

Sexiest Hockey Men Alive

2011-11-26T19:16:00.005-05:00

Thanks to Shanny for this feature. We absolutely love this and the fact that it really sounds like something that would be featured in People magazine.

-&-

It's that time of year when People Magazine puts out the Sexiest Man Alive issue. Per usual, they dropped the ball & failed to include any hockey players. It was not easy but here is a list of the top 10 hockey players who should be in the Sexiest Man Alive issue.

Please let us know what your list would look like.

Stick tap to Jennifer for all her help :D!

1. Shea Weber

What's not to love about the Sicamous, British Columbia native. He's an Olympic gold medalist & captain of his team. His dimples as well as his slapshot can stop traffic. He also grows a beard that makes Billy Gibbons envious. That's what makes Shea the complete package & sexiest hockey man alive.

2. Zach Parise

WARNING: This quintessential All-American boy's dreamy eyes & adorable grin may cause uncontrollable giggling. Teehee, hee, hee.

3. Henrik Lundqvist

The New York Rangers goalie with his signature coif, impeccable style, & brilliant smile causes people to swoon wherever he goes.

4a. Niklas Lidstrom

The 40 year old Swede is tall, talented, humble, & gorgeous. He's the Perfect Human

4b. Loui Eriksson

The 26 year old Swede is tall, talented, humble, & gorgeous. He's the Perfect Human in Training.

5. Vinny Lecavalier

Parlez-vous francais? The captain of the Tampa Bay Lightning does, much to the delight of his fans. It's just one of the many reasons to love the multi-talented 31 year old.

6. Kris Versteeg

Sometimes being sexy is all in the attitude & Versteeg has plenty of it. The 5'10 winger earned the nickname 'Verbeauty' because of his witty since of humor & singing/rapping abilities. His killer baby blues & golden mane don't hurt matters either.

7. Marian Hossa

It may have taken The Slovakian God a little longer than expected to reach the pinnacle. With his fantastic skating ability, soft hands, & winning smile he was finally able to raise hockey's Holy Grail in 2010.

8. Vladimir Sobotka

With filthy stick work, a scoring touch, & such a pretty, pretty face it won't take long before the 23 year old Czech is a house hold name.

9. The Staal boys

Whether they're winning Olympic gold (like Eric), being nominated for the Selke (like Jordan), being a defensive stud (like Marc), or just being delightfully ginger (like Tito). These Thunder Bay, Ontario natives offer a little something for everyone.

10. Tyler Seguin

The 6'1 Brampton, Ontario native, known league wide as Bob, has already accomplished so much in his short career. He was the second overall pick in the 2010 draft and won the Stanley Cup in his rookie season. Which makes me believe this cutie, with washboard abs, is sure to be breaking hearts for years to come.

Date Night Friday: Kris Versteeg

2011-11-25T23:42:00.003-05:00

We know this date has been done before (sort of) in the Double Date feature we had a while back but he's worth it to be visited again.

-&-

What's up, ladies? How are you this evening? My name is Kris Versteeg but you can call me 'Verbeauty' or 'Sexyface' is also good.

Anyway, I am pretty confident that this date will be amazing.

First up is dinner which I think should be at a nice Italian place where we can get some chicken and pasta and wine.

The owner approaches the table after recognizing me. "Will you sing a little song for us, Verbeauty? I think it will be great if you did."

I say 'no' the first few times but eventually consent. I get up on stage and serenade you with a rendition of LMFAO 'Sexy and I know it' which always gets the ladies going.

It isn't hot in the restaurant, it is me. I apologize for the amazingness blowing you away.

After dinner, we go to this great bar that I heard of. Inside, we commandeer two stools and order drinks. Then we talk about everything while slowly getting drunker and drunker.

The dance floor calls to us and we make a scene dancing in the middle of the floor doing the dougie and the shuffle and the running man among other moves.

I start serenading you halfway through our millionth drinks and you're loving it. That's when it's time for the cab back to my place

...if you want of course...

-&-

Well, did you like this date with Mr. Versteeg?

Are you into going back to his place after the date?

Let us know either here or in the votes!

What We're Thankful For 2011

2011-11-24T11:51:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again, Thanksgiving.

The day when we go to Grandma's, make a plate of mashed potatoes, turkey, corn, stuffing and covering it all with gravy.

Literally.

But we also understand that this is a day for giving thanks for things that we appreciate in our lives.

And of course we make it all about hockey.

This year we're thankful for a lot of things.

We're thankful for another season of great hockey that is full of amazing goals and defensive plays and saves by goalies that make us go 'WTF?!'

We're thankful for the Minnesota Wild leading the league.

We're thankful for the surprising play of the Florida Panthers.

We're thankful for overtime goals and beautiful shootout goals and great celebrations.

We're thankful for the play of Ryan Nugent-Hopkings, Gabriel Landeskog and Adam Henrique and all of the rookies who are making a name for themselves this season.

We're thankful for the return of Sidney Crosby and everything he is about.

We're thankful for the crackdowns on head-shots and dangerous plays because we don't want anything jeopardizing the players and the game that we love.

We're thankful for Hockey Night in Canada and the everlasting bromance between Ron McLean and Don Cherry.

We're thankful that the Dallas Stars ownership situation has been fixed.

We're thankful for the surprise league leaders in points and goals. Who would have thought that the top five in points would be Phil Kessel, Claude Giroux, Kris Versteeg, Joffrey Lupul and Thomas Vanek? Not us.

But most of all, what we're most thankful for is everyday watching games and getting to blog about it. We're thankful that we have readers who appreciate what we do and participate in running this blog.

Let us know what you're thankful for, whether we mentioned it already or not.

Also, have a great Turkey Day!

Things We Wanna Link To

2011-11-23T23:45:00.003-05:00

- Mike Komisarek is out for eight weeks after breaking his arm. Sounds like a nasty injury.

- Tyler Myers is also out for four to six weeks after breaking his wrist. Another nasty sounding injury.

- Kyle Turris signed a two-year deal with the Phoenix Coyotes so now he can get traded.

- Daniel Tkaczuk from the Hockey News has a list of the best mustaches in the NHL, past and present. You know we approve.

- Drew Doughty was fined $2500 for his hit on TJ Oshie in tonight's game.

- Brenda Morrow is out for the Stars with an upper-body 'issue'.

- Travis Zajac is getting closer to returning to the lineup for the Devils which is great news for them.

- A fight between Paul Gaustad and Milan Lucic,finally.

Have You Voted Yet?

2011-11-22T23:34:00.006-05:00

NHL.com has the results of the first week of All Star voting and it's no surprise who is at the top of the voting.

What we find funny is how there is a small contingent of people who are angry that Sidney Crosby is on the ballot.

Well, maybe after Monday night they will shut their pie holes. But probably not.

Who have you been voting for?

Are your top players in the ballot?

What would your all star lineup look like?

Let us know.

Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Seven

2011-11-21T23:04:00.003-05:00

Hey hockey pool Junkies, how are your teams doing? Are you happy where you are or is there something or someone that is wrong for your team?

On December 1st, we will have another trade day.

By midnight on December 1st please have your trades emailed to us at thehockeyjunkies@gmail.com with the subject line something about trades for 12/1 so we know what we're getting.

Remember, you have two available trades to make on the first so use them wisely, very wisely.

Here are the current standings...

The top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. The Bert and Ernies
3. Socially Awkward
4. Hattrick Marleau
5. Noodles

We have a new leader this week with Ramen Truck leading the way with 768 points and a pretty nice week from Steven Stamkos and Corey Perry's penalties.

Also, the next four were helped out immensely from Taylor Hall's hat trick. It's nice to see the kid get off the unproductive list with a hatty.

And Noodles has stopped whining since making the top five. Now we can't get her to shut up about being number five.

Good luck to everyone this week and don't forget about the first.

Awards Monday: Week Seven

2011-11-21T22:41:00.003-05:00

Hottie Of The Week

Phil Kessel

(We can never say his name without sounding like the parody from Bloge Salming...watch it and try not to say it like that.)

But he has a million goals already and he's actually playing like he cares right now. Which is pretty fun to watch and also good for the Leafs.

-&-

Best Commercial Of The Night

Cheetah Power Surge Blueberry Flavour

Uh, what the hell is this? Weirdest and saddest commercial we've come across yet.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award

Florida Panthers

They're like the Goonies this season. Or the cardiac kids. It always seems like they're down and out but somehow they pull a win outta their collective asses. It's admirable how they do that every game.

Crosby Watch Is Officially Over

2011-11-20T20:06:00.004-05:00

WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Henrik hasn't been heard of since the news broke this afternoon and we have a sneaking suspicion that this has happened.

Is this real life? Is the Sidney Crosby really ready to come back to the Penguins? It all seems too good to be true.

Or so it seems.

We do know that it has been officially confirmed that Sidney Crosby will make his season debut tomorrow against the New York Islanders.

But we won't believe it until we see #87 skate out onto Consol ice with the rest of the team. Until then, this is just a nasty and scary rumor that our wunderkind is back.

Tomorrow cannot come fast enough.

NHL Fun Facts #1

2011-11-19T23:33:00.004-05:00

Have you ever heard something during a broadcast and said, "WTF, when did that happen?" or "Huh, didn't know that"?

Well, we do it all the time. We always hear something that makes us ponder for a moment and think, "Well, that's a fun fact."

Here is where we will recap some of the fun things we've heard or read in the past month.

- the Florida Panthers defense is leading the defense corps of the NHL in offense

- Chicago Blackhawks Jonathan Toews is leading in faceoff percentage at 61% (centers who have played in all games)

- Zac Rinaldo from the Philadelphia Flyers is leading the NHL in PIMs

- Half of Carolina Hurricanes's Brandon Sutter's goals are shorthanded

- Johan Franzen and Vincent Lecavalier lead the league with four game-winning goals

- Craig Smith of the Nashville Predators pulled a Patrik Stefan the other night...well, almost

-&-

If you heard any fun facts or anything interesting, email them to us and we shall do this again.