Videos for Fun

Here are some videos that we've been compiling for your viewing pleasure...


Oilers prospect Curtis Hamilton interviews his fellow prospects as they take in an Eskimos game.


And here's OTR with the Brothers Schenn
LINK

Colin Fraser takes the mic and asks his fellow teammates what their favorite pre-game music is.


Then Dustin Penner interviews his teammates about a sundry of things and hilarity ensues.

Because Penner is a huge tool and it's awesome.

Also, if you haven't seen it, Will Arnett spoofed Brendan Shanahan at the NHL Awards last month.

It's worth a second watch as well.

The Panthers answer what the weirdest thing they've ever eaten was.

Brian Campbell's story, holy wow, no.

For the Islanders rookie camp, Casey Cizikas was mic'd up.

Boomshakalaka!

Top Ten: Things Found in Patrik Elias's Bag

The mystery of where the last puck used in Game Six of the 2012 Stanley Cup Finals went has finally been solved.

Patrik Elias found it in his equipment bag. Conveniently stashed away where no one could find it.

So, this got us wondering...what else could be hiding in Elias's bag...


Top Ten: Things Found in Patrik Elias's Equipment Bag

10. a beat-up pair of skates


09. the 'lost' eighteen minutes on the Watergate tape

08. Sidney Crosby's Gold-medal winning gloves


07. the Declaration of Independence

06. Amelia Earhart's airplane


05. "Social Media for Dummies" by Lou Lamoriello

04. the Holy Grail


03. Patrick Kane's dignity

EDIT: oh nope wait, it's still missing

02. outline for the new CBA

01. his boyfran Petr Sykora

Signings Before the Deadline

Signings:

- Hal Gill re-signed with the Nashville Predators for two more years worth four million.

- Bruins re-signed Tuukka Rask for one more year worth 3.8 million.

- Nikita Nikitin re-signed with the Blue Jackets for two more years.

- Scott Nichol re-signed with the Blues with a one-year contract.

- The Kings re-signed Jonathan Quick to a ten-year deal.

- Lightning re-signed Brian Lee to a two-year deal.

- The Flames re-signed Cory Sarich to a two-year deal worth four million.

- Cory Schneider re-signed with the Canucks with a three-year deal worth twelve million.

- The Wild re-signed Matt Kassian to a two-year deal.

- Sidney Crosby re-signed with the Penguins. It's a twelve-year deal worth 104 million dollars.


Other things:

- Brian Boucher will be out 4-6 months after suffering a shoulder injury.

- The AHL will be the testing ground for hybrid no-touch icing.

NHL News and Links

- Apparently the Islanders offered the Blue Jackets all of their picks in 2012 for the second overall.

ALL OF THE PICKS. We can't even fathom right now which general manager is worse: the one offering that or the one refusing it.


- Brandon Sutter is excited about his opportunity to play in Pittsburgh. Yeah, he better be because we're ready to fatten him up. PGH food for the win!


- Devils defenseman Mark Fayne will be out 3-4 months after undergoing wrist surgery.


- The Jets signed Ondrej Pavelec to a five-year contract extension. Impressive. And it's back-loaded.


- So, the Hockey Hall of Fame. There were the expected calls. And the ones that actually happened. Congratulations to Pavel Bure, Mats Sundin, Joe Sakic and Adam Oates.


- Speaking of Oates, he was named the new Washington Capitals coach only hours before the Hall announcement. What a day.


Jonathan Toews talks about his BFF Patrick Kane


- The Avalanche re-signed defensemen Ryan Wilson to a three-year deal.


- Acott Arniel was hired as the head coach of the Canucks farm team in Chicago.


- The Sharks wasted no time in signing three players: Justin Braun, Tommy Wingels and Andrew Desjardins.


- Ryan White re-signed with the Canadiens for one more year.


- The Blues signed Ken Hitchcock to a contract extension. Because if they didn't we think that half of the NHL would have been doing some hoodoo to get him on their team.


- Ralph Kreuger was named the new head coach of the Edmonton Oilers.


- The Flames traded Jordan Henry and a fifth-round pick in 2013 to the Capitals for the rights to Dennis Wideman then signed him to a five-year deal. Bam!



Cabbie with the draftees...

Cassi Reviews the Draft: Get Them While They're Young

We have to admit that we love when our influence is felt on the younger generation. Even if we're a terrible influence.

Cassi is someone that we consider a protege and we were totally pumped that she wanted to do her own review of the Draft. We think it's the perfect mix of funny, sharp and awesome.

Without further ado, here is her write-up about the NHL 2012 Draft.

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Well, the names have all been called, the jerseys handed out, cheesy pictures taken, hand shakes exchanged, and sigh of relief exhaled. Now that the draft is over, what are we supposed to do? Umm..TALK ABOUT IT! DUH!!

I’m just going to admit it right out. A major reason I watch the draft is because I am a 17 year old girl...who enjoys to look at hockey players around my age. My humble hometown of Chicago is easily passed up when in comes to hockey hotbeds. I like to watch the draft because I like to look at the butts of boys in nicely fitted dress pants. Is this a crime? Not for me...but for any ladies older than me who have this same feeling...I’m not too sure.

Moving on...I obviously was not lucky enough to hike out to Pittsburgh and see the draft in person. So I spent my Friday night, alone on my couch, watching the festivities from the NBC Sports Network. Actually, if you want to be technical about this whole situation...I had the joyous company of hummus, chips, and my dog. Back to the point...while Henrik and Noodles observed things at the draft, from the draft, I observed the spectacle from my living room. So here’s some points I would like to go over...

First off, I am in love with Nail Yakupov’s broken English. And his ethnic connection with Stalin. Pretty badass if you ask me. I also believe we can all learn from his life philosophy of wanting to be first. Very Russian. Along with this...where did Carrot Top come from?


Moving on from that, I believe we all should share our sympathy with Ryan Murray...the poor, poor boy. Nobody wanted to be drafted by Columbus. “Honored” my ass.

Let’s take a moment to analyze this picture...

Daddy Dearest is like “Oh shit”, Ryan doesn’t want to get up, Mommy is fulfilling the stereotype, and beaming with joy, and Sissy is thinking to herself “This can’t be good”. I’d say future Christmas card? It’s such a shame..poor Ryan is such a cute boy. Why do all the good die young?


Such a nice kid, such a nice butt.

On another note, I wish I had Morgan Rielly’s dad...his reaction was so cute!


BOY BAND LOOK ALIKE ALERT!! “Baby, you like up my world like nobody else”


I now am proud to be an American after seeing an 11 year old Jacob Trouba absolutely hammer another prepubescent creep. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my freedom! Hell yeah America!

Like a boss...you flip that puck.

Before we move on, let’s address the most important moment in the draft...the Staal trade. I am sorry, but the Pittsburgh team has no heart. Boy-o is in the middle of getting hitched! WTF?! Have some curtsey. He was probably under Heather’s dress...having fun, trying to grab the garter..then someone interrupts his fun, telling him he just got traded to his brother’s team...and this ensues...


Can I just say one thing? If I went to a high school with Mark Jankowsi, I would not want to leave. I’d make it my lifelong goal that he took me to prom. Boy’s a looker.


See? Photoshop knows whats up! “The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed”


With me being a Hawks fan, I would like to say how pleased I am with their first pick, Teuvo Teravainen. He is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. I think he knits mittens for puppies in his spare time.

Patrick Kane, do NOT corrupt this sweet child. He just wants his daily glass of milk for strong bones when he says “drink”.


Sulk off Patty, sulk off.

Speaking of Patty, I have an..umm..issue with the kid his hometown team drafted. I don’t think Zemgus needs words...

There’s a face only a mother could love.

And last but not least, we need to highlight a few spectators at the draft. These individuals all obviously needed fashion help. Then again, let’s look at what sport we are dealing with...excluding the Swedes!

What do you all think?

Offender #1: Alyonka Larionov

Looks like a cherry Slushie exploded on her sexy angel outfit from Halloween...

Offender #2: Blondie behind Nail Yakupov:

I’m just going to go with the excuse that she’s Russian.

Offender #3: Collin Olson

It’s like a picnic table, with a candy cane!

Offender #4: Derrick Pouliot’s hair

Not so sick flow, bro

Offender #5: PK Subban and his blazer

First off, I’m not sure people wear brown blazers anymore...and what is this face?

and lastly....
Offender #6: Kathryn Tappen

You know, Kathryn is one of the few female hockey reporters I respect. I think she’s very good...however...in her rush to down the Pepto because she knows how her stomach gets around Pierre...she spilled. Poor girl.


So there were some things I observed from my lonely living room. One last thing...all the points to Tyler Seguin’s tweet...brought tears to Malcolm’s eyes.

Well, it was the tweet, or this face....

While the Women Watch: Guys Speak Out

It must be hard for guys who have friends or girlfriends who are devout hockey fans. What are they supposed to do while we watch the game we love? Even with a vague understanding of the rules, hockey games can be long and boring for any man, and minds may start to wander. There are a lot of attractive men in the NHL to man-crush on, and like us, men are only human. So I decided to give them a voice with one question: Which NHL Player Would You Switch Teams For? And we don't mean Penguins to Flyers or Flames to Oilers.

Just think of it as Cosmo's Top 30, but for mancrushes. 

Men were polled from all over the hockey world- Edmonton to Nashville to Toronto to Montreal to Pittsburgh and beyond- and the results weren't exactly surprising. If chicks dig scars, it seems unblemished, magazine-page beauty is what gets the boys going. There were 31 different answers, but a clear-cut top three.

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1. Henrik Lundqvist - G - New York Rangers

Alright. I'm gonna get you to raise your hand if you're at all surprised... No one? Nobody? Ok, that's what I thought. Hank came in with an overwhelming 22% of the vote, with some guys even going so far as to say he was chosen because he "looks like he'd be gentle". I guess this proves it: Henrik Lundqvist is universally beautiful.

2. Sidney Crosby - C - Pittsburgh Penguins

This one surprised us a little more because Sid isn't exactly the most popular of players anymore, but with 8% of the vote, he came in at #2. From this one, what I mostly gathered was "lips and ass", and I couldn't have said it better myself. 

3. Carey Price - G - Montreal Canadiens

Another Goalie hits the top three with 6% of the vote. There were a few comments on his bendiness and lassoing abilities. Interestingly, even Leafs fans were down with this one.

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A few more stats:

In the end, Goalies had 30% of the vote. Must be something about the bendiness or the fact that they wear a full cage to protect those pretty faces.

Jordan Eberle, Maxim Lapierre, Brian Boyle, and Vincent Lecavalier all tied for 4th place.

I had to add a "Silver Fox" Category for the retirees, who included Steve Yzerman, Peter Forsberg, Steve Staios, and a special consideration for "Vintage Jaromir Jagr".

The New York Rangers were the most well represented with 5 players and 32%, with Lundqvist and Boyle being joined by Michael Del Zotto, Brandon Prust, and Dan Girardi.

Interesting answers: Tomas Kaberle, Alexander Ovechkin, Dustin Byfuglien.

In the spirit of the draft, in addition to Crosby, Ovechkin, and Lecavalier, Rick Nash and John Tavares rounded out the five First Overall picks represented.

2012 NHL Award Nominees: Lundqvist, Eberle, Joffrey Lupul, Erik Karlsson, Pekka Rinne, Evgeni Malkin.

Both NHL 13 Cover Vote Finalists, Claude Giroux and Rinne.

Stanley Cup Winners: Crosby, Patrick Sharp, Andrew Ladd, Kaberle, Brooks Orpik, Byfuglien, Malkin, Jonathan Toews, Dustin Penner.

Captains: Crosby, Lecavalier, Ladd, Ovechkin, Toews, Nash.

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A huge thank you to everyone who participated by sending in your answers either by e-mail or twitter, and to all the guys who I made really uncomfortable with my persistence. 

NHL's All Access: The Draft

Nail Yakupov



Jacob Trouba



Let's watch this beauty of an interview where Morgan Rielly looks terrified and Brian Burke is a giant sour-face.



And the sassiness of Gary Bettman comes out during the Jordan Staal trade.

Post-Draft News and Notes

- It is more than likely that Teemu Selanne is returning to the NHL and the Ducks for one more season.

- Dale Hunter is going back to the London Knights to be the head coach. Less stress and divas there. Or something.

- Bobby Ryan is back on the trade market. We should have known.

- The 2012-2013 season is gonna start on October 11th. Here is the schedule.

- Kerry Fraser pays tribute to his mother and all of the hockey moms out there in his latest article on TSN.ca.


Trades

- Flyers traded Sergei Bobrovsky to the Blue Jackets for three draft picks, including one in the 2012 draft.

- Stars traded Mike Ribeiro to the Capitals for Cody Eakin and a second-round pick in 2012.

- Ducks traded Lubomir Visnovsky to the Islanders for a second-round pick in 2013.

- Penguins traded Jordan Staal to the Hurricanes for Brandon Sutter, Brian Dumoulin and the eighth pick in 2012.

- Then the Penguins traded Zbynek Michalek to the Coyotes for Harrison Ruopp, Marc Cheverie and a third-round pick in 2012.

- Bruins traded Benoit Pouliot to the Lightning for Michel Ouellet and the no. 131 pick in the 2012 draft.

- The Leafs traded the rights to Jonas Gustavsson to the Jets for a conditional seventh round pick in 2013.

- Then the Leafs traded Luke Schenn to the Philadelphia Flyers for James van Riemsdyk.


Signings

- The Sharks signed Brad Stuart to a three year deal worth 10.8 million dollars.

- Oilers re-signed Lennart Petrell to a one-year contract extension.

- Detroit Red Wings re-signed Darren Helm to a four-year extension.

- Barret Jackman re-signed with the Blues for a three-year contract worth 9.5 million dollars.

- The Senators signed Erik Karlsson to a seven-year contract extension.

- Jarret Stoll and Colin Fraser re-signed with the LA Kings, three-year and two-year deal respectively.

- The Avalanche re-signed Matt Duchene to a two-year contract extension.

2012 NHL Entry Draft - What We Noticed

If you're curious about what we thought about the draft, check out the Twitter. Curtis had the floor for the first round of the draft and emotions ran high.

But if you're like us, the Draft was full of surprises and picks that made no sense and trades that shocked us.

Here are some things you should know that we learned about the draft...

- Ryan Murray was taken by the Edmonton Oilers.

The Columbus Blue Jackets do not exist. And never did.


- Nail Yakupov takes a call while being photographed.

He was probably shoe-less as well.


- Jordan Staal is still a Penguin. This trade never happened.


And Evgeni Malkin was traded to the Devils for Zach Parise straight up, yo.


- The Edmonton Oilers are actually run by Ryan Nugent-Hopkins who is the smartest person in that organization.



- Brian Burke made his pick and then dropped the mic. Like a boss.


And then promptly scared the crap outta Morgan Rielly.

"WE DON'T WEAR HATS, SON!"



- The Capitals picked a Swede, not a surprise there.

It was either nice hair or a Russian.


- Someone in the Boston Bruins organization is a troll.

And all of the Subbans totally approve.


- Griffin Reinhart has a very serious resting face.

No, seriously, that's his resting face.


- We really enjoyed the artsy way they photographed the Top Three picks.

So artistic.


- Mathew Dumba must really like the Minnesota Wild.

YEAH GET IT BOI, YOU REPRESENT THAT WILD!

- Honestly, you can always tell a Swede and a Finn.


Swede: hair, shirt shirt shirt and the white belt


Finn: FOREHEAD and forty-five repeating vowels in both names


- Top 3 GMs based on looks:

1) Steve Yzerman


2) Chuck Fletcher


3) Marc Bergevin


Boom.


- Gary Bettman photobombed the ONE-TWO-THREE pick picture

and he doesn't care at all. He's so done with this.


- Nail Yakupov got his eyebrows done by the same person who does (doesn't do) Zach Bogosian's eyebrows.



- Happiest draft pick who wasn't a Russian: Jacob Trouba.


Coincidentally, he is the mouth twin of Jeff Petry. And they're both American defensemen.

Awesome. And creepy.


- Tom Wilson.

We might have to become Capitals fans after seeing his pretty face and Mike Green-esque hair. Seriously thinking about it.


- Guy Boucher is so sassy.

You know he's judging Slater on how he puts on that jersey. "Oh, no you didn't. That's not how you put on a jersey. Son, you got some shit to learn."


- Radek Faksa.

We kind of love you.


- Teuvo Teravainen.

Solid pick. Solid name.


- High-fives all around. Us yinzers love the high-five.


Obviously.


- The End.