One-A-Day: Los Angeles Kings

Thanks to Sara for doing the 'flavor of the month' team, the LA Kings.

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Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings…



Sounds pretty damn good, right?

After season in which the Kings underachieved, and just barely made it into the playoffs, they now have the honor of being called THE Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings. To look at the team on paper at the start of last season, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the Kings hold this honor. Then the season started…and it seemed as though the Kings could not score goals to save their lives. Luckily, they have some fantastic defensive forwards and an amazing blueline. Oh. And I guess their number one goaltender is decent enough…

Not too big of a surprise that the Kings disappointing start to the season led to a change in their head coach. Bye bye Terry Murray, hello Darryl Sutter. Also not wholly surprising that it led to a pretty major movie being made leading up to the trade deadline. (Hello Jeff Carter…your cheeto tan might actually look normal in LA. Congratulations!) They ended the season better than they started it off…

Then the playoffs started…and suddenly, the team that everyone thought the Kings would be in the regular season appeared. Dustin Brown went into beast mode, and if it weren’t for the fact that Jonathan Quick is…well, Jonathan Quick, Brownie probably would’ve won the Conn Smythe. And a bunch of other guys decided to show up too! Dustin Penner was all, “Yeah, suck it haters, I love pancakes. But I also love to score goals, BOOM. Flapjacked.” Willie Mitchell was a staple on the blueline. Basically, the whole team chose the right time to come together, and bring their A-game.

They defeated the first, second, and third team in the West like they were the Blue Jackets, Islanders, and Oilers (Mean, I know. But I’m allowed to make those jokes because I am also a huge Oilers fan!). And the Devils gave them their biggest challenge, but they still pulled it off in the end, thereby becoming the Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings. An honor they will hold until sometime in 2013. Unless there’s a lockout. Then they hold it even longer! Or, you know…they could pull it off again, and actually win it again…consecutively! Become the first team to win the Stanley Cup two years in a row since Drew Doughty was in diapers. OK, I just got my Google on, and the last team to win two cups in a row was the Detroit Red Wings, in 1997 and 1998. Doughty would’ve been 7/8. So unless he had serious potty training issues, that makes no sense. I digress. I actually do think that the Kings have what it takes to win consecutive cups. At the very least, I’m excited to see how they do in the regular season. Will the “Stanley Cup hangover” affect them? I guess time will tell!




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General Manager - Dean “We're the flavor of the month. Six months from now I'll be an idiot again,” Lombardi. (This is direct quote from Mr. Lombardi himself, after the Kings won the cup. Admittedly, I may have called him an idiot a few times during the regular season. But I actually commend and respect him a lot for the risks he took in putting this team together. It took a long time, but it is now paying off, and props to Mr. Lombardi!)


Coach – Darryl “I wasn’t shoveling sh-t, but I had that day’’ Sutter (That is a quote from Mr. Sutter about where he was when he heard he got the job as head coach for the Kings. For more epic Sutter quotes, check this out: LINK. He is quite hilarious. And a damn good coach. I had my doubts when they named him as replacement for Terry Murray, but he damn sure proved me wrong. And I’m OK with it!)


Team Captain – Dustin “That’s why we f*cking play” Brown (Quote from after they won the Stanley Cup. Write that down. Brownie is probably the most adorable captain in the league. No scratch that. He absolutely is.)


Player(s) everyone should love – Uhhh, how about the whole team…because they WON the Stanley Cup?! But seriously, Dustin Brown gives it his all on the ice, is a genuinely amazing human being, made Jay Leno look like an idiot, and has the cutest wife and family. What’s not to love? (Shout out to Jonathan “How about this f*cking team right here” Quick, because I’m pretty sure the Kings wouldn’t even have made it to the post season if it weren’t for him. And by pretty sure, I mean there’s no way they would’ve made it to the post season without him. Plus he’s the most precious drunk ever.)

Player we don’t love – Uhhhh, how about none of them, because they WON the Stanley Cup?! OK fine…Jeff Carter…just because I can. Also I maybe feel a little bad for my Columbus dis earlier. (Stay strong Blue Jackets fans!)

Who they got – No one!

Who they lost – No one! At least no one important. Harsh, perhaps, but true. Basically the exact same team that won the Stanley Cup will be competing for the cup again. (Unless they lose Bernier…which could still happen. Which would be sad, but he didn’t really do much other than warm the bench and look pretty last year anyways.) Oh, and there was a change in one of their assistant coaches (hello Davis Payne!) Other than that, Lombardi pulled it off, and kept the team together!

Located at - Staples Center

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Hotness level – How about on a scale of 1 – 10, 10/10 because they WON the Stanley Cup?! (Is that getting old yet?)

But for real (pardon me while I put my “objectifying hockey players for their looks” glasses on), this team is quite good looking. Hell, I’d give them a 10/10 for Mike Richards alone (that boy be FINE. And he’s my favorite hockey player). Not to mention Jarret Stoll (and his abs), Dustin Penner’s pretty blue eyes, Jeff Carter’s butt, Matt Greene’s tattoo, Dustin Brown’s smile, etc. Deduction for the fugly facial hair most of the team had during the playoffs. Now let me take off my “objectifying hockey players for their looks” glasses, and say that I actually think every guy on this team seems to have a really cool personality. Bonus points. Add some points for the hilarious Funny or Die video that Richards, Greene, Kopitar, and Doughty did (deduct some points because Richards sucks at rapping). More points because Dustin Penner wins at Twitter. Points because Mike Richard’s dog is so damn sweet, and because Arnold is an adorable name for a dog. Deduction for the fact that so many Kings players went to the Twilight – Breaking Dawn premiere.

Put all of this to the power of 31, carry the 4, divide it by 49, square root it, and it equals………………………10/10. Can’t argue with math! I’ll just leave this here for you all to enjoy: