Los Angeles Kings
It was another decent season by the Kings. Jonathan Quick looked good. The trade for Dustin Penner was okay (not something we would do but it could still pan out, you never know). And there was pretty decent scoring.
Things looked good going into the playoffs.
Until Ryan O'Byrne decided that Anze Kopitar was the enemy and tackled him into the end boards and broke his ankle.
At least that's what we saw.
That and the hopes and dreams of the Kings and their fans rushing down the drain faster than a wedding ring in the movies.
The playoff games were amazing though. Almost every single one went into overtime and had us on the edge of our seats. Until Joe Thornton and his stupid face ruined it for us.
We thought that everything was going well for the Kings until Dean Lombardi took some of Dale Tallon's crazy pillz and traded Brayden Schenn and Wayne Simmonds and half of their gym equipment for Mike Richards.
That was a trade to be reckoned with. We hope, along with Kings fans, that this is the trade that works our for them...
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General Manager - Dean Lombardi
Coach - Terry Murray
Team Captain - the charitable Dustin Brown
Player(s) everyone should love - Rob Scuderi, he's the rock on the blueline
Player we don’t love - Kevin Westgarth only because of the hair
Who they got - Mike Richards, Simon Gagne & Colin Fraser
Who they lost - Wayne Simmonds, Brayden Schenn, Michal Handzus, Ryan Smyth & Alexei Ponikarovsky
Located at - Staples Center
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Hotness level - 7
Three reasons why: 2 pts. for Drew Doughty's smile, 3 pts. for Alex Martinez's whole face and 2 pts. for the Davis Drewiske scowl.
Our reason is mathematically accurate.
4 comments:
Okay this one is picture perfect, bitches. Picture perfect. Here's why:
Exhibit A: "Until Joe Thornton and his stupid face ruined it for us." Yes, yes he did. Him and his stupid face. Fer shure.
Exhibit B: "... until Dean Lombardi took some of Dale Tallon's crazy pillz..." Ummm, YEAH! Goddamn that bottomless Cialis Rx people. Florida doctors. Whaddaya gonna do?
Exhibit C: "Drew Doughty's smile..." Aw. You saved the end piece with the biggest blob of frosting for last. My Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Can you say "Contender"? I knew you could. Can hardly wait to properly introduce Senor Miguel Ricardo to the Mission skeeze bar scene next time they exact their revenge on the Sharks. Cue up the UFO at the Attic! And what a great way to break in the latest Mission Bar/Eatery du Jour: Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem.
I know I'm not the only Flyers fan who shed a tear with the Richards trade. 10/15 should be an interesting game.
And I guess the Kings aren't too concerned about Dry Island, since they chose Jarrett Stoll to show Richie around town. Just saying.
I'm still trying to get my head around what happened in Philly this summer...and not just cuz we got stuck with Carcillo. (Seriously...CARCILLO???)
Donut Drew and poor hobbly Zombietar are gonna come back fierce as hell this year and I think they might be the under-the-radar contender (at least under the radar to start). Richie has something to prove and the brass balls to do it.
@Jennifer: Carcillo = Bean Farts & Zest. Better get used to it. Your boyfren Stanley REALLY F'D UP THIS ONE. I think he'll mostly be a big fat stinky nuisance. Snag his usual per diem of retarded penalties at the worst possible times. And from an off-ice standpoint, he's probably the last thing Kaner needed at this point in his career. Let's hope he overdoes the deep-dish pizza and ends up not being dressed most of the time...
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