Buffalo Sabres
with new ownership they're suddenly a hot team and with the acquisition of Brad Boyes from St. Louis, they're only getting hotter
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Best Commercial Of The Night
Doritos
because that Pug is the cutest thing in the world
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The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award
Corey Perry
For giving birth to a healthy 9-pound baby named Ryder James Getzlaf and then playing a game that night.
(It's not creepy that we knows this since the Anaheim Ducks tweeted it the minute Perry and Getzlaf gave birth.)
4 comments:
Awesome. I have already FedEx'd a case of my favorite stretch mark anecdote to Mommy Perry plus tossed in some tubes of Bag Balm (a universal remedy for everything from jock itch to sensitive nipples from nursing) just to seal the deal.
Can hardly wait to see how he deals with shedding the extra baby weight. You go, girl!
@MouthGuard - Bag Balm is the bomb!
Those Sabres - woohoo!
Okay so I just got an update from Orange County and it's not looking good for New Mom Corey. Per my source, here's what's been going down during the past few days since The Big Day:
** Corey was filmed - FILMED - stealing bins of fan-donated "Hockey for Huggies" from the Honda Center vestiare. He apparently just up and made off with 5 of these bins in full view of fans, venue personnel, security, etc. Somebody overhead him say something like, "Eat me" at a cop who tried to stop him.
** Corey showed up unannounced and uninvited at a recent morning skate and started spontaneously boxing Bobby Ryan's ears without provocation or justification. Getzlaf had to pull him off Ryan:
G: "Honey, WTF?"
C: "He was supposed to show up this morning to feed the baby while I retreated to my wellness room to pump and listen to Winger power ballads, and he NEVER SHOWED UP! Deadbeat! My boobs feel like casaba melons! Gee, thanks, baby sitter!"
** At the same practice, Corey confronted George Parros thusly:
C: "Hey - what's the matter? Why are you avoiding me?"
P: "What? I don't know what you're talking about."
C: "Admit it, George. You don't find me sexy anymore. That's it, isn't it? You think I'm flabby and bloated and gross.
P: "Corey, please..."
C: "Shut up! Stop taking me for a fool, George. It's fine. I accept it. But remember what I said about the vagina lift. I'm having a complete rehaul down there. Nobody will ever be able to tell I squeezed out a 9-lb skunkape outta there by the time Dr. Steve puts his finishing touches on me. And let's just say that you're no longer first in line to check out the finished product in six months! Teemu just took your spot in cue, a-hole!"
Post-partum depression, anyone?
@MG-
I was wondering what happened after the baby was born but you've cleared it all up. And I think we know a pretty good doctor for him to see for this depression of his. He can't just go and attack Bobby Ryan all wily-nilly like. But bitch gotta get respect after popping out a 9lb thing.
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