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“Themed Parties; Is There Anything Better?”
In honor of Halloween rapidly approaching and Jonathan Toews’ wolverine-esque facial hair during the Stanley Cup run, my friend Dynamic Inertia and I wanted to take you on a magical journey of why we love when hockey players have themed or Halloween parties. We have also included some suggestions for players and teams if they are running out of time to throw something together for Halloween or need an emergency team bonding party.
Bright is Tight, yo
One of our favorite Tweeters and consistent healthy scratches, Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette, posted these lovely pictures from a party he held for a few friends. Not only is this an INGENIOUS idea for a party but it is executed to perfection. Let’s break down what makes this party so tight:
1.) Grey Goose? You know this party is going to be off to a good start.
2.) Solo cups are the international symbol for “party” or “underage”.
3.) Homemade fabric skirts are not only cheap so everyone can spend more money on Grey Goose but they are also very stylish and can be worn on more than one occasion; especially ones in neon/seizure colors.
4.) Beautiful white cabinets? You know this is his parent’s house. In true B.A. style, Biz is partying while mom and pop are away.
5.) There is a monkey. ‘Nuf said.
6.) Bright headbands are a must in this party atmosphere. When in doubt, band it out!
7.) DOUBLE TIGHT AND BRIGHT LEGGINGS! This girl has it all going on. We’d invite her to our party and she’d probably become our new best friend.
Now onto the beautiful music man.
1.) A laptop and a system hook up?! Someone is spending his limited money wisely and sharing the wealth with his party patrons. He’s becoming tighter by the second!
2.) Beer; the staple of the party.
3.) Every bright and tight outfit needs an accessory that says “I’m out of place but I wanted a reason to be worn” and that my reader friends, is what this Viking hat is all about. Other acceptable items would be: a pirate hook-hand, scuba gear or a fake mustache. Not to mention it is getting us excited for a Viking boat ride with Biz as he blasts an 808 drum in our ear. So romantic…
4.) The jacket. Not everyone can be a detail-oriented Goodwill shopper but if Biz was your man, you better believe you’d have some of the sweetest outfits in Arizona.
5.) A party can never be truly bumpin’ until the host removes/does not wear a shirt at some point. While there is some definition on that beautifully tanned skin, we’d still do our laundry on that washboard any day.
We love him because: He cares about the homeless and throws parties that are off the hook. We are a little disheartened that his signature Speedo did not make an appearance at the Bright is Tight party but the hat more than makes up for it, boom.
Halloween in the Windy City (circa 2009)
Finally, a day that you can dress up and pretend to be whoever or whatever you want to be! When we are young all we want is candy on this day and when we are older, we still want some candy but mostly mixed in with booze. Take some notes from the champions to learn through pictures why we love this holiday.
It was only a matter of time before Brent Seabrook tore away those hockey shorts for a loincloth and we could not be happier. Also, we have Niklas Hjalmarsson as the semi-pro now the $3.5 million for 4 years semi-pro (thanks San Jose!) and his adorable girlfriend. Last but not least we have the always-cute Troy Brouwer but we would have loved to have more of that Scottish kilt showing please.
Ah, Harry and Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. We are surprised that Captain Marvel appears twice in this post without any stone-cold dagger eyes. See, Jonathan Toews is a normal person after all! I guess that is what happens when you get a concussion at the same time as Adam Burish tears his ACL.
On Halloween, you can be your favorite basketball player in a slightly controversial way OR pay homage to your own coach! Way to go Patrick Sharp, you got Q’s mustache down! Also, P. Kane we all know your arm muscles are not that defined, please stop PhotoShopping (Sarah Spain’s) our pictures.
We love them because: Even if you don’t celebrate Halloween, the Blackhawks put on the best visual zoo we have ever seen.
Every Day Themed Parties
Sadly, Halloween comes only once a year and we do understand that not everyone celebrates it either. But there is no reason that everyday of a fan or player’s life cannot be a themed party!
Everyday is a party with the San Jose Shark face-painter!
He wears it to work, out to dinner and hell; he even can pass it off as a helmet when he’s riding his Vespa! Not to mention he often is seen hanging with David Puddy in the offseason. Can someone say V.I.P.?
We love you because: You’ve got to support the team and no matter how many people heckle you; face-paint is always more frightening than no face-paint.
The Sean Avery Douche Bag Party
Don’t you dare think you can bring Smirnoff to this party; Cîroc only! However, wearing your best Jersey Shore outfit or being bedazzled from head to toe in Ed Hardy is perfectly acceptable. At times he may look like Clark Kent but he will never save you from danger. Rather he’ll taunt you until you jump off a cliff yourself. Everyday for Sean Avery is a douche bag party.
We love you because: You’re trying, but just a little too hard. Ok, a lot too hard but at least you are aware of it.
Costumes on the Fly
So you waited until the last minute to pick out a Halloween costume? No problem! Here are some quick fixes:
Ilya Kovalchuk – King Midas
Just be sure to sit in the corner and not enjoy yourself the entire time.
Marian Hossa – Daniel Craig as James Bond
Wait, don’t change a thing! You NAILED IT!
Bobby Ryan – Adam Banks from The Mighty Ducks Trilogy
Are you sure this is not you in a self-fulfilling prophecy movie, Cake-Eater?
Joe Pavelski & Kris Versteeg – Go as each other!
While many of us believed they were separated at birth, the media did not catch on until the Western Conference Finals in 2010.
Rick Nash – The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Can you honestly not see the resemblance?
Alex Ovechkin – Attila the Hun
Just a few minor alterations and BOOM!
A Party?! What Should I Wear?!
Tired of line shuffling to create that spark? Fun party themes will have your teams gelling like Magellan! We got your back coaches; here are some suggestions:
Philadelphia Flyers – Librarians and Barbarians
This is an easy one since they already are the Broad Street Bullies and most of them are quite frightening in appearance. However there is some wiggle room for Jeff Carter and Mike Richards to dress up as sexy librarians.
Edmonton Oilers – The Young and the Restless
Ah the player-fan party! Where the new hope players of Hall, Eberle and Paajarvi are placed on pedestals and the older players are thrown into the brigs. Restless Oilers fans will have a ball asking questions before they start believing in their team again. Also there is a mini game of keep the keys away from Khabibulin at the end of the night.
Detroit Red Wings – Around The World
An ode to the team who’s player’s last names cannot fit on the back of their jerseys! Every player makes a drink from their respective country and decks out a section of The Joe with stereotypical things. Henrik Zetterberg’s kiosk will always be the most popular because he’s giving away pictures from his wedding.
Calgary Flames – This Is Why I’m Hot
Much like a play on their name, you dress up as things are hot. Examples: a stove, the sun or anything that will take the focus away from their faces. Except you Rene Bourque, you can just show up with no shirt on, thanks.
Ottawa Senators – 300
Show some pride and get your act together, 3-5-1! Nothing says team work and chemistry like tossing babies off cliffs and sending overly-hyped forwards into a bottomless pit. THIS.IS.OTTAWA!
