NHLers Theme Songs (Pt. 2)

Amazingly we had two people send us suggestions for NHLers and their potential theme songs. It must be something that as fans we think about a lot.

This post is from Jennifer.

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LAST NIGHT A DJ SAVED MY PLUS/MINUS

If you’re anything like me (and let’s face it, if you’re reading this, we both know you are), little things make you curious. Such as...what does the blue line paint taste like? How colorblind and fashionally dysfunctional can 30 men in the same room be? And what the heck do these modern day warriors listen to when they’re getting their loins girded to take to the ice? That question brings me to speak with you today.

We all know music is a powerful force. It can bring people together in joy and rapture, it can mend the deepest hurt and it can give you a reason not to interact with your fellow passengers on a plane or train. It can also raise the blood pressure, focus the mind and drive our roommates batshit crazy.

Current Dallas Star Furry Burrito once spoke with the local paper regarding the use of music in the Blackhawk locker room and made mention of Duncan Keith’s penchant for, as he put it, ‘death metal’. While this made Dunks suddenly desperately attractive in my eyes, upon further research I discovered that this ‘Death Metal’ was actually more Seether and less Slayer. Dunks fell back into the ‘on a dare if I was doing Jager bombs’ category and Burrito resumed his throne as King Clueless of Musical Genre Land. (He also holds a Dukedom in Seriously You’re Wearing That Outside? Ville).

I very easily could’ve researched what the following players listen to when strapping on those shinguards, taping up those pads and generally admiring their physiques in the mirror, but I can pretty much assume from the small amount of digging I have done that the reality would be terribly disappointing. (Baby Toews? “Right Above It” by Lil Wayne? Really? REALLY?) I have no doubt I can come up with much better suggestions...let’s start with the easy ones...


Sidney Crosby--”Army of Me”, Bjork
While there are a lot of possibilities for our pouty young phenom, I think judging by his recent escapades someone slipped him some Ice-landic beats. Plus I love the idea of the rest of the Pens being confounded by this at full blast.


Ilya Kovalchuk--”The Hand That Feeds”, NIN
Well, that one writes itself, doesn’t it?


Mike Richards/Jeff Carter--or if you’d rather Jeff Carter/Mike Richards--”Me Against the Music”, Britney Spears featuring Madonna
Since we know their stalls are next to each other (tantrums WILL be thrown!), they could easily listen together, each using one earbud of a set of headphones. I bet for playoff games they could cordon off a part of the equipment room, lock the door and work on their tandem dance moves. You know they do it. You know they do. All my people on the floor, let me see you dance!


Tyler Seguin (see also Taylor Hall)--”Babysitter”, Morningwood
Oh wait, that’s really more for me. Yeaaaah....”Baby, you’re such a baby, and one thing I chose to admit, is that your mama mama mama, shouldn’t let me baby-sittt...” Look it up, it’s a good one.


King Henrik--”Tick Tick BOOM!”, The Hives
Among the myriad of things the Swedes do well (fashion, furniture, deliciously seductive goaltenders), music rises above them all. You name the style, they’ve got it covered thanks to a *gasp* belief in the importance of the arts!! There are many rev-em-up Hives songs but this one would get our Rikky ready for battle best. Just don’t forget to protect that moneymaker!!


Jonny Toews--apparently our child captain has two favorite genres of music, country and the aforementioned rap. Unfortunately, the “country” to which he refers is that generic Big Hat style recently popular with soccer moms, not exactly showing the coolness or creativity one would expect from such a talented young man. I offer the following options for him:

Country Division: not terribly easy as most ‘Real’ country is more about drinking and broken hearts and such...but if one expands the definition a bit, one can suggest the magnificently rousing “Johnny Appleseed” by the iconic and brilliant Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros. Plus his name is in it so he can sing along.

Rap Division: nothing wrong with Lil Wayne but there’s something very...um...UNthreatening (and frankly, cliched) about picturing a Canadian white boy athlete ‘jamming out’ to him. If he wants to instill fear in his teammates, he needs to break out “You Can’t Kill Me” by Nas...remember, Nas says, anyone can get it at any time. Watch out, Blackhawks, your leader just sonned you. I’m looking in your direction, Troy Brouwer.


Alex Ovechkin--”Assassin”, Muse
Lord only knows what kind of music Ovie digs, but this tune has a lot of great reasons to be paired with him. One, it’ll for sure get him skating all speedily. Second, he kind of looks like a creepy assassin. Third, the word ass is in there twice. Fitting, methinks.


Ryan Miller--”Born Free”, M.I.A.
Sure for the moment Thomas Vanek is the Sabres’ golden boy, what with his two goals delivering that first win at home but don’t forget our favorite American Boy (dammit, Estelle!)--sore hip or not, he’s got winning on his mind and this rager from that loopy rich girl/poor girl will get him back on his game. And he was, in fact, Born Free...in the USA.


Come on girls, don’t let me have all the fun....