So that's who you have to choose between to go on this date.
-&-
Door #1
Who: Nicklas Backstrom
Date: you meet him outside Verizon Center and he takes inside to the VIP area where he buys you and him a beer and you realize that this is a Wizards game. In the VIP area, Alex, Mike Green and Alex Semin are waiting for the two of you.
OR
Door #2
Who: Alex Ovechkin
Date: he picks you up outside your home, drives too fast on the highway and then takes you to the Washington Wizards game where you're sitting between Alex, Nicklas Backstrom, Mike Green and Alex Semin.
Who do you pick? Choices, choices, so many choices.
8 comments:
Nicklas, Nicklas, Nicklas! :D
This is how I envision this night playing out:
Arrive with Nick
Ovie weasels himself between me and Nick and proceeds to hit on Nick. Nick, slightly embarassed, tells him to chill out and so Ovie turns, deciding to immobilize the competition. He starts to very creepily hit on me.
As usual, aware of everything going on around him, Mike notices and starts to chat with me to alleviate the awkwardness. We bond over discussion of our respective tattoos and with the continuously flowing beers I begin to get flirty and make mention of other tattoos that may or may not be currently on view. We share giggles every time Semin's name comes up (ahem) and before we know it the final buzzer sounds and we notice that Nick and Ovie's chairs have long since been empty. Mike offers me a ride home and I reward his chivalry with an offer of a 'nightcap'. Get it? Night...CAP.
So basically, my choices are between a male lesbian and an ape.
Choices, so many choices...
Ugh . . . Nicklas. Only because Ovechkin looks like a foot.
What was that? What Is Love? Why, all of them of course! Simply so I could laugh at them all evening. And here it is for you, courtesy of YouTube. 'Cause like of course it was all captured on FILM and everything. Dur.
Alternatively, I might lock them all in a cage stark naked beforehand, and watch them "prep" for said date with their electric nosehair clippers. Then, I would throw bologna at their asses and make them watch an R. Kelly "Trapped In A Closet" marathon.
I'm with Jennifer - let's ditch these fools and take Mike Green home instead. Maybe he'll give me a ride on his new Vespa. Manly.
Am I allowed to slam my fingers in a car door as an alternative? It couldn't possibly be more painful than having to spend an evening with either one of them.
I pick Nicklas. We're not even going to leave the house. I'm going to tie him down & WASH HIS FUCKING HAIR!!!
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