We know that this is impossibly late buuuut if you're like us then you haven't even sent in your roster yet. Cause we're that awesome.
Just to let you guys in on a few things: our lair moved so that's why we've been impossible and it's been hard to post then we went on a weekend vacation to Chicago for the preseason game and then grad school. So we apologize for the lateness of the posts and our lack of excitement.
Our Sexy Picks (for their skillz, duh):
Centers
David Backes - St. Louis Blues
- he may be a hothead but he can score when he's not dropping the gloves
Dave Bolland - Chicago Blackhawks
- yes he is a shutdown center but one that can score, quite often
Brad Boyes - St. Louis Blues
- his 43 goals in 07/08 were not a fluke, we expect more from him
Derick Brassard - Columbus Blue Jackets
- a year removed from shoulder surgery and was always a scorer, we have high hopes
Sam Gagner - Edmonton Oilers
- can't be worse than last season, can only go up because he has way too much talent
Mikko Koivu - Minnesota Wild
- has to get it done because who else would feed Martin Havlat?
Bryan Little - Atlanta Thrashers
- top line center? we think so at least
Matt Lombardi - Nashville Predators
- what happens when you are the offense? you hopefully step up to the plate
TJ Oshie - St. Louis Blues
- the Blues are going places this season and he is one of the reasons why
John Tavares - New York Islanders
- Steve Stamkos...everyone's been making the comparison...we kinda agree with it
RJ Umberger - Columbus Blue Jackets
- we may not like him but that doesn't mean that he doesn't know how to score
Travis Zajac - New Jersey Devils
- two words: Kovalchuk/Parise wingers
Left Wingers
Evander Kane - Atlanta Thrashers
- rookie last season but we feel that with enough support this season he should be a good pick
Nikolai Kulemin - Toronto Maple Leafs
- just pick him, do it
Milan Lucic - Boston Bruins
- injury last season hampered him but we have faith that this season his PIMs will be up and so will his points
James Neal - Dallas Stars
playing with Brad Richards has its perks
Mason Raymond - Vancouver Canucks
- someone's gotta be able to score without the Sedins
James van Riemsdyk - Philadelphia Flyers
- so-so season last year, expect better things we think
Right Wingers
Claude Giroux - Philadelphia Flyers
- plays on power play and with Danny Briere
Martin Havlat - Minnesota Wild
- last season wasn't so hot for the winger and barring an injury...
Ales Hemsky - Edmonton Oilers
- playing with either Jordan Eberle, Taylor Hall and Magnus Paajarvi or all three, why not?
Patric Hornqvist - Nashville Predators
- (see Matt Lombardi)
Jason Pominville - Buffalo Sabres
- consistent and usually forgotten by fantasy poolies, unless your roommate is a Sabres fan
Mikael Samuelsson - Vancouver Canucks
- might be taken earlier but if not, do it!
Devin Setoguchi - San Jose Sharks
- has something to prove this season and now that he has a new captain, maybe?
Dan Sexton - Anaheim Ducks
- he doesn't know any better than to score, still too young to realize
Drew Stafford - Buffalo Sabres
- he came into camp ready to rumble and is all about this
Kris Versteeg - Toronto Maple Leafs
- could be a hit, could be a biiiig miss but we are taking the chance on him, we think he has the chops to score
Defensemen
Michael Del Zotto - New York Rangers
- power play quarterback? quite possibly
Christian Ehrhoff - Vancouver Canucks
- definitely is the power play quarterback
Kurtis Foster - Edmonton Oilers
- had a pretty okay year in Tampa Bay and is now on a team that has the ability to score, a lot
Mark Giordano - Calgary Flames
- he's a winner, just pick it. he never wants to go to Russia again
Victor Hedman - Tampa Bay Lightning
- had a bad season but he's too good to stay unproductive
Erik Johnson - St. Louis Blues
- same as Hedman, too good not to be picked
Erik Karlsson - Ottawa Sentators
- will be under the tutelage of Sergei Gonchar, late round pick
Ryan Suter - Nashville Predators
- plays with captain Shea Weber and will get his sloppy seconds but even those aren't bad
Ryan Whitney - Edmonton Oilers
- you can say that we are biased (cause we are) but he's on a team that actually seems to be going somewhere
Marek Zidlicky - Minnesota Wild
- only defenseman that the Wild have that can score (sort of) and will more than likely be on the power play
Goalies
Dan Ellis - Tampa Bay Lightning
- new city, new contract and a goalie pushing from behind and one in front of him that has concussion issues
Brian Elliott - Ottawa Senators
- will be the number one after Pascal Leclaire breaks something
Antero Niittymaki - San Jose Sharks
- is number one in San Jose, with good defense it can happen
Pekka Rinne - Nashville Predators
- Nashville is usually over-looked but Pekka is too good to not pick
Cam Ward - Carolina Hurricanes
- a forgettable season last year can be a boon to him and his win column
Be wary of:
- sophomores who had great rookie seasons
- players who only show up in the second half
- those that signed that new big contract, they can never be trusted
- rookies who are the second coming of Wayne Gretzky
- men in long trench coats
4 comments:
GRAD School???? :) Srlsy???? OMG.
Bookmark my contact info, trollops. I can USE your "expertise"... ;) ha ha hah haaaaahhhhhh (not) Yay basket weavers!!!!
Okay David Backes. Him and his awesome (ex-stripper?) wife ADORE pets so BACK OFF. M'kay? He's up there with Brent Burns' reptile fetish. LOVE THIS LOVE Jon Hamm even more. For lots and lots of vapid, shallow reasons.
Okay Dave Bolland. M'kay? He's a stutterer. SO WHAT?!?! BACK the F off, M'kay? Really. Srsly. He's awesome and talented and hot and stutter-free convo isn't the be-all-and-end-all of all functional relationships you bitches. Stutterers are SICK in the bedroom, dumdums!!!! Do I have to spell it OUT for you??? LOVE him. The Rat. RESPECT!
John Tavares? Rilly? Gross. He's the asshole over whom I poured my killer Future's garlic mashed potatoes at 3am in the Annex last year. Can you say "overrated?" I knew you could!!! Pretty soon, him and BRITTNEY Hall will be starring in their very own reality series on VH-1, whereas Bob Hall and Doug Eberle (sorry, the only "Jordan" I know has a last name spelled, S-T-A-L-L) as in, "BOB & DOUG" will be kickin' it old school and showing their (lame) "class" of rejects how to use a church key and lick some pussy. GoDDAMNNNNNN.
Evander Motherfucking Kane: Oh. Fuck. YES. Come to Mama and loofa her back while you're at it, darlin'...
James vanR: barfgagvomitpukebarfgagvomitpukeewewewewewewgrossgrossgrossgrossgross. Blech.
Claude Giroux = Danny B's BITCH. Pretends he's vaguely French-Canadian and totally pretends he has red hair. FAUX METAL!!!
Devin Setoguchi WISHES he was BoyleBoy. A thoroughly ridiculous person, and an even dorkier hockey player. Go wash my hotrod, dumbass.
Drew Stafford: OMG. You naughty, naughty little bitch. Go tune my guitar. And do something about that tramp stamp above your left buttock. Can you say "turn off"? I knew you could. SUCH a shame. You had SUCH an AWESOME ASS when you were in juniors. Didn't you read my tutorial?
Michael Del Zotto: Some dickhead talked him into forsaking his lasagna for some Camp al-Qaida Bulemic Gary Roberts Bullshit Horror Movie so now he's forever tainted. Send this poor snookums a crate full of JetPuffs. Charge it to ME. Poor baby.
Cam Ward = The George Jones of Goalies. Can hardly wait for him to be arrested by state troopers on a lawn mower completely and utterly SHITFACED on corn liquor and bootleg/backyard vanilla. Paul Maurice can kiss my sweet ass on his billionth Nicorette IV treatment. Oh, and Paul: Those Bylsma knock-offs truly DO make you look more "Asian!!!"
Grezky reference is true dat. Such a perv. It's hopeless. Me loves you. xxx MG
GodDAMMITTT Blogger!
I'm not even drunk.
Reallu!!!! Don't hate me!!!!
Dear Blogger:
Please stop posting my stupid comments like twice and thrice and shit. It's majorly lame and embarrassing. You keep telling me my comments are "too large" (whoa - too large!) and then you go and post them twice+. Should I wear XXXXXLLLLL condoms or maybe learn to comment in braille before I comment here? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Ugh. Ridiculous. So Sorry People. I love this blog. Really, I do...
We helped ya out MG, don't worry about the double posting. Shit happens, haha.
Post a Comment