Columbus Blue Jackets
The Jackets landed the biggest coaching fish out there by hiring Scott Arniel right from the get-go. Seriously, the Cup hadn't even been won and he was their coach. Then Dan Hinote was added to the coaching staff.
They are a tough team to beat (unless you're the Red Wings) off the scoreboard, we mean.
With Derek Dorsett, Jared Boll and Mike Commodore leading the team in fighting majors, the Jackets would not be pushed around.
Now, Rick Nash is an amazing winger and we want him to be with Sidney Crosby in Pittsburgh but he has to stop hurting other players just so that he doesn't have to come to our parties.
Our parties are amazing, Mr. Nash.
For the Jackets to make the postseason again, three things must happen. One, Steve Mason should lost some weight and get back into his Calder-winning form. Two, Jakub Voracek and Derick Brassard (and the other youngins) better step it up. And three, Scott Arniel will be the savior coach the Jackets have been looking for.
Good luck, boys.
General Manager - Scott Howson
Coach - Scott Arniel
Team Captain - Rick 'fatty' Nash
Player(s) everyone should love - Grant Clitsome, two reasons: he's freaking adorable and that last name...
Player we don’t love - RJ Umberger...former Flyer, pew pew
Who they got - Ethan Moreau
Who they lost - Nathan Paestch, Derek McKenzie and Brendan Bell
Located at - Nationwide Arena
Hotness level (on a scale from 1 to 10): about a 6
We're being nice this year, all teams get at least above a 5 unless they're hideously ugly (or employs a bunch of unnaturally follicly-challenged men). A lot of the players are attractive, even Jakub Voracek with his post-pubescent acne and wild mane of blonde hair.