Have you ever wondered what would happen if some of the NHL's worst behaved and biggest dick players were shoved into a house together?
And we made it happen.
Welcome to the Bad NHL Boys Club, where alcohol influences everything and bad attitudes reign.
Here's the lineup:
New York Rangers forward and a self-described diva. He loves being the center of attention and causing trouble.
Stanley Cup winner with the Chicago Blackhawks and a lush. You can't keep him sober for very long.
You can't spell 'drama' without this Montreal Canadiens goaltender. He's emotionally unstable yet vain enough to not realize.
The Washington Capitals forward is too pretty to be a hockey player. Unfortunately he knows it.
Mean-spirited Nashville Predators defenseman who is never in a good mood. Unless he's hanging out with Dion Phaneuf.
New captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs and a teddy bear. He used to be more badass but now isn't so much.
Stanley Cup runner-up and captain of the Philadelphia Flyers. He's a natural-born mediator, always wanting people to just get along.
Episode One: Meeting Of The Minds
This is the house that the seven housemates will be living in, pretty spiffy eh?
Sean Avery was the first to arrive, dragging his suitcases into the house.
Carey Price and Shea Weber were the next ones.
Carey is already almost in tears, "I didn't really want to leave my house but my agent said I had to."
Both Shea and Sean stared at him.
Then Brooks Laich and Mike Richards arrive, jostling through the door and pushing each other until Mikey gives up and just lets him through.
The last to arrive are Dion Phaneuf and Patrick Kane. Dion arrived with less flourish than Patty.
Patty stumbled through the door with sunglasses on, a greasy haircut and a bottle of Windsor, "What up bitches?"
No one says a word back.
Then our host, Pierre McGuire crashes the party.
He stands too close to Shea Weber as he starts his speech.
"Welcome to the Bad NHL Boys Club. You are going to be here for the next seven weeks with six other guys who are pretty much just like you. Hehehehehehehehe, I love it." Then he clapped his hands, "Let's go on a tour."
First is the giant foyer where they met. There's a spiral staircase leading up to the long hallway with an open game room on one side and their separate bedrooms on the right.
Patty flops down on the one bed, "Mine." He doesn't see the death-gaze leveled at him by Brooks.
getting a little courage in him, Brooks sits on the end. "I wanted it. Why do you get it?" He huffs a little bit, "This isn't fair."
Stepping in, Mikey pats Brooks on the shoulder. "He did claim it first."
With a dramatic sigh, Brooks stands up and pointedly ignores Patty's smug smile.
Then Pierre leads them back downstairs and outside where they are met by a tanned and sweaty man tending to the yard.
Pierre puts a hand on the man, "This is the gardener." His leering gaze drops lower.
Mikey shifty-eyes at the other guys with him, "Does he have a name?"
Shrugging Pierre glances at the gardener. "No. He's foreign, doesn't need a name."
Then they are led around to the back of the house, where the pool is. There is another man working by the pool, skimming the leaves out.
Pierre sidles up to him, a hand on the man's lower back.
"And this" he clears his throat "is the poolboy."
Everyone is speechless.
Dion stage-mutters to Shea, "Guess he doesn't have a name either."
Shea just grins, "Don't think he needs one."
The group is led back into the house. "Please unpack your belongings and then you can set about the house and do whatever you want. This is a vacation, no hockey allowed. Have fun." And Pierre is gone.
Within an hour, Dion and Shea are sitting in the pool and striking up a bond that can only be described as "picking sides".
Carey is trying to talk up the poolboy but it doesn't look like he is listening.
And Brooks and Patty are on the brink of destruction.
This city never had a chance.
Tune in next Sunday for Episode Two.
They terrorize a bar and someone is (almost) kicked out. How can you not watch this disaster?