Friday, April 2, 2010

Date Night Friday: Date Fail

There are times when a date just doesn't live up to your standards or expectations. He could have bad teeth or talks too much about his mother or whatever.

But he's a dud and that's all you really need to know. There is no compatibility with this individual.

These are the potential date fails that we foresee happening with these certain players.

Of course it is all subjective....

-&-


WHY THIS DATE IS DOOMED TO FAIL


Matt Cooke: you would wake up in a coma the next day and not know what happened



Derek Roy: he would take you to a bar and end up taking home a guy instead of you



Vinny Lecavalier: he would bitch about the service everywhere you went



Drew Doughty: he would be more concerned with the nachos and hot dogs than you



Joe Thornton: he would bring Slappy on the date



Logan Couture: when you two would kiss, he would bite you by accident



Brad Richards: Vinny Lecavalier would come along to the date



Andrew Cogliano: he’s too clueless to remember when your date was



Shane Doan: you wouldn’t be able to distinguish between him and
his horses



Jaroslav Halak: date goes okay until his agent shows up and Tweets about it



Brooks Orpik: because he would stare the whole time, like the whole date



Anze Kopitar: he would try to eat your brains on the date...because he's a zombie



Corey Perry: the date ends as soon as he puts on the fairy wings



Miikka Kiprusoff: whole date would be a glare-off and he definitely wins



Craig Adams: he wouldn’t show up until May



-&-


So, which date would you go on despite the warnings given above? If any of course.

And do you have any ideas for DATE!FAILS that we neglected to mention?

14 comments:

abby :) said...

i would go on a date with Joe Thorton for the sole reason of meeting slappy. hahaha

The Specialist said...

Abby, as a religious Sharks fan, I solute you because that was my first reaction. xDDD And then I'd say I would date Perry, even though that violates my teal religion, for the sake of seeing the kid in fairy wings.

hockeyimbf said...

What about a Mike Green date fail? For playing with a stuffed teddy bear named Gary? Check out his Caps Cribs episode. Gary the Bear. Grown ass man playing with stuffed animals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIhfosni7b8

Tillie said...

Brooks Orpik.

His mix of cluelessness and "wtf?" stare always brightens up the interview segments between periods.

HockeyFireChick said...

@hockeyimbf: key words you put in your post: GROWN ASS MAN. mmm. haha... i read your blog and I know you are soo taken by the dude. hehehe :o)
My pick would have to be Brad Richards and VinnyL, just because I'd so be down if both of them came along on the date. I can do the drama queen thing for at least one night. ;o)

alexandra said...

I would go for the Joe Thornton-Slappy combo date, no question. (Thanks to the post, I wound up re-watching the next Slappy-Joe ad as well... I kind of love Joe Thornton for them. I can't help it.)

As for date breakers? Anything remotely approaching Carcillo's facial hair would get a door slammed in the date's face almost immediately.

Cay-Dizzle said...

Logan Couture. Hands down. I would totally be okay with getting bitten.

Geniya said...

I would go on a date with Matt Cooke. For sure. Coma-induced nights of pleasure=sign me up! Especially for Matt.

Shanny said...

I'm O.K. with the Richy/Vinny date. If there's a mechanical bull involved I could scratch at least 6 things off my bucket list ;).

ANovak017 said...

The fail for Craig was absolutely hilarious.
I'd go with Joe Thornton for the sole reason he's a huge teddy bear..and his interviews are always funny.

ricki said...

ok, could you please, please, please make a date night friday for jordin tootoo. all i know is that there would be some igloos and seal pup slaying involved..

India said...

Richards/Lecavalier combo... so so wrong but so right. Maybe he wouldn't bitch about the service if Richards was there...

Goaliegirl said...

Kipper for sure, I could stare at him all night.. hubba hubba

Gabrielle said...

Ugh. Anze Kopitar looks like a rapist. He scares the crap outta me.