Pimps In Chi-Town

Um, yeah. What disturbs us most is the fact that Jonny obviously had that orange suit tailored to fit him. And the fact that they do look kinda hot...

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Last night, Drew Doughty laid a great hip-check on Alex Burrows.



Wonder where he learned that from?



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Chris Kunitz shorthanded amazingness.



Where did this come from?

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The Anaheim Ducks finally won a game. They beat the Canucks 7-2 after Vancouver had a 2-0 lead. Bobby Ryan and Corey Perry each had 2 goals and an assist and James Wisniewski had 3 assists.

This goal from Joffrey Lupul was priceless.



"It's just one of those nights."

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Matt Duchene, shorthanded goal.



He may have only 2 goals so far but they're amazing goals. We are so proud of him.

Date Night Friday: Dion Phaneuf

We asked Henrik who we should do for a Flames special date night and she said Dion Phaneuf. We were kinda eh but then she said that we had to get back onto the Dion Bandwagon again. So we did.

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Name
Dion Phaneuf


Nicknames
D, Double Dion, Neufy


Number
3


Team
Calgary Flames



Age/DOB
24 / April 10th, 1985


Birthplace
Edmonton, AB


Interests
dressing like a male gigolo, flirting with Jarome Iginla and smoking



Random Fact
is in fact a teddy bear when it comes to children



What Happens On The Date
You meet Dion at the Flames practice rink in your cutest outfit including a coat with the fur hood and matching gloves. Dion meets you in the parking lot with a pair of pink ice skates and this shit-eating grin on.

Inside the rink, the two of you skate hand in hand by yourselves as he talks about himself and what he does for a living. There is some 80's love ballad playing over the speaker system as he spins you in a circle around him. After about a half hour of skating, Dion suggests that the two of you take a break for some snacks. In the concourse, he takes you to the concession stand and buys you a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a soft pretzel. You sit in the stands and watch a pee-wee team take the ice. After the game, Dion walks you out to your car and it's twilight out. He head-nods at you and says, "Can I kiss you?"



Was It A Satisfactory Date?

As usual, you decide the end of this date. We aren't sure if we would let him kiss us but if we hadn't had a lot of action in a while then we would.

What would you do?

There's Weather Outside Of Canada?

Commercials from WGN featuring Patrick Sharp and Duncan Keith of the Chicago Blackhawks.

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In case you didn't already know, Evgeni Malkin will be out of the Penguins lineup for a while with a shoulder strain.

We were going to title this post 'Step Back From That Ledge My Friend' but we already titled one that so we gave up.

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Eric Brewer played his first game this season after having back surgery.

We couldn't be happier to see him on the St. Louis blueline even if they did lose in a shutout.

Yay Captain!

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Surprisingly, ESPN came out with a nice article about Dustin Penner. We've always liked him even if he was and still is fat. (All Dustins are fat, just fyi).

3 Ass = 1 Goal

Thanks to Bob Errey for the title of the post.

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If you're looking for a good Flames blog then we've got one for you. It's called Hit The Post. We think they're pretty funny and worth the read.

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Since we stalk TSN.ca, we found this video of Fleury playing in his Kermit the Frog mask.

Video.

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Kevin Weekes is a strange man.


He makes up nicknames for players. Article. See if you can figure out what NHL-er owns an unusual nickname.

Serge
Birthday
West
Randy
Perry
El
Hills
Albert
Warm and Easy
Lake
Erse Kin and Fire
Christmas
Boll and Chain
R2D2
Staff infection
Tonya
Crème

Gilbert Brule
Josh Harding
Bob Errey
Dave Bolland
David Clarkson
Zach Parise
Marc Savard
Adam Pardy
Travis Zajac
Bryce Salvador
Drew Stafford
Evgeny Artyukhin
Sam Gagner
Dan Ellis
Rich Peverley
John Erskine
Patrick Eaves

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These are the rookies that NHL.com thinks are staying in the NHL. Article.

And then this is who TSN.ca thinks will stay. Article.

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Rob Scuderi was fined for his hit on Jason Chimera. It was deemed to be a low and dangerous hit.

It was a pretty awesome hit.

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The Avalanche love playing house with each other. Paul Stastny is housing a rookie in the form of TJ Galiardi. Then Adam Foote is keeping Matt Duchene in his basement. And Darcy Tucker is keeping Ryan O'Reilly as well.

"I know how 'Footy' took in 'Duch,' and 'Tucks' took in O'Reilly, but it's pretty funny how the guys talk about how Paulie took me in, when we're only two years apart."
- T.J. Galiardi

So cute.

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Riley Cote likes to tattoo people. Would you trust this man with putting permanent ink in your skin? We don't think we would.


(thanks to Ann for the link and the video)

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GASP! Kris Letang cut his hair!!! OH NOES!!!!!


Just kidding. Do we care? Not really. Noodles thinks it looks better but LeTude is distraught and so are most of the Lemangs.

(thanks to reader Nicole for the video)

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Another victim of the Swine Flu is Ladislav Smid. We wish that hockey boys would stop making out with each other. STOP SPREADING THE VIRUS BY KISSING, IDIOTS!!!

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Putting aside his true feelings, Carey Price tells the media that it's okay that Jaroslav Halak stole "his" starting role.

We know how he really feels...



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We knew it.

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Do you think it's a coincidence that Alexander Semin returns and Alexander Ovechkin scores twice? We know that the second one was an empty-netter (go figure) but it still counts.

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BTW

Brent Seabrook is playing and Marian Hossa practiced but Jonathan Toews did not practice and he's not going on the trip with the Hawks.

Everything's awesome except for Jonny, that just sucks. Willie Mitchell is on the shit-list as of right now.

This Or That #2

This Or That

Who has a more lethal shoulder:

Mike Richards or Colby Armstrong


Mike Richards


1. Currently killed David Booth

2. Annihilated this woman after the picture was taken


3. This video



Colby Armstrong

1. Made Trevor Letowski bleed his own blood


2. Remember this?


3. always leads with the shoulder


What do you think?

Who has the scariest shoulders: Mike Richards or Colby Armstrong?

Awards Monday: Week Four

Hottie Of The Week



Anze Kopitar



Where did he come from? We thought that it was the line of Ryan Smyth, Justin Williams and Kopitar but we've realized that it's just him. It has to be.

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Commercial Of The Night



Diet Mt. Dew



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The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award



Jonathan Quick



He signed an extension and then went on to win about seventy games. Sense a theme in the awards? Yeah, Kings. We can't help that they're so awesome now.

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FAIL



injuries

We can't stand how many players are injured this month. Doesn't it seem like more than usual? Or are we just noticing it this year? These players better start taking care of themselves or we're going to injure them.

It's All About The Habs (Not Really)

It's like Hal Gill had an illegitimate son that he never told Henrik about.

That or Mike Cammalleri needs to invest in some elevator shoes.

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Some of the Habs players try to spell Mike Cammalleri's last name with hilarious results.

Like this Carey Price face.


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By now, we know that you've seen the hit that David Booth received from Mike Richards. But just in case,


Was it punishable? The NHL didn't think so.

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Brian Duff thinks that it's funny that most NHLers are injured. And he made teams of the injured players.

Article.

Whatever.

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Man, can Drew Doughty get some air.


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And in case you were like us and completely in the dark, TJ Oshie had an emergency appendectomy. We didn't know about this because we were at work.

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ESPN.com had a list of the 15 players who are surprising everyone with their success.

List.

We're not surprised to see Dustin Penner on the list.

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This article is from like three years ago but the pictures are adorable. It's of the Canucks carving pumpkins at Canuck Place.

The Matt Cooke picture is adorable.


(Thanks to Molly for the link.)

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We found this article on ESPN.com where the writer criticized Kris Versteeg for fighting Willie Mitchell after the Jonathan Toews hit.

Apparently this man doesn't approve of teammates sticking up for each other. Whatever, everyone's got their opinions.

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We don't know how we missed this but it's 5 Questions with the 2009 draft class from NHL.com.
5 Questions.

We love their answers. And here's a sample of what you're in for if you click that link.



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We were emailed this article from Puck U and it kind of made us laugh at the absurdity.

The article is about how Ian White's mustache was a buffer between his mouth and an errant puck. Wow, it's crazy but made us laugh.

It's Been Five Years In The Making

Henrik has always talked about Sidney Crosby getting a shorthanded goal. And last night he finally did it.


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Tuomo Ruutu was suspended for a hit from behind on Darcy Tucker. Are you surprised that it's a Ruutu that did it? We aren't.

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After the hit by Willie Mitchell, Jonathan Toews missed practice yesterday. He is a maybe for the game against Nashville tonight.

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Alex Ovechkin was fined for the slew foot on Rich Peverley.

Date Night Friday: Luke Schenn

Why?

Because he's hot, barely legal in Canada and is part of an unfortunate team and we think this would cheer him up.

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Name
Luke Schenn


Nicknames
Schenner, The Human Eraser, Lukey

Chris Pronger, what?


Number
2


Team
Toronto Maple Leafs


Age/DOB
19 / November 2, 1989



Birthplace
Saskatoon, SK


Interests
Hitting people, fighting Tyler Kennedy and being BFFs with Shea Weber


Random Fact
dressed up as Lindsay Lohan for Halloween


What Happens On The Date

Luke arrives outside your house with a single red rose. He winks and guides you to his car where he closes the door like a gentleman. You pull up outside of the Air Canada Centre and he uses the player entrance.

When you sit down in the special VIP Lounge, he hands you a plastic bag. Inside is a Toronto Raptors jersey and he tells you to out it on before the game starts. After the first half, he orders drinks and food for the two of you. Then he slips his arm around your shoulders before you even realize it. After the game, Luke takes you to a nightclub and gets you all liquored up on his tab which you do not complain about. On the drive home, he takes the opportunity to place his hand strategically on your thigh. The car idles outside your apartment and he leans over to kiss you...



Was It A Satisfactory Date?

Do you kiss Luke Schenn? Do you jump him like a starving lion on her prey? Or do you go home alone?

It's up to you...

Top Ten: Injured Players

There are so many damn injuries to players that we decided to find out what they do in their new found free time. Because we were wondering...

Top Ten Things Injured Players Are Doing In The Press Box...




10. Sexting on a Blackberry Tour

09. Making the usher in the box find them only Purple Peanut M&Ms

08. Prank calling Gary Bettman as Count Chocula asking to "speak with my brother"

07. Throwing popcorn on the fans underneath then looking away innocently when they look up

06. Taking bets on a particularly vicious game of 'Go Fish' between another player and the usher

05. Telling an enthralling story about a one-legged stripper and a busted up Camaro

04. Commenting as 'a concerned fan' on blogs that blast them and their injury

03. Providing R-rated dialogue for conversations between referees and players on the ice

02. Tweeting about how awesome the nachos were and how much they love the cheese

01. Crushing the heads of the opposing team


At least this is what we would be doing.

Blame It On The Short Off Season

During the Vancouver Canucks / Chicago Blackhawks game tonight, Willie Mitchell destroyed Jonathan Toews.


We make a lot of inappropriate jokes but we couldn't with this after seeing Toews try to skate to the bench then fall down again. It kind of scared us.

The Hawks were leading 2-1 after that happened but then kind of lost their focus. They lost 3-2 in regulation.

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Sergei Gonchar will be out for up to 6 weeks with a broken wrist. Damn you David Backes!

Jeez, is any team healthy? And why does this seem like we've done this before?

Now Martin Skoula has an opportunity to show Pens fans what he's made of. We can only keep our fingers crossed.

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The Bruins will be without Marc Savard for 4-6 weeks with a broken foot.

Another injury. Wow. This will be huge hole for the Bruins to fill.

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A little video about Duncan Keith


We like the song and his favorite quote. He's a strange human.

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Who can not love these two?

Party In The USA

This is why we heart Twitter.


It's okay if it's not masculine because all we can think of is Eric Tangradi dancing around a room in a long blonde wig and a microphone. Amazing.

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How well do you know Sam Gagner?


Apparently Andrew Cogliano needs to find other people to hang out with because he knows too much about Sammy.

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We've mentioned this before but here's the link to TJ Oshie's inside look into the Blues through his Crackberry.

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Oh yum. Except for Cogliano's face, why does he look so distraught?

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Mac Vs PC


Oilers are the good guys of course.

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The Lightning think that it's funny to strip during a shootout. Maybe that's why they're failing. Video

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Thanks to Macke for the Oilers videos and picture.

Awards Monday: Week Three

Hottie Of The Week



Marian Gaborik



He doesn't understand that he's supposed to injure himself and not play. Henrik's keeping her fingers crossed that he stays healthy and keeps putting up the numbers that he's capable of. As Versus calls him, "turbo-charged".

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Commercial Of The Night



Grant's Appliances Electronics and More



"No thanks, red wings make me gag." Us too, Patty.

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award



The Colorado Avalanche



Where the hell did they come from? This team never wants to quit. It seems like no matter what the score is, they're scrapping their way back in. And we bet that most people can only name two players who are on the team.

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Fail



Whoever schedules the games. Why are there 14 games on one night and none the next? We need to be entertained daily, we hate being pressured to figure out which games to tape.

Fail.

We Have Never Been Prouder

Matt Duchene, the fruit of our collective loins, scored his first ever NHL goal.

Can we just say that this goal made our lives. We have never been so pumped to see a kid score.

What a winner.

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PS - Want to play a game of I Spy?

The weirdest part of this picture is not the creeper-stache. Do you see it?

New Blog Roll Thingies

To the left, we have added new categories to the sidebar. We thought that it would be a good idea to have our regular features easily acceptable for readers and also so that we know what we do and don't repeat ourselves.

1. Date Night Friday
2. For Your Information
3. Guess That Hair
4. This Or That
5. Jersey Dictionary

To the left, to the left, everything we do is in a box to the left.

Date Night Friday: Patrik Berglund

We got a lot of requests for him, email and comments which we were kind of surprised about. And we were also susprised that we hadn't dated him already.

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Name
Patrik Berglund



Nicknames
Vroom Vroom Party-Starter, Swedish robot, Bergs


Number
21



Team
St. Louis Blues


Age/DOB
21 / June 2, 1988



Birthplace
Vasteras, Sweden


Interests
playing video games with TJ, walking with TJ and his dogs, cooking dinner for TJ


Random Fact
Is best friends with TJ Oshie



What Happens On The Date

Patrik shows up at the door in a pink dress shirt and TJ Oshie standing behind him. Oshie is holding a Blackberry Tour and films the entire date.

The two of them find your living room quickly and take up stations in front of the television. Patrik pats the seat next to him and you battle him in NHL09, he's Team Sweden and you are your favorite team ever.

TJ orders everyone Chinese food and doesn't ask what you want, just orders like one of each on the menu. You have a sneaking suspicion that Patrik's taking it easy on you to be nice because his Super Team Sweden only beat yours by one goal. When they leave hours later, Patrik stops in the doorway to say good night but doesn't know whether to kiss you or not.


Was It A Satisfactory Date?

Do you kiss him? Do you let it go and just shake his hand? It's up to you.

Vroom, Vroom Party-Starter!

TJ Oshie, Patrik Berglund and Erik Johnson in the airport before going to Sweden.

The three of them just seem like trouble. And Patrik must have been super-pumped to go to Sweden, either that or he was loopy from too much Dramamine.

(super thanks to Sara for the link)

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And if Sean Avery and Henrik Lundqvist couldn't get any more metrosexual, NHL.com comes out with this article.

Example #1 - "(Lundqvist) likes to dress up. But sometimes I don't understand how he can put on his pants because they're so tight," said former teammate Scott Gomez.

Example #2 - Avery says women's fashion is more interesting because it offers more ways to be creative. With men, "You do suits and pants and that's about that," he said. "Women's clothes tell a story. That's what's interesting to me."

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The Wild lost Martin Havlat in the third period of Wednesday's game against the Ducks because of a groin injury. He is day-to-day. - Star-Tribune

Who here is shocked?

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It's Thursday, let's party.

Guess That Hair #4

Oh yeah, it's back.




Hints:

1. is a forward for an Atlantic Division team

2. was part of the vaunted 2003 draft

3. went to Shattuck St. Mary's


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And is it us or is every NHL player getting injured right now?

Thomas Vanek is out with an upper-body injury.

A knee sprain has Sami Salo sidelined for 4-6 weeks.

The Blue Jackets Jan Hejda is out with a knee injury.

James Wisniewski suffered a shoulder sprain and is out. Along with about half the league.

It Was An Epic Win

When given the choice to watch the Penguins/Senators game or the Blackhawks/Flames game first, Noodles picked the latter.

We think she picked a good one.

What an epic win for the Hawks. After the fourth Flames goal, we were yelling for someone on the Hawks bench to wake the hell up.

And Patrick Kane answered the call.

He was everywhere.

Noodles was mid-sentence when Brent Seabrook scored the game-winner in overtime.

What a goal.


And to celebrate the game-winner, Brent was pie-d in the face by Adam Burish. Awesome.

Oh, and the Pens won against the Senators. Tyler Kennedy was everywhere.

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Rookie Love Alert!

Colorado Avalanche rookies Matt Duchene and Ryan O'Reilly do everything together. And we find it adorable.

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Drew Stafford is the first 2 In The Box

He's brutally honest with the last question.

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Thanks to reader Kim for letting us know that Chris Chelios just won't quit.

According to ESPN, he skated with the Chicago Wolves of the AHL. It's only fitting that a contract is next. Maybe.

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Marc-Andre speaks and Max translates...kinda

We know you've seen it, but it's funny.

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What is that fan in the middle so smug about?

"Hmm yeah, get it. I'm so hot."

Awards Monday: Week Two

Hottie Of The Week



Ethan Moreau



Just because of him being nekkid in ESPN. And because Henrik wouldn't shut the hell up until we picked him. We were toying with the idea of Dany Heatley but we wouldn't get any peace until we posted Ethan.

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Commercial Of The Night





Monster.com

Why can we imagine Jordan Staal growling like that? Or is it just us?

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The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award



Jordan Staal



If you want a reason, watch his game against the Toronto Maple Leafs from Saturday. He loves playing in Toronto.

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FAIL



Philadelphia Flyers third period.

Specifically against the Anaheim Ducks. You know what we mean...