One-A-Day: Pittsburgh Penguins

Pittsburgh Penguins



The day is finally here, it's the Pens recap. We were going to go the lazy route and just post this picture...

But then we realized that if we did, then we would be cheating.

Everyone knows that the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. But so much more happened to them last season.

In preseason, Sergei Gonchar was injured and out until mid-February. And Ryan Whitney had surgery, making him unavailable to the team for months.

The defense had to depend on two rookies for their offense because we know that asking for more than two goals from Brooks Orpik is too much.

There was a lot of turnover in personnel. The new players had to find their niche in the team quickly before the regular season started.


They started the season in a foreign country after playing well into June in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Then there was the up and down roller coaster ride that the Penguins called the regular season.

One game was won 10-2 and the next game was lost 4-3 in overtime. You just never knew.

As the season progressed and the Penguins were in tenth place in the East, they replaced the coach after a very eventful against the Maple Leafs.


Dan Bylsma was just what the Pens needed.

He was positive and encouraging and all-business.

Trades brought even more new players...



But we brought them into our hearts like they were with the Pens all season.

Then the playoffs happened. And we all know how that ended...


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General Manager - Ray Shero

Coach - Dan Bylsma

Team Captain - Sidney Crosby


Player(s)Everyone Should Love - Eric Godard


Player We Don’t Love - Mike Rupp because he was a Devil?

Who They Got - Mike Rupp, Brent Johnson, Jay McKee

Who They Lost - Rob Scuderi, Hal Gill, Petr Sykora, Jeff Taffe


Located At - Mellon Arena

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Hotness Level (on a scale from 1 to 10) - 9.9
The team used to be a 10 but then they lost Petr Sykora so we don't forgive them at all for letting Fragile Pete go. We still think the Penguins are the hottest team in the league and yes, we are sure as hell biased. How could you not love these cuties?

One-A-Day: Philadelphia Flyers

Philadelphia Flyers

I feel kind of funny writing about the “devil” team, knowing how much love there is between the two PA teams but I love pointing out our good things (yes, there are many) along with making fun of our bad things…

Besides the lame motto “Hungry for More,” the Flyers had pretty decent season of ‘08/’09 as long as your don’t count the lack of discipline that contributed to not being able to play a full 90 minutes, consistently. The majorly embarrassing example being Round 1, game 6 of the playoffs where we blew a huge lead only to be trampled by the Pens. This team (like all Philly teams) definitely enjoys making their fans have to take nerve pills to make it through a game.

Million dollar baby, Briere was in and out again with his groin issues knocking him down even more notches on the popularity scale.


The crowd was able to get their Hartnell on at the Center… too bad they lost.

As usual the goaltending situation was back and forth without a main #1 until the last month before the playoffs.

The Flyers really have a great group of defensive forwards who for the most part, were able to over shadow the weakness of the often un-disciplined blue-line.

Steamroller!! – no wonder Richards had both shoulders operated on this summer! What a hit!

Captain Richards was even honored with a nom for the Selke Trophy after setting a league record of most 3 on 5 short-handed goals (3).

(what a man!)

Due to the never ending salary cap issues the team lost some good players due to waivers and trades, mainly Metropolit (waiver to Habs) and fan favorite/resident hottie, Scottie Upshall (trade to Phoenix).


…damn, a tear still comes to the eye.

Random Fact: Tied for 1st in the league with Anaheim for the most penalty minutes… gee, what a surprise?!

Philly is pretty excited about the rough and tumble gang they’ve pulled together this year. However the unknown of Ray Emery is definitely one of the biggest worries considering Boucher is most likely not a goalie who will challenge for the number 1 spot. But the thought of having a “Hextall Mentality” between the pipes gets us a lil excited!


Hopefully the Captain and Carter will tone down the extra-cirricular activities so they can play up to their full potential. When they were on, it was amazing… but when they were off, the troops definitely got restless due to the fact more Yuengling had to be consumed.

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General Manager – Paul Holmgren (a.k.a. Homer)

Coach – John Stevens

Team Captain – Mike Richards #18


Player(s)Everyone Should Love – Mike Richards of course, there’s just something about that silent/sweet hotness, and Claude Giroux – the guy screams “Pinch my Cheeks!!”

Player We Don’t Love – Daniel Carcillo, the guy is just a goon on skates and really has not proved he can actually play hockey except for that goal from nowhere during the 1st round playoffs vs. the Penguins…


Who They Got – It seems the Front Office is hell bent in bringing the “BroadStreet Bully” mentality back and in full force. Proven hell-raisers Chris Pronger, Ray Emery, Brian Boucher (back for a 2nd time), and Ian “Lappy” Lappierre

Who They Lost – Stead-fast Mike Knuble, The Entrancing Blue Eyed Martin Biron, Antero Nittymakemynamevenlonger, Andrew Alberts, Derian Hatcher (to the front office) and two more resident hotties Joffrey Lupul, Luca Sbsia

Located At – Wachovia Center (or whatever the hell they wanna call it this week)

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Hotness Level (on a scale from 1 to 10) – 3.

After losing Upshall, Lupul, and Sbsia, we are really cutting down on the “rat pack hotties.” Hopefully Richards, Carter, and Parent and the addition of “Lappy” should be enough to keep things hot on Broad St. Plus, we be celebratin’ the 1st of the year at Fenway!! Now that’s HOT.

One-A-Day: New York Rangers

New York Rangers



We're still trying to figure out what Glen Sather is doing. He keeps trading young players for young players and signing high-priced agents. He wants the best of both worlds but he can't have it.

The Rangers always seem to do something bone-headed every offseason and this year was no exception.

Signing oft-injured Marian Gaborik for five years can either be the best thing Sather's ever done or one of the worst.

We still haven't forgiven him for letting go of Nikolai Zherdev. We know that he was a lazy Ukrainian but still, it's not like Tortorella couldn't motivate him.

Speaking of Mr. John Tortorella, we are in love with him.

Him and Ron Wilson may be the two craziest coaches in the league. Every time they are pissed, we just cross our fingers for an ejection.

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General Manager - Glen Sather

Coach - John Tortorella


Team Captain - Chris Drury

Player(s)Everyone Should Love - Brandon Dubinsky because he should be the captain

Player We Don’t Love - Donald "sucker-punch" Brashear

Ah, the old days

Who They Got - Marian Gaborik, Vaclav Prospal, Ales Kotalik, Donald Brashear, Brian Boyle, Tyler Arnason

Who They Lost - Nik Antropov, Nikolai Zherdev, Derek Morris, Paul Mara, Fredrik Sjostrom, Colton Orr

Located At - Madison Square Garden


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Hotness Level (on a scale from 1 to 10) - 7
The number was originally about a 3 but then we remembered that this is the team with Henrik Lundqvist. Mr. Lundqvist sparkles like the Swedish god that he is, bringing the number for the hotness level way up.

With the departure of Paul Mara, we can like the team more now. Add in the cuteness of Brandon Dubinsky and Ryan Callahan and it's a seven.

One-A-Day: New York Islanders

Today's One-A-Day is brought to you by Megan. She runs her own blog, Tonelli To Nystrom, which she shamelessly plugged at the end of the recap. We love the blog and the fact that she shamelessly plugs it.

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New York Islanders



Do you hear that? Do you? It’s the choir of angels sending John Tavares down to Earth, Long Island specifically, and he is here for one reason: to dominate. But will he dominate starting in October? That remains to be seen. We did get him for a reason.


(Yes I’m well aware at how horrible this mock photoshop job is)

We came in last place last season not only because we sucked, but we led the league in man games lost to injury with around 566. No one on the team last year played every game. Mark Streit led the team with 74 Games played. We had like 16 players called up from Bridgeport (our AHL affiliate). Not to mention our biggest loss, once again, was our goalie fo’ life Ricky DiPietro, and he might be out again once more.


This is still funny.

The Islanders are rebuilding, there is no secret about that, and this season might look the same as the last, but I think we’re getting there. (We also really need that freaking Lighthouse) Don’t tell our fan base that, because their patience is wearing thin. You thought we won a playoff series on June 26th:


Guys they shot confetti at us. Confetti! One of the most awesome experiences being there, watching TV on the jumbotron and just screaming our heads off. Surreal.

To get a feel for our team, Bruno Gervais is going to teach you how to spend your intermission at the game:



General Manager- You know him as goalie turned GM Garth Snow

Head Coach-Scott Gordon

Team Captain- Billy Guerin re-signed with Pittsburgh, so now we are captain-less. Potential candidates are Doug Weight, Mark Streit, Brendan Witt, Trent Hunter, Richard Park, or Kyle Okposo. I think Tavares has to play at least one game to show some kind of “leadership.” It’s possible we might go with all ‘A’s’ this upcoming season.

Player Everyone Should Love: Oh boy. Well I want everyone to love Sean Bergenheim, but as shown in the video above everybody loves Bruno Gervais. For you Max Talbot fans out there, they’re BFFs and they room together in the offseason. And have a golf tournament (that was from last year, plus Penguins sightings!). So if you love Max Talbot, you could show Bruno some love too.

Player We Don’t Love- Jon Sim. Sorry. He’s not even listed on the team’s website, so maybe he’s going to be waived for the third time come training camp.

Who They Got- John Tavares, Dwayne Roloson, Martin Biron (!!!) and a bunch of depth signings for Bridgey

Who They Lost- Joey MacDonald, Yann Danis, Mike Sillinger, Thomas Pock, Dean McAmmond, Andy Hilbert, and a bunch of Bridgey players as well

Located At- Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum. Hopefully by October we’ll have some sort of green light for the Lighthouse

Hotness Level (on a scale from 1 to 10)- 5. I think all kinds of attractiveness can be found on the Isles squad. Little girls to grandmothers can find anything from ‘adorable’ to ‘yowza’ on the team. But I don’t think they’re overloading on hotness, sorry boys. I’ll try to find some photographic evidence and you guys can tell me what you think



Shameless plug, shameless plug

Picture Day!

A little birdy told us that the Canada boys were getting their pictures taken and we knew that we had to find them.

These are our favorite ones with commentary of course.


This is Vinny's hungover face and basically saying, "Where the fuck's Marty?"


Steve "Stink-eye" Mason


The picture that made Henrik fall over...the rest of us think he looks like a girl.


RTR - ready to rape (man, woman, moving object...nothing's off-limits)


Decided to skip picture day and they just took his roster picture and switched jerseys.


Did he get fatter or is it the beard?


He took the "It's picture day" too seriously with that hair-do.


Patty thinks he's at Disney World instead of Olympic tryout camp. Let's not tell him the truth or the fact that those pants haven't been in style since Nixon was president.


Turtle in a half-shell, we're calling him Raphael.


If pictures could convey lisps...


The picture that made Noodles fall over with that "fuck me" eyebrow.


He has a three-piece suit under that jersey.


Jordan's hair wishes it was a Stanley Cup Champion...oh wait...


Troll!


Oh Yayson, marriage has aged you.


Snore, happy Frenchman.


When we first saw this, we thought it was Jordan. Scary.


He's sporting the "I just got laid and rolled out of bed" hair. Our boy's all grown up.


Used to be fierce but is now fat and blubbery and useless. Blame it on the e-e-e-e-e-estrogen.


METRO!!!


This is what lives in the closet. Even in Anaheim, he's paler than Gollum.


Don't let him make a dinosaur noise, it might scare you with the fierceness.


"Sookie, I am vampire!"


He's got his fake tooth in, how adorable.


Henrik's Little Potato is back to cause some trouble.


We ran out and bought a chastity belt because this picture made us think that Jonny was coming to our house to take our long-lost virginity.


This picture is why we have a blog and why we can't sleep at night and why we write in thispiration journals.

Peace!