Friday, July 31, 2009

Date Night: Carey Price


Name
Carey Price


Nicknames
Patty Roy, Price is Right, Pompadour



Number
31


Team
Montreal Canadiens (but not for long...)



Age/DOB
21/August 16, 1987


Birthplace
Anahim Lake, BC


Interests
his hair, being a jackass and smoking



Random Fact
really actually doesn't care about anything


What Happens On The Date
Carey doesn't even ask you out on a date.

But somehow you end up at this seedy motel with a mirrored ceiling and red silk-type sheets.



Was It A Satisfactory "Date"?

Do you mind not having a "date"? Is the mirrored ceiling okay?

It's up to you, did you have fun on the "date"? Would you do it again?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Sidney Crosby's Day With The Cup...Soon


We know that it isn't until next Friday but we have a few predictions for what Cappy will do with his best friend Stanley when it's his day.


1. Sidney Crosby will cry at least once while holding onto the Cup.


2. It will sleep in his bed with him at least one more time.

3. He will lovingly polish it while the man with the white gloves looks on.


4. The Queen of England wave will be on display during the parade in Halifax.

5. Cappy will talk to the Cup, apologizing for his "less understanding" teammates and the way they treated "him".


6. He will repeatedly refer to the Cup as 'he' and 'him', making everyone but his father uncomfortable.

7. The Cup and Captain will have a nice sit-down dinner together, at a restaurant that overlooks the ocean. Very romantic.


8. Sidney will call Jordan Staal and say, "Stanley told me what you did with him and I am not happy. Did you even ask if he wanted to dance?"

7. Stanley will not be out of Sid's grip the entire day.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

For Your Information: To Malkin


Part Of Speech: verb


Definition:
- to do something completely awesome then fuck it up with one fall
- to be amazing one game then turn on the suck the next


FAIL


AWESOME


How It Started: When Malkin first came into the league, he was pretty awesome. But there were games when he would fail so bad that we would often wonder if he should have been scratched. And that's when he would fall. Malkin's self-induced falls happened almost every game.




Used In A Sentence: Dude, he passed the puck to the other team and they almost scored. He just pulled a Malkin.


Warning: We love Malkin so don't take this the wrong way. Just sometimes, he does something that makes us question whether he has a brain or not.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Random Signings For Today

- P.J. Axelsson is a Frolunda Indian. If you are wondering where that is, just ask the Lundqvist twins.

- The Tampa Bay Lightning bought out Vaclav Prospal's contract. Link.

- And the buyouts continue with the Hurricanes doing it to Frantisek Kaberle. Link.

- Then the Bruins traded Aaron Ward to the Hurricanes for Patrick Eaves and a pick. We are sure that Ward was like, "I was sucker-punched in New York, I was again in Boston. Hmm, Carolina was the only team that I wasn't sucker-punched on. Yeah, I want to go back there."

- Two seconds later, the Bruins signed Derek Morris to a one-year contract because he obviously did so well for the Rangers last season.

We heart the off season.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Never Google Image Search Evgeni Malkin

This is what happens...link.
There's a hell of a lot of tongue.

And we're sure that you've all seen it but it's worth repeating, the Penguins prospects went paintballing.



Our favorite part: Tangradi taking the "Douchebag Teammate" award by shooting Nathan Moon in the ass like 5 or 6 times.

The Ducks had an interview with Ryan Whitney and Noodles passed out before she could read it. Article.

Then this...

Yeah, that's right, it has Cappy in it. Nice.

Last note...

If any of you are fans of another team, like your main team is not the Penguins, then please email us.

Starting August 1st, we are doing recaps of every team in the NHL and would love to have you do it for your main team. We have a certain criteria for each recap and if you want to do it, email us and we shall give you it. It isn't hard at all, believe us because we are lazy.

First come, first served bitches!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

We Were Watching True Blood...

Here are a few videos to keep you occupied if you don't watch HBO like we do on Sundays.

Don Cherry being a chauvinist...who knew?


Baby Bob Errey when he won the Cup in '92

Ignore Paul Steigerwald, we do.

Sgeaking of Bob Errey

His usual craziness shows.

Some girl made a video of Sidney Crosby's "awkward" moments

It could have been twenty minutes long just from his DVD.

James Franco's UCLA speech that never was


And last...

If you want to waste countless hours then we suggest that you watch this link to an Adidas campaign that ran some time ago.
(thanks to Kimberlass for the tip)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Penguins Prospect: Brian Strait

Name
Brian Strait



Age/DOB
21 / January 4, 1988


Hometown
Boston, MA



Height/Weight
6'1" / 200


Team
Boston University Terriers



Position
defenseman


What You Need To Know
played for the Terriers and is a Boston native


- Was the captain for the IIHF World under-18 team that won gold in 2006


- Wants to play with the big boys...eventually, of course

- Everything you need to know about him...sort of

- Was a part of BU's record season and national championship in 2008-09

- looks like Mathieu Schneider and Pascal Dupuis are his fathers

Friday, July 24, 2009

Date Night: Torrey Mitchell

This is a Henrik pick this week. She spoke up at the meeting this week and said that it was a shame that we never picked Torrey Mitchell to go on a date with.

And we agreed so we had to do this. We shall see if other people agree with her.

-&-


Name
Torrey Mitchell


Nicknames
Tor, Mitch, Torrey-pickle


Number
17


Team
San Jose Sharks



Age/DOB
24/January 30, 1985


Birthplace
Greenfield Park, Quebec



Interests
trying to speak French, driving around in his Corolla and imitating Devin's grandma


Random Fact
scored an awesome short-handed goal that Henrik still talks about



What Happens On The Date
At first you are horrified that Torrey arrives at your house in a Toyota Corolla but then you realize that this gorgeous man is taking you out on a date and then you don't care what he drives you in.

He goes to open the door but it sticks a little so he has to kick it open. He's smiling sweetly as you sit inside and then you drive off. You arrive outside of a fancy French restaurant and he has the valet park it for him. When you are seated at a table that is on the veranda, he asks if it's okay for him to order for you. You shrug, why not, he looks like he knows what he's doing. When the waiter arrives, you realize how wrong you are. It takes him twenty minutes to order food in French when the waiter clearly speaks English. It's cute that he's trying. As you wait for food, the two of you talk about the car, his injury and Joe Thornton's perma-beard. When dinner is over and you're back in the Corolla, he drives towards the beach. It's dark by then but he insists that it's allowed. He parks and the two of you walk towards the waves. Then you lay on the sand, talking about the stars and random things. After a little while, you hint that you're tired so the two of you walk back to his car. Before Torrey opens the door, he leans in to kiss you.



Was It A Satisfactory Date?

Do you let Torrey kiss you? Was is a fun date? Was the car too much of a turn-off?

You decide.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Penguins Prospect: Luca Caputi

Name
Luca Caputi



Age/DOB
20 / October 1, 1988


Hometown
Toronto, Ontario



Height/Weight
6'2" / 205


Team
Niagara Ice Dogs



Position
LW


What You Need To Know
scored his first NHL goal on his first shift

We remember being so excited that Bill Thomas got an assist and LeTude was screaming about Luca scoring from his stomach.

- Was sent to the Wheeling Nailers for disclipinary reasons.

- Is a fan of Hugo Boss.


- "Fought" Steve Stamkos.


- Was interviewed by Alyonka and PensTV and didn't give a shit.


-&-

Can we like him?


Bob Errey loves him.

Guess That Hair #3

Let's get this party started...




Hints:

1. plays for a 'blue' team

2. is French-Canadian

3.
was traded from an eastern Canadian city for a goaltender at the trade deadline

(SuperHint...plays with last week's Guess That Hair)


-&-

Links...

- Mikael Backlund hopes to stay with the Flames this season now that everyone on the team is gone. Video.

- If this wasn't the Blackhawks, we would find it funny. Marian Hossa may need surgery to repair a bum shoulder. Can we sniper him and put Chicago out of its misery?

- The New Jersey Devils re-signed Travis Zajac. So that means that not everyone wants to leave the Garden State.

- The Islanders signed Martin Biron. Who else forgot that he was a free agent? And what are the Islanders going to do with three NHL goaltenders?

- NHL.com has a list of the players on the hot seat in the East and West.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Penguins Prospect: Eric Tangradi

Since we are unable to attend the prospect camp going on this week at Southpointe, we shall profile at least ten of the top players at camp.

In our own way of course.

-&-

Name
Eric Tangradi

Look at that face, who couldn't love that?


Age/DOB
20 / February 10th 1989


Hometown
Philadelphia, PA
(He totally knows Bobby Ryan, he told us so.)


Height/Weight
6'4" / 221lbs



Team
Belleville Bulls, OHL


Position
LW


What You Need To Know
is nasty, was a pick of Brian Burke's Anaheim days so you know he's mean and was a douche playing in the World Juniors

Knew we liked him for a reason.

When we found out that the Penguins got Eric Tangradi and Chris Kunitz from Anaheim for Ryan Whitney, we were surprised that Anaheim would let him go. He was definitely a player that they valued, but whatever.

We gots him now.

- OHL site information.

- What Hockey's Future thinks about him.

- An article about his billets in Belleville...link.

- Is captain material.

-
His answer about the incident with Canada in the World Juniors is pretty lame but we like him because he's a dick.

The Penguins can use that.


-&-

Can we like him?

Yes or no.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sharp Dressed Men

You know that it's a good day when you wake up and see an email from a reader that sports the subject line of: drunk Blackhawks ride a rickshaw.

picture 1
picture 2
The captions under the pictures are hilarious as well.

Brian Campbell is so tiny and this is what reader john2702 had to say about the pictures: (yes, that is Seabrook driving the rickshaw back when he was sporting a molestache)

We were also sent these photos taken from the Convention.

We need to discuss Adam Burish's jacket.

It looks like a flannel type design and he has a black shirt underneath. Okay...interesting. Wonder what the pants look like.

He may or may not have the same taste in clothes as Max Talbot.

Yeah, it's a good day.

(thanks to john2702 for the email.)

Monday, July 20, 2009

It's Like Coloring, Just Something To Do


Penguins new video for the summer and the Stanley Cup win.


Evander Kane interviews Levko Koper, odd but funny.

Another thing from Thrashers TV, Spencer Machacek is working the camera again for a behind the scenes look at camp.


Aaron Ward talks to BostonBruins TV about the Winter Classic and baseball.

He is always funny, no matter what questions they throw at him.

Everyone's favorite giant teen, Tyler Myers, throws the first pitch at a Buffalo Bisons game.

"That's why I play hockey."

Drew Stafford shows us some of his music picks...it's from 2007 but still, his music is pretty awesome. Link.

We didn't know that Sean Avery was at Bonnaroo for FUSE TV.

Well, now we all know.

The Lightning thank the fans for sticking with the team throughout the year.

What is up with the music? It's kind of disturbing.

The Blues do it right.


5 Questions with Robert Nilsson.

Nothing earth shattering but he's nice to look at, that's for sure.

Matt Greene is crazy.

Kings Hockey Fest sounds fun.

The Canucks makes their prospects do Yoga.

It's pretty funny seeing them stretch and whine.

And last, thank god we are not fans of this team or we would off ourselves.

For once in our lives, we feel sorry for Flyers fans.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

First-Hand Account: Blackhawks Convention

One of our readers, Gina, was lucky enough to attend the Blackhawks Convention that we have talked about since the summer started. And she wrote a recap for the blog complete with pictures.

We can't thank her enough for being there when we couldn't and thinking of us while she was there.

-&-

Blackhawks Convention
Day 1


Oh man, where to begin…

So the Blackhawks Convention was at the Hilton Chicago, a very swanky hotel, and we really had no idea where we were going, so trying to park was nuts. But we randomly ended up getting sweet primo parking in this reserved area! Apparently we parked next to Bobby Hull, and then John McDonoungh had parked next to us. We didn’t know about the Pres until we were leaving and the valet told us he had just left. Ugh figures…

Well we had VIP passes, but no one working there really knew what they were for, since we were about the only ones with them. Not until later did we find out that they were supposed to be for us to get privileged seating for the opening ceremonies, which we unfortunately had to watch on the T.V. outside the Grand Ballroom… So our VIP passes should have been VLP for “Very Lame People”.


During the opening ceremonies, they introduced a lot of Hawks’ alumni, including Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita. Then they introduced the team. Everyone was looking ADORABLE! We melted as everyone walked out. Jonny Toews greeted everyone and I melted even more…


After Hossa and Kopceky were announced, a lot of people started the “DETROIT SUCKS” chant, I think it’s everyone’s favorite…

At the end of day 1, we were getting pretty tired, and none of the players were really walking around, because security was lame, and all the lines were super long. However, we did wait in line for Duncan Keith. He was super nice; I made him feel old when I told him I go to Michigan State, just like he did. Also, the lady couldn’t figure out how to use my camera, so I got to stand up there extra long. I did accidentally touch his butt…can I just tell you it is very nice. He’s just awesome.



Day 2

The day started with captains talking, so of course Jonny T was there, and so were we. Just being in the same room as him made me die, and hearing him speak in person… I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant. As he was just looking around the room, he looked in my general direction; I basically melted, died, and tried not to faint. It was great! Fans got to ask questions, so this little girl went up to the mic, told her name and says, “My question is for Jonathan Toews. Um. Did you get the letter I sent you?” His face was priceless, I wish I had my camera on at that moment. But his answer was great, “Yes I did. It was nice. Thank you.” We were laughing to the point of tears because it was cute and hilarious.

Security was ridiculous and wouldn’t let anyone get close to Toews as they took him away to some “secret place” in the hotel. What did they think we were going to do? Stab him? Definitely not what we would do, we love him. Maybe attack him with a hug… But anywho, the lines for autographs were super long and we didn’t feel like waiting in them, we were really only there for Kaner and Tazer. I think that we were the only girls their age there without boyfriends. Everyone else was like 16, so if only we could have met them, we possibly would have had a chance…Oh yes. I can dream!


Later on, the 2009 All-Stars were talking, so we went to that of course. Kane and Toews for sure have a bromance. They were poking fun at each other for the entire session, and we loved it. Kane is a smartass, but that makes us love him even more. During the question portion, pretty much every girl in the room ran to the mic and most of their questions were for Jonny T. One girl had enough guts to ask if Tazer had a girlfriend, to which he replied, “No I actually don’t”. SCORE! I’ll do it! People asked about favorite hockey movies, which is a good question, because everyone has a favorite hockey movie. Toews’ happens to be Slapshot, and Kane’s is Mighty Ducks. Well of course! Great movies!

With one question we finally got to the bottom of the Kane mouth guard!! One girl asked about when Franzen took Kane’s mouth guard out of his mouth and threw it on the ice, and then asked why it’s never in his mouth. He said he was “shocked when Franzen took it out, and didn’t really know what to do”. And then he said that “its just a really, REALLY bad habit. I don’t even know I’m doing it. I need a new mouth guard like every few games because it’s chewed to hell.”


Kane told us all a funny story about Toews and the NHL 10 videogame. Toews had approached Kane about whether he was really on the cover of NHL 10, and Kane said yes. And a little while later Toews goes “Why aren’t I on the cover?!?” Aw poor Toews, maybe next time!

All those security people prevented everyone from going up to him…so sad. But nice behind!

After the All-Stars thing, we were bored and every line was ridiculous, so we left for a while and went to the bean, and just walked around.


When we came back our luck had changed! The line for Seabrook’s photo was short, so we ran into that and got our picture with Seabs! And can I just say that he is adorable in person! And super nice! Then we walked around the vendor area looking for stuff to buy, and then people were lining up for pictures with Andrew Ladd, so we got into line for that. It went fast, and he had the most adorable smile when we got our pictures.


We were trying all day to find Verbeauty, no luck, sorry ladies. But we did get up close to Sharpie! We just walked up the way that people were leaving from the autographs, and I whipped out my camera and took some pictures. But then a security woman came up to us and asked us suspiciously if we were waiting for people to come out of the line, because apparently you aren’t supposed to be there taking pictures… Well we lied and told her yes, but when she turned around, we ran out of there quick! But we got to see Mr. Sex-on-Ice himself. And he is HAWT!