11:14 AM ET: The creepy ginger sisters sign identical 5 year contracts at a $6.1M cap hit. Disgusting, but I'm kind of happy. It would be weird seeing them in other colours. TSN.ca
11:32 AM ET: As the resident Oilers fan here I have to say how friggin' ridiculous the whole Dany Heatley insanity from last night is. I was a mess, I don't want to lose Cogs or Ladi, and even Dustin would be a loss. Dany said he would "sleep on it". I don't know if I'll be more pissed if he comes or stays. What, you think you're too good for us? A-hole. Bob MacKenzie's TSN.ca Blog
11:42 AM ET: If anyone wants to follow along, I'm getting my information from a bunch of sources, mainly TSN.ca and Darren Dreger's Twitter.
11:45 AM ET: Looks like the The Puck Huffers just showed up!
12:01 PM ET: THE OILERS GAVE QUALIFYING OFFERS TO GILBERT BRULE, DENIS GREBESHKOV, LADISLAV SMID... and McDonald, Potulny, Reddox, Schremp, and Stone. Thanks NHL_Oilers on Twitter! Gaaaah! But funny this: Ladi Smid was going to be traded last night and is now given an offer... Heatley deal dead for sure? You decide.
12:11 PM ET: Some Pens updates- Scuderi is being chased by Minnesota, Dallas, and NYR. FedoTANKo will be testing the market as well (Thanks to Pens Blog on Twitter... Oil have a big offer on the table ($3M-1YR) for G Roloson but he will test as well. STAY WITH THE PENS, DUMPER BOB!
12:15 PM ET: Mattias Ohlund signs with Tampa Bay. I'm oddly depressed...
12:44 PM ET: TSN is reporting that Hossa is close to signing with CHICAGO. WHAT THE FABSLAWIWUFB.
12:50 PM ET: Radek Dvorak signs with Florida... does anyone care? Hello?
1:00 PM ET: First hour is up. Nothing huge. blaaahhafhlabiew.
1:08 PM ET: Kovalev resigns with Le Canadiens. Boooring.
1:16 PM ET: I'm getting a lot of news on twitter that the Minnesota Wild are going nuts trying to get Dumper Bob. OhNoOhNoOhNoOhNoOhNo.
1:19 PM ET: Kovalev deal isn't actually done yet??? Colton Orr just signed a deal with Toronto, 4 years.
1:20 PM ET: I think the general consensus of the room is "I want to throw up".
1:32 PM ET: Noodles is going to die in the corner in a pool of her own salty tears if Hossa signs with Chicago.
1:34 PM ET: NHL LIVE! just slipped out "If Mattias Ohlund lives out his contract"... OH GOD.
1:44 PM ET: Just got that Kubina has been traded to the Thrashers? And Kovalev MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SIGNED. COME ON. JUST TELL ME. Oh yea, and David Booth just signed with Florida. Blah blah blah.
1:52 PM ET: Craig Anderson signs with Colorado. I kind of wanted him in Edmonton, Oilers need a goalie. Hossa MAY have signed with Chicago. (Noodles just yelled at the TV very harshly.) Huet MAY have been dealt. Kubina or Kaberle MAY have been dealt.
1:58 PM ET: Noodles is now yelling at her Marian Hossa McFarlane figure. Send help.
2:03 PM ET: Hossa is officially a Blackhawk as per TSN. For TWELVE YEARS. This is MADNESS. What the HELL is Dale Tallon thinking?!?!?! We are trying to calculate when the next time we can consider the Blackhawks a respectable team. Kill us, now.
2:05 PM ET: Tampa signs Matt Walker, the beast, to a two year contract. I want to cry.
2:10 PM ET: The Kubina deal I mentioned earlier may have Colby Armstrong going the other way. AND OH MAN TY CONKLIN JUST SIGNED WITH ST. LOUIS FOR 2 YEARS! The living room erupted in screams.
2:17 PM ET: The only thing confirmed about the Kovalev deal is that it is unconfirmed.
2:25 PM ET: The Oilers officially don't have a goalie... Goodbye Roli... I'll miss you...
2:27 PM ET: Pierre McGuire- Colby Armstrong tickles Brian Burke's fancy.... WHAT?!
2:32 PM ET: Kopecky in Chicago. Still crying over Roli.
2:45 PM ET: Montador goes to the Sabres. Booooring.
2:46 PM ET: "Dwayne Roloson went to the Market and never came home."
2:54 PM ET: Knuble to Capitals, Brashear to NYR???
2:56 PM ET: Both confirmed. Maybe Chris Clark can play now, with Brashear gone!
3:07 PM ET: Scotty Neidz is staying in Anaheim. Blaaah.
3:16 PM ET: Joel Ward signs with Nashville. Does anyone care?
3:25 PM ET: Krajicek resigns with Tampa... more news I don't care about.
3:34 PM ET: I'm hearing Cammalleri might go to the Oilers?? Sounds like he's going to stay Canadian, anyway.
3:37 PM ET: Flyers sign the Boucher of the Brian variety.
3:50 PM ET: Jaro Spacek FORMER OILER goes to Montreal for three years $11.5M. That's good for their blueline.
4:01 PM ET: NIKOLAI KHABIBULIN SIGNS WITH THE EDMONTON OILERS... I THINK. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. ALFJBQIEAUBSLjkf.
4:02 PM ET: Oh yea, and Erik Cole (fondly known as the Blubbering Vagina) has resigned for 2 years with the 'Canes.
4:07 PM ET: JayBo press conference. Do. Not. Care.
4:24 PM ET: Pardy resigns with Calgary. BLAH.
4:33 PM ET: Clemmensen appears to have signed with the Panthers?
4:42 PM ET: Delerium has set in- LeTude just stated that she hates the stupid Tiger on the Panthers uniform.
4:43 PM ET: Ian Laperriere just signed with Philly, they are just piling up the goons.
4:44 PM ET: We say goodbye to our first Penguin of the day. Goodbye Halbert. You will be missed <3.
4:45 PM ET: Pens sign Mike Rupp. What? WTF is up Shero?
5:19 PM ET: After our break for our barbeque, Ville Koistinen has been signed by the Florida. Holy good lord, how the hell are the Panthers signing everyone? Kent Huskins resigns with San Jose, and David Koci is moving to Colorado.
5:27 PM ET: Kubina trade finally happens, Exelby coming back. Colby is safe.
5:27 PM ET: TSN is talking to Halbert. The room is silent. We love you, Hal, we really do. OH MY GOD HIS BABY IS IN THE CAR WHILE HE IS DRIVING TALKING ON THE PHONE, MOST LIKELY NOT STRAPPED IN. OH MY GOD. Darren Pang says he has a long stick. Pierre made quotation marks around "skilled" talking about the Penguins and the Canadiens. Douche.
5:33 PM ET: Mike Cammalleri has signed with the Canadiens, I'm pretty sure. No report from TSN yet.
5:42 PM ET: Conversation has dissolved into farting and Tyler Kennedy doing naughty things with the Stanley Cup.
5:45 PM ET: Byron Bitz is still a Bruin. Boston Bruin's Byron Bitz Bit Boys Bums.
5:47 PM ET: Greg Zanon signs with Minnesooooota.
5:49 PM ET: The Fiddler from Nashville is now in Arizona.... yay o.O
5:56 PM ET: Mike Komisarek signs with Toronto... Dick move hahahahahahahahahahaha. I love you Komo! I heart you. Lots.
5:56 PM ET: Just got word that the Oilers are going to announce some signings. Stoked!
6:00 PM ET: TSN/NHLN just cut off their coverage. The room is dead silent but for the tapping of keys. We are nervous. Scuderi news is supposed to come now, pleaseeee.
6:09 PM ET: We are going effing nuts.
6:11 PM ET: Steve Begin signs with the Bruins. LOL LIKE WE CARE.
6:14 PM ET: Steve Sullivan is staying in Nashville. Good for him.
6:23 PM ET: Sami Pahlsson is in Columbus now. He can go win faceoffs there, or something.
6:25 PM ET: Apparently Noodles was raped by a man with a small Petr and forgot to mention it to us.
6:45 PM ET: No news for twenty minutes. I'm going to cry.
6:50 PM ET: We have resorted to bad-mouthing Eklund and looking up pictures like this:
6:56 PM ET: Fuck it, we're watching Hot Rod.
7:12 PM ET: I'm on my 8th hour. Send help. Immediately. LeTude is talking about eating bodies. Or something. Cake break. Mmmmmmmm.
7:17 PM ET:
7:21 PM ET: Jason Strudwick just resigned with the Oilers. Apparently people still care about free agency.
7:30 PM ET: Goodbye to Matheiu Garon, my favorite back up goalie. Bye bye.
7:34 PM ET: We are breaking out the Cherry Vodka, I think.
8:21 PM ET: We are still alive! But just barely. Report is that Marian Gaborik just signed with Henrik's rangers. Sorry baby.
8:23 PM ET: We are watching Entourage because we're awesome.
8:34 PM ET: Darren Dreger via RDS- Gionta to MTL.
8:41 PM ET: Chris Neil is staying in Ottawa and LeTude just had a fit of rage. She is LePissed.
8:42 PM ET: Gionta is official, 5 years 25 mil.
9:02 PM ET: I think I'm addicted to liveblogging. Kill me. Heater is going to meet face to face with the Oilers. Every party in this looks bad, we look desperate and he looks like an asshole.
9:08 PM ET: We got John Madden in Chicago? 1 year. 2.75. Noodles doesn't sound happy but I think we're pretty bugged right now.
9:29 PM ET: Freddy Sjostrom signs with Calgary. Henrik is sad that King Henrik is alone again. 2 yrs, 750K per.
9:45 PM ET: Just figured out Eklund blocked me on Twitter because I told 'em to suck my dick. Can't take a joke? C'mon.
10:02 PM ET: Jason LaBarbera signs with Phoenix, leaving Luongo without a steady backup- Sanford for the whole season? He's gotta step it up unless Lu plays 82.
10:16 PM ET: I just want everyone to know that I'm up to 11 hours. I think I'm going to pass out. I have a flight tomorrow. This is me signing off, I love you all.
-MACKE. Happy Canada Day, world.
P.S. 11:06 PM ET: One more. Marty Havlat has a verbal agreement to play with Minnesota, and he sounds pissed at Chicago.
martinhavlat Excited to be in Minny where I was welcomed and appreciated by management. The real story about what happened in Chicago to come out.