Watching the Media Day on NHL Network was one of our highlights today. And we decided to recap them for you ladies.
Gary Green and Brian Duff talk about the Penguins being more mature. Maybe they want the Wings to be the underdog? We just don't understand how that is even possible.
Interviews start out with Uncle Mike.
Okay, we can understand that. The Red Wings are first because they are superior to the Penguins in every way (end sarcasm). The way he talks might actually give us hives in private places.
We want to know what commercials Uncle Mike is watching. He said that he has to check who won the Cup last season when he sees the commercials on television because judging by them, the Penguins won. We can't understand him through the whine.
What we think of this whine.
Uncle Mike is also in love with the other Marian.
Then the Perfect Human Lidstrom and Marian Gaborik's girlfriend are at the press conference. They insinuate that they are the underdogs. Whatever, everyone wants to be the underdog.
Nick talks about his injury with the vaguest terms ever. "I felt something and it was lower body and I didn't feel good." Gay. "I feel good."
The other Marian sounds like he is already out of Detroit. He sounds very depressed and mellow. He doesn't think that the Pens will care that he left. He's kind of right. He wants to have fun, haha.
The media talks to him like he played with the Penguins for years. We obviously do not remember this time.
Cameras and focus shifts to Chris Osgood.
We didn't listen but he didn't make us want to kill ourselves. And Pittsburgh's "big-shooters" gave him heart palpitations as evidenced by that face he made.
Marian Gaborik's girlfriend might have pick-pocketed a priest for his outfit. Creepy, morbid preacher-man. (We secretly still have a thing for him but you didn't hear it from us.)
Commercials! Maybe these are what Uncle Mike was talking about.
Hmm, maybe not.
Cappy and Fleur. They both make so much money yet can't even buy suits that are actually nice. We are ashamed.
Wow, Cappy is in love with Grandpa Guerin. He said leadership and that he's someone Cappy can lean on. Sounds like looooove. Is it odd that we can totally pick out voices when they ask Cappy and Fleur questions? Like, we totally knew Rob Rossi asked a question and so did Gary Green. We are creepy.
Oh wow, his hair is so grey. What happened? And can we blame Marian Hossa? He talks about "the core group of guys." Please adopt us.
Danny B! You've got the swagger of a champion. We like the play off beard, very festive.
Then they switch to Gary Green and Kunie. He has possibly the second gayest voice in the NHL. Of course our gay friend Mikey takes the number one spot. Chemistry between him, Cappy and Grandpa is brought up. They're like triplets, it's disgusting. Leadership is mentioned again.
What a beard, Kunie. Love it.
Feds! Has the man aged at all? We swear that he looks twelve. And he doesn't commit to an answer when asked who calms the room down after a good/bad period. Maybe he just didn't understand the question.
Gary Green and Brian Duff recap it themselves. They look like they're rooting for the Wings. We don't like them.
Some things for you to chew on before the game tomorrow...
-Mark Eaton: Offensive Defenseman. Just another thing to add on to his impressive resume.
-The boys are ready. Let's do this.
-Some Wings fan translated some Max Talbot interview from a French radio program. Apparently he said some strong things against Marian Hossa. The Detroit Free Press isn't happy with his two-faceness.
-Detroit Red Wings feel they are the underdogs. Hey, if it helps them sleep better at night who are we to judge? Let's read the whine together.
Hey, all's fair in the play offs. No one and nothing is off limits.