Mama Said There Would Be Games Like This.....Game Seventy-Four: Flyers At Penguins

Flyers 3 - Penguins 1


Wait, our team lost? The Penguins lost? We don't believe you. Doesn't feel like a loss.

There are three things that we say after a loss...
1. No one got killed
2. They didn't get shut out
3. At least we're not Flyers fans

We make it a point to not complain about refereeing in games and things that we as fans cannot control but today was terrible. Some of the calls going against the Penguins were complete bull.

For example, the tripping penalty on Hal Gill. It was clear that the best defensive forward ever created dove. Hope Philly fans are proud of their captain with that Olympic move.

And of course they scored on that power play.

Speaking of the dreaded power play, the Penguins had no idea what was going on when they had the man advantage. It was like they forgot how to play when the other team was down a man.

Figures.

It took eighty years for the Penguins to register a goal, their only goal and it was Kris Letang on the power play from Captain and Malkin.

Some older woman next to LeTude in F18 called her "Mrs. Letang" after he scored. We think it's cute even though we know that Letude was bawling her eyes out seeing her husband score for the first time.

But like we exaggerated before, didn't feel like a loss. We hate the Flyers more than the average Pittsburgher but the game still didn't feel like a loss. Maybe we're just bad Pens fans.


After the game we couldn't resist the urge to watch the Flyers and Penguins leave Mellon Arena and we are so happy that we did.

The Flyers must love being heckled because they stood outside on their cell phones where stupid Pens fans could say stupid things to them.

Some drunk asshole decided to heckle Scott Hartnell. But he wasn't even clever about it. Hartnell stopped and stared at the drunkard and said, "What?" "And?" And that was all he said to the douchey fan.

The same douchey fan jobbed Fedotenko as he was getting into the car saying, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR US LATELY? YOU'RE A WASTE OF MONEY." We put him in his place that's for sure after we heard that.

Ryan Parent was absolutely beautiful in a brown suit and messy blonde hair. What? We're girls. We're allowed to notice that stuff.

Mike Richards and Jeff Carter might actually honestly be gay together. Jeffy was sitting on the wall and Mikey came out and sat next to him like he was so excited. And Jeffy was kicking his legs back and forth like a child.

The douchey fan somehow got Jeff Carter's autograph. He snuck in behind the parking lot attendants and ran up to Jeffy screaming about seeing him in Vancouver. All of the Flyers boys hanging outside were cracking up at the dude.

Always the pimp, Max Talbot came out from underneath the arena with two cases of Fiji water. Guess Gary left them behind and someone finally decided to take them.

It is odd but we are obsessed with Courtney Scuderi. She is our Den Mother when we finally marry our Penguins husbands.

As Dumper Bob was leaving the game, Grandpa Guerin stopped him. They talked for a bit then Dumper Bob popped the trunk of his Lexus SUV and Grandpa Guerin got in. He jumped into the trunk.

LeTude made us wait forfuckingever for Kris Letang but it was worth it. He came out with Brooks Orpik and Eric Godard. And LeTude ran down the hill to get Noodles's Orpik jersey signed.

She even yelled at him to sign it because he wouldn't listen.

We are also completely in love with Eric Godard's girl. She looks like she reads the horoscope every day and believes that meat is murder. In other words, the girl looks like a hippie and we love her. Plus, she drives his truck like a pro. In heels. What a woman.

Coachy even came out to sign things. He had his jacket off and fist-bumped a fan. And he signed quite a few things for the fans by the fence. We were impressed.

Fat-ass Jordan Staal even got out of his pimp-wagon to sign things. We think he was trying to impress Coachy.


And that's about all we gots. We swear that we watched the game and actually care about hockey. It was a loss and the Penguins didn't get a point but it's okay. We'll live, shit happens. Still in the play offs.