Thursday, October 2, 2008

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year

(Title totally stolen from the Fall Out Boy song, we are so emo.)

Everyone and Sarah Palin talks about the dreaded Sophomore Slump. We refuse to believe that it exists and that's why we pretend that Jordan Staal's sophomore season never happened. We know we are delusional.

We have compiled a quite comprehensive list of the sophomores we would like to do well. We are rooting against the scary sophomore slump for these certain players. Players not included, like Nicklas Backstrom, we hope they slump so far they end up in Sunrise, Florida.

Was that naughty?


-&-


David Clarkson - right wing - New Jersey Devils
81 9 13 22
Somehow made it to the Youngstars Game and actually garnered some points and didn’t try to fight someone. Steve Downie was unimpressed.



Andrew Cogliano – center – Edmonton Oilers
82 18 27 45 with 5 goals being game-winners and 18 goals on 98 shots
Part of the Oilers much-publicized “youth movement” and the “Kid-Line.” The crazy bastard even created his own record by scoring 3 consecutive OT goals.



Brandon Dubinsky – center – New York Rangers
82 14 26 40
Obviously most of his points were the result of playing Nylander to Jagr’s, um, mullet? But still, he was a solid rookie and we totally expect great things from him despite that.



Alex Edler – defense – Vancouver Canucks
75 8 12 20
Totally benefited by the freak injuries to most of the Canucks D and was the only one who didn’t fall at the blueline. We can only hope that the injury curse leaves him alone this season.



Dan Ellis – goaltender – Nashville Predators
44 23w 10l 3ot .924 sv% 2.34 gaa 6 shutouts
Henrik calls him ‘Cutie’ and it’s so obvious why, right? He literally kicked Mason to St. Louis because he was that good. We like Nashville despite the mere existence of Billy Ray Cyrus and hope that Cutie keeps up the excellent work.



Sam Gagner – center – Edmonton Oilers
79 13 36 49
The Shootout King a.k.a. Macke’s man. We can’t touch him cause he’s hers. Don’t tell his agent or K.Lowe but she owns his rights…and his soul. Oh, and he’s an amazing player and we hope that he doesn’t get slammed with the ‘Jordan Staal curse’.



Erik Johnson – defense – St. Louis Blues
69 5 28 33
Well, we would have talked about how responsible he is in his own zone and important stuff like that but he totally messed that up for us by going and screwing around with a golf cart. Dick.



Jack Johnson – defense – Los Angeles Kings
74 3 8 11
Obviously, Jack can only improve. We blame the sub par season totals on his partnership on the blueline and living arrangements with Rob Blake. And then he broke his foot. At least he made it to the YoungStars game…we guess.



Patrick Kane – right wing – Chicago Blackhawks
82 21 51 72
Reigning Rookie of the Year, baby. Scored a crazy amount of points and is also really personable. It’s like the American version of Alex Ovechkin, if we may be so bold. And he has the best creeper face of any sophomores.



Tyler Kennedy – center – Pittsburgh Penguins
55 10 9 19
We called him ‘the poor man’s Gary Roberts’ because he acted like him and totally took cues from Gary when he was in the ‘Burgh. TK on the fourth line ain’t a bad option and he better score like we know he can.



Sergei Kostitsyn – left wing – Montreal Canadiens
52 9 18 27
Just want to get this out there: We like Sergei waaaaaay more than Andrei. Actually, Noodles likes him the most and we aren’t really sure what is up with all that. Had a pretty good rookie season and should only get better with the Canadiens.



David Krejci – center – Boston Bruins
56 6 21 27
Obviously not a scorer although was really lighting the lamp in the play offs against Montreal. His beard kinda creeps us out but he had great chemistry with Milan Lucic last season and it would be cool to see them together again.



Kris Letang – defense – Pittsburgh Penguins
63 6 11 17
Crazy Frenchman. Also insane in the shootout like Sam Gagner. Hopefully he can be the Ryan Whitney to Alex Goligoski’s Sergei Gonchar this season. We can only hope that he starts to shoot.



Milan Lucic – left wing – Boston Bruins
77 8 19 27
Tough motherf-er, seriously. Bitch broke his nose twice in one game. If there wasn’t Jack Johnson, we would totally use Milan as our hockey Chuck Norris. Seriously. We wish we lived in B-town so that we could see him play all the time.



Mike Lundin – defense – Tampa Bay Lightning
81 0 6 6 16 PIMs in 81 games, that’s like Mark Eaton stats
Somehow made the YoungStars game last season and we were surprised. We call him Tampa’s version of Ryan Parent cause neither know where the net is offensively but when they’re on the ice, the other team never sees what their goaltender looks like.



Torrey Mitchell – center – San Jose Sharks
82 10 10 20 2 shorthanded goals tied for first with all rookies
What a freaking awesome roster picture. Henrik’s first rookie love (we think) and he’s just so adorable and we love his birthday vid from SharkByte.



Peter Mueller – center – Phoenix Coyotes
81 22 32 54
Damn, who woulda thought that he had that awesome of a rookie season? No one even remembers that Phoenix even has a damn team. Oh, we’re so mean. We like Phoenix and Peter, if not only for the reason that he is in the same room as a shirtless future Calder winner *cough* Kyle Turris *cough*.



David Perron – left wing – St. Louis Blues
62 13 14 27
Here at the HockeyJunkies, we call him The Rookie. We wish we knew why. He had a pretty good rookie season even while on the Blues. We think he’s funny cause he doesn’t know who Santa’s reindeer are.



Carey Price - goaltender – Montreal Canadiens
41 24w 12l 3ot .920 sv% 2.56 gaa 3 shutouts
Carey is the only weak link on the Montreal Canadiens Vader death-drip on the Eastern Conference. Only reason he’s the weak link is because he isn’t proven yet. He totally Chernobyl-ed in the play offs which is what keeps Guy Carbonneau up at night.



Devin Setoguchi – right wing – San Jose Sharks
44 11 6 17
He was one of the reasons that Steve Bernier was expendable and Noodles kinda hates him for that. JR loves Devin so we have to, too. It’s like if we don’t then we’re defying one of the hockey demi-gods.



James Sheppard – center – Minnesota Wild
78 4 15 19
On Minnesota, those totals are like a 50-goal season for a rookie. He’s just lucky that the coaches didn’t have him playing defense alongside Brent Burns because he needed to be more defensive.



Marc Staal – defense – New York Rangers
80 2 8 10
The more defensive player of the Staal Clan. He has brothers in the NHL. Marc was lucky enough to make the oldster Rangers out of training camp last season. There are four Staal brothers. We’re shocked that Marc scored 2 goals, we thought it would have been a 0. Did we mention that he has brothers in the NHL?




Jonathan Toews – center – Chicago Blackhawks
64 24 30 54
The new captain of the Hawks, one of our favorite serious captains. We know he has a sense of humor because we’ve seen the evidence of his alcoholic days…does anyone even remember those? Cause people don’t forget.

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