Tuesday, August 11, 1970

One-A-Day: Vancouver Canucks

This preview was written by Nicole

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Vancouver Canucks




After another disappointing loss to the eventual Stanley Cup Champions, the Canucks were looking to shore up their defence. They certainly did that and more. The Canucks arguably have the strongest defensive core in the game. They added Keith Ballard in a trade with the Florida Panthers (oh how Florida likes to give Vancouver their best players) thinking they would be unable to sign Dan Hamhuis come Hockey Festivus.

Hamhuis’ rights were traded twice and never signed with either team. Because of the acquisition of both Ballard and Hamhuis, it seems the odd man out is Kevin Bieksa due to his large cap hit. He even went on Off the Record on TSN to say he isn’t stupid. The offseason of 2010 saw the naming rights of GM Place (or Canada Hockey Place if you wish) were changed to Rogers Arena. This Canucks fan doesn’t like that until they call it Rogers’ Arena in honour of Roger Nielson.

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General Manager - Mike Gillis

Otherwise known as GMMG.

Head Coach - Alain Vigneault


Team Captain - Roberto Luongo

Only goaltender to be captain in the last 30 years (at least)

Player(s) everyone should love - Henrik Sedin

Can’t argue with a player that won the Art Ross and Hart Trophy last season. Plus he’s got a great sense of humour. (shhhh I’m spelling it with a U. I’m Canadian lol).

Ryan Kesler

He was second in Selke Trophy voting and lost by only one vote to Pavel Datsyuk. Had a career year and is this generation of Canucks fans’ Trevor Linden. Could potentially be captain if Luongo were ever to step down.

Players we don’t love -

Darcy Hordichuk – plays four minutes if he’s lucky to fight. He doesn’t even do that anymore. Not even worthy of a picture.

Andrew Alberts – he may be tall and good looking, but that’s about where the likes end. He took many bad penalties last year during the Kings’ series and I hope GMMG realizes that this experiment needs to be over.

Luongo’s ego – As much as he’s a good goalie, when things don’t go his way he blames everyone else but himself.


Who they got - Keith Ballard, Dan Hamhuis, Manny Malhotra, Jeff Tambellini, Victor Oreskovich and Joel Perrault.

Who they lost - Willie Mitchell (although he may sign still). Potentially Sami Salo if his injury doesn’t heal. Kyle Wellwood, Steve Bernier, Michael Grabner and Andrew Raycroft.

Located At - Rogers Arena (*shudders*), Vancouver, BC.


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Canucks Hotness Level – 7

The Canucks have some really hot players, but they have some that just don’t cut it. Hot ranks ahead of the ones that don’t cut it and those include adorable Swede Alex Edler, Russian Sergei Shirokov, American Keith Ballard and BC’s very own Dan Hamhuis. Not to mention another BC boy, Jeff Tambellini.

I really don’t know how to end this, but in a prediction that I believe that this year’s Canucks team has a better chance at winning the Cup then they have in past years. Hopefully I’m right with this one.

One-A-Day: Vancouver Canucks

Preview written by MelTing

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Vancouver Canucks




A perennial bridesmaid who wins the North West division and the first round of the playoffs, but seldom gets any further. Canucks fans were voted most annoying in the NHL by Spike TV, mainly because we’re so intense in spite of the fact we’ve never won a Stanley Cup. I’d call it optimism. Our only advantage is our great nightlife apparently distracts opposing teams.


Canucks have done a pretty major revamp on the back end, adding two new D-men who will play top four minutes. Just in time, as Sami Salo has outdone himself by having his annual major injury before the season has even started. The new defense is supposed to help Roberto Luongo regain the stellar form he displayed three long seasons ago. Combined with the high scoring Sedin twins, the Canucks are poised to win the Cup this year. Of course that’s what rabid Canucks fans say every year. In reality, we’re poised to win the division and the first round of the playoffs.

Random notes:
We do have the Green Men, who have said they wear nothing underneath those suits.


General Manager - Mike “the Mad Scientist” Gillis, who uses dietary analysis, sleep experts and constant training to optimize player performance.

Coach - Alain “don’t call me Elaine” Vigneault.


Team Captain - Well as of today, it’s Roberto Luongo, but rumour has it that the “C” may soon be ripped off his jersey to lessen the pressure on him. Wait, there never was a “C” on his jersey since the NHL doesn’t like goalie captains.

Player(s) everyone should love - Alex Burrows, the only player to rise from the lowly ECHL to the top line of an NHL team.

He’s got heart and smarts and does whatever it takes to help the team win. Everyone loves him but opposing teams, certain refs and Ron MacLean.

Player we don’t love - Shane O’Brien. In the first half of the season, he led the team in dumb penalties. Then he spent the Olympic break partying, showed up for the second half overweight, under-rested and hungover thus earning himself a suspension. C’mon S.O.B., as every sorority girl knows, beer has calories too.

Who they got - Dan Hamhuis, Keith Ballard, Manny Malhotra, Victor Oreskovich, Jeff Tambellini


Who they lost - Pavel Demitra, Willie Mitchell, Michael Grabner, Steve Bernier, Kyle Wellwood, Andrew Raycroft

Located at - GM Place, now Rogers Arena


Hotness level (on a scale of 1 to 10) - 6 or 7

Well, in terms of hotness, the Canucks would be around a six or seven. They do have Mason Raymond (cute in a boyish, Bambi way), Ryan Kesler (totally cut with a sizzlin’ Superman tattoo) and Kevin Bieksa (chiseled good looks).

Probably you wouldn’t kick Burrows, Alex Edler or Christian Ehrhoff out of bed for eating crackers either.

I prefer to see guys play before I judge how hot they are, but my friend Daisy has no such reservations. Here’s her take on some of the new Canucks: “I just peeped the roster and the Canucks are looking uuuuuugly. I almost thought Mario Bliznak (what kind of last name is that?) was cute and then I saw his ears! Yikes! Like a cross between an elf-frog and a frat boy. Desbiens looks like Javier Bardem's weird younger brother that isn't allowed out of the basement, but somehow managed to escape.....
Oh wait, Manny Mal-HOT-ra looks decent. It’s been a while since the Canucks had some "Hot Chocolate" if you know what I mean.”

You can judge for yourself, here’s how we party after a win: